[aimee_tt]

Yeah but they were broken up. So he didn't cheat.

If the girlfriend likes the girl then there shouldn't be a problem with supervised visitation in a few months time when she has had time to settle down.

If she didn't like the girl to start with then basically choose one or the other.


But honestly when you got back with your GF you would have had to have known this day would come!

You have to ask yourself what's more important a rocky relationship or a drunken sex buddy.

[asking]

I wouldn't want to go hang out with the woman my boyfriend just slept with.

But I agree, sleeping with an old "friend" makes her not a platonic friend anymore. She is certainly a threat to your relationship with your girlfriend and I personally don't blame her for asking you to not stay in touch, at least for now. Maybe in a couple of years, things will be different. But if you are already putting the girl_friend before the girlfriend, then your relationship is doomed, I think. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

As for the condoms, those thoughts are all your own. You have no idea where they came from or how they were used. But if you ask her be prepared to listen to an honest answer and accept it. Never ask questions you don't want the answers to. Maybe she blew them up as balloons. You could think of that every time you start to torture yourself. I think you should not confront her, just give yourself a few weeks to get over it and really seriously try not to think about it.

You got a lot of good advice here.

[Kitkat22]

Yeah but they were broken up. So he didnt cheat.

If the girlfriend likes the girl then there shouldnt be a problem with supervised visitation in a few months time when she has had time to settle down.

If she didnt like the girl to start off with then basically choose one or the other.


But honestly when you got back with your GF you would have had to have known this day would come!

You have to ask your self whats more important a rocky relationship or a drunken sex buddy.

You're totally right

[Homegirl 50]

I didnt break up because i slept around. We broke up, went our separate ways and then it happened. This friend i grew up with since Kindergarden. we had a few drinks and sex happened. I was already broken up during this time

So you're upset with her doing the same thing you did! Would you want your girl to continue to talk to the guy she had sex with? I'll bet not.

You two need to leave each other alone.

[Kitkat22]

So you're upset with her doing the same thing you did! Would you want your girl to continue to talk to the guy she had sex with? I'll bet not.

You two need to leave each other alone.

Walk away.. you have two different sets of rules for a man and a woman. It's okay that slept with someone when you were "drunk". It's okay you keep in touch with this woman on Facebook.. but you are ticked because you found an empty or almost empty box of condoms... You were broken up.. if she had bought stock in the Trojan Condom Company.. it's none of your business. YOU AND SHE WERE NOT TOGETHER.. Get over it or get out...

[Homegirl 50]

Comments on this post
asking agrees: which two do you mean Homegirl? I'm confused!

He and his girl friend.
He's angry because she slept around when they broke up, she angry because he wants to continue seeing the "friend" he slept with.
I see no solutions here.
He needs to leave his girl friend. Maybe his "best friend" will be there waiting for him.

[asking]

I didn't think that OP said he was angry--just that he was having visualizations he wanted out of his head and worried he would not trust her.

He wrote:

I will be honest and tell you all that I ALSO slept with people during the break up. I guess I thought I was over it. Therefore, I can understand if she did the same as well... It's just now that we are back together, I can't seem to release those images from my head, and I don't know if she will have sex with this person again. Maybe it's a trust issue... but it shouldn't be because we were broken up..

To me this is an honest, conflicted statement of how he's feeling, not an attack on his girlfriend. He's admitting that what he's feeling isn't necessarily fair. I don't feel that he's justifying his feelings, but instead asking for help about how to get past them, recognizing they are destructive to his relationship.

[Kitkat22]

I didn't think that OP said he was angry--just that he was having visualizations he wanted out of his head and worried he would not trust her.

He wrote:


To me this is an honest, conflicted statement of how he's feeling, not an attack on his girlfriend. He's admitting that what he's feeling isn't necessarily fair. I don't feel that he's justifying his feelings, but instead asking for help about how to get past them, recognizing they are destructive to his relationship.

The two of them are arguing all the time... Maybe counseling will help. I think he's very insecure and so is she. Lot of tension.

[talaniman]

Lets not forget his unwillingness to leaving his friend that he slept with alone. He is fine with it, but his girl is not, so maybe they both have crossed a line of no return.

[asking]

I think if he gives up his woman friend and understands why that's necessary and gets a handle on his own jealous feelings, it seems like things could potentially get back on an even keel. They were together for 8 years. (But we don't know what else is wrong.)

But if he wants to keep the other woman as a "friend," I think the arguments will continue and they might as well quit now.

[Kitkat22]

I think if he gives up his woman friend and understands why that's necessary and gets a handle on his own jealous feelings, it seems like things could potentially get back on an even keel. They were together for 8 years. (But we don't know what else is wrong.)

But if he wants to keep the other woman as a "friend," I think the arguments will continue and they might as well quit now.

You're right.. I believe we should hear as Paul Harvey used to say, "the rest of the story."

[ZoeMarie]

I'd be curious as to where you see this relationship going. I didn't see any answers here about how old you two are or how long ago you've met or anything. 8 years is an awful long time to be in a relationship without taking it to the next level. There has to be a reason for this. Maybe the same reason why getting back together isn't such a good idea?

[Homegirl 50]

Quote:
I will be honest and tell you all that I ALSO slept with people during the break up. I guess I thought I was over it. Therefore, I can understand if she did the same as well... It's just now that we are back together, I can't seem to release those images from my head, and I don't know if she will have sex with this person again. Maybe it's a trust issue... but it shouldn't be because we were broken up..

He doesn't know if she will have sex with this guy again. How about his girl friend not knowing he he will do the same. He does not want to give up his friend even though he had sex with her.
They have been together 8 years. That is a long time. I'd like to know why after 8 years they are still just dating and why they broke up?

[Kitkat22]

Quote:
I will be honest and tell you all that I ALSO slept with people during the break up. I guess i thought i was over it. Therefore, I can understand if she did the same as well....It's just now that we are back together, I can't seem to release those images from my head, and I don't know if she will have sex with this person again. Maybe its a trust issue....but it shouldn't be because we were broken up..

He doesn't know if she will have sex with this guy again. How about his girl friend not knowing he he will do the same. He does not want to give up his friend even though he had sex with her.
They have been together 8 years. That is a long time. I'd like to know why after 8 years they are still just dating and why they broke up?

Clearer picture now!

[asking]

Quote:
I'd like to know why after 8 years they are still just dating and why they broke up?

Oh! Good point!

[Kitkat22]

Oh! Good point!

Maybe they argued all the time. Eight years is a big chunk out of a life.
After that many years I don't think it's going to happen. I hope they don't waste another eight.