[confusedgurly]

My question is why are some girls treated better than others. For example, I've been married for a few years now, and with him for over 10 years. My husband has always put me last on his priority list, and really could care less what I want or what I need. He never worried about starting a life with me, but always put his chores on me. So, I spend a lot of time alone, and he goes and does what he wants to. He claims that he loves me so much, but obvivously he could not care less, as long as I am there to do things for him. I've always been a good person, caring and always helping and worrying about others. Okay, with that said I know several other girls that have slept around with their husbands friends, both while they were just dating and while they have been married, and yet they treat them like their wives, not some slave to them. The reason I ask this question is because guys have always treated me like crap (even when I was not their personal doormat) and I'm sick of it. I just want to know, what your opinions are about the situation. I've tried getting him to leave, it's not like where we live he has a dime in or anything, but he will not go. I cannot leave because this was my home before we were together. He doesn't take me anywhere, talk to me about anything but what he wants (and it's the same thing every time he opens his mouth), he always plans HIS future not ours. I have tried telling him how I feel, but now... do you really think he cared? Nope. So, how do I handle this situation? And, if I were to leave... would I always be treated like an inadament object?

[QLP]

The simple answer to your question is, 'because they expect to be.' If we genuinely respect ourselves we automatically expect others to. If they don't we don't make room for them in our lives.

Since you say that men have always treated you badly and you have been their personal doormat I think it is time you got yourself some counselling to work on your self-esteem. Maybe you can get your husband to join in and work on the relationship as a whole.

Whether it is possible to get a better future with this man or not I believe you need to get yourself to a better place so that you can deal with the future more positively.

I wish you well.

[liz28]

You have allow yourself to treated like this for too long but it is never to late to change.

I think your confidence level is real low and your husband and guys you have dealth with in the past have pick up on this and uses it to their advantage. Then you stay with them hoping they change but they never do. They either leave you or stay while treating you as your husband do. Have did you stay with your husband so long when you so unhappy? This isn't a marriage at all.

I suggest you seek counselling to help you work on you. This can help build yourself esteem and see things in a totally different light. It isn't too late for change and I know you can do it and hope you do. You live in your shoes for way too long and it time for s new pair. You will be surprise at what you will and won't tolerate.

[talaniman]

People will only do what you allow them to. But your solution is easier than you think. Get a lawyer, start divorce proceedings, and get an order of eviction.

That puts you in control, and him having to leave.