[budtme]

Wife and I have separated. I have depression and I let get between us. Now she has shut down on me. Throwing religion and god at me . And now says she not sure if she can get past issues and if I get depression under control if she can still even love me again like she should. I am in desperate need of help. I love her and will do any thing to get her back and keep her happy..

[Eileen G]

Deal with the depression first of all. Go to your doctor and see if you need medication or therapy, or both, and do them. Depression is treatable, but you have to stick with it. It doesn't go away overnight.

When you have done that, then reassess your marriage. It is possible that when you are not depressed, you may decide a marriage full of religion and God is not what you want. Or she may decide that she does want to get back with you.

[talaniman]

Get help, see a doctor!

[JoeCanada76]

You need to be willing to receive help. You can not can anybody back or be truly happy or make anybody else happy until you have worked on getting your depression under control.

That means seeing a doctor,

Seeing a counselor,

And working on yourself and getting through your own personal struggles.

It is hard to say if this separation is permanent or not. Put in the effort to work on yourself. That is what is important right now.

[Jake2008]

I would like to think that your wife would be supportive when she realizes that you are going to seek help for depression.

But then, perhaps you are depressed because of her.

If she's already left you as you have said, perhaps she wasn't a good partner to begin with.

[Cat1864]

You have to be willing to get help for the Depression because you want to be better. Making changes for her is like saying that if she isn't there you aren't going to get help. In a way, it is a subtle form of emotional manipulation. Also, saying you are making changes for someone else gives you a built in rationalization to quit getting help if the other person doesn't respond the way you want them to. Getting support from those willing to give it is great, but rely on giving yourself the support you need.

How long have you been married? How long have you been dealing with Depression? How long has she been dealing with you being depressed? How many times have you said you were going to get help but didn't or didn't keep up with treatment?

Get yourself together. Show the world the non-depressed you. Learn how to face the world and the future when you aren't depressed. Then make decisions about what you want to do. Right now, you need to deal with each day and what it holds.

[Devorameira]

Depression is serious business - See a doctor and get treatment. Take care of yourself first and just maybe your wife will follow.

If you do get your depression treated and she isn't there for you, then she wasn't worth it to begin with.