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confused25 · Dec 30, 2006, 09:30 AM

Hey Everyone!

Well I met this really awesome girl and we had a great first date about 2 weeks ago (we had started talking about 2 or 3 weeks prior). A week later I gave her a small Christmas gift, nothing too forward, and she loved it! Then about 3 days later, on Christmas Day, I sent her an e-card wishing her a Merry Christmas (it was short and sweet). She responded that same day thanking me for the e-card.

My question is: What now? I'm not sure how much contact I should try and keep with this girl without sounding desperate and needy for a relationship, but at the same time showing that I still have interest. I haven't contacted her since Christmas Day and I'm thinking I should wait till next week (sometime after the New Year) to contact her again and see how she's doing. Is that too late or too soon?

I'm pretty sure she is dating/seeing other guys so I want to try and stay in the picture but I'm not sure how too. I'm afraid if I keep too much contact I'll annoy her, but I worry if I don't keep enough contact some other guy will come in and sweep her off her feet. Any advice on this silly little matter?

talaniman · Dec 30, 2006, 09:42 AM

If she is free for New Years ask her out, if not wait a week or so, and see if she is free. Never worry about the competition, NEVER. Just have a good time and make sure she does. No pressure, and go slow.

confused25 · Dec 30, 2006, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

If she is free for New Years ask her out, if not wait a week or so, and see if she is free. Never worry about the competition, NEVER. Just have a good time and make sure she does. No pressure, and go slow.

Well unfortunately I won't be able to see her until after January 8th since she is back home for the Holidays. I was planning on e-mailing her sometime next week just to say hi and see how her New Years went. Then during the week of January 9th I'll ask her out again. Is that a good plan?

I just don't want to come off as trying to go to fast, so I'm trying not to constantly e-mail and call her like I did with my past relationships. Problem is that I haven't learned what's the right balance with regards to this.

Also, you're right, I shouldn't worry about the competition. What happens, happens. Anyway, all advice on this matter is very much appreciated.

richsaha2007 · Dec 30, 2006, 02:39 PM

This situation is kind of tough. I would find something you two both enjoy doing (bowling, movies). When you do those activities, make sure she enjoys doing it with you and only you. That way when you ask her to do that activity, she would love to do it with you only. I have this girl who loves bowling with me only because I introduced it to her and gave her some lessons. So, whenever she wants to go, I'm the first person she calls.
While you are doing that, make sure you are dating other and women and keeping busy. You do not want to simply just spend time with her. There are other womwn out there who are probably ten times better than her. Just keep your mind open.

confused25 · Dec 30, 2006, 10:59 PM

I'll definitely keep my mind open. Thanks for reminding me to do so. I'll also make sure I find something that we both really enjoy doing.

Unfortunately I'm still unsure of how often I should contact her (or any woman you are dating for that matter). Is once a week good? Twice a week? Less then that, more then that? These details seem important because if I contact too much I come off as desperate, but I worry that if I don't call/e-mail enough I'll screw up this chance. See where I'm coming from?