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mobileone · Jun 15, 2010, 02:10 PM

Hi my boyfriend doesn't show any affection, doesn't cuddle, I've been with him three years, and the sex soon droped off after 1 month, when we go on holiday I have to ask him to get into bed for sex, he says there is nothing wrongwhen I ask him. He won't go down on me, says he doest like it. What should I do, he is a nice bloke but I need affection, I've talked to him about this, but he does nothing about it

Synnen · Jun 15, 2010, 02:25 PM

I would, personally.

If you've talked about it and he doesn't change, then what's the point of staying?

Jake2008 · Jun 15, 2010, 02:50 PM

After three years, most of which is unsatisfactory for you in the intimacy department, I'd say that it's time to do more than hope he changes, because he likely won't.

Without help that is.

There may be reasons he lost interest. He may have a low sex drive, or some sort of sexual dysfunction. He may have, and likely does, reasons that he does not want to share with you- including embarrassment over what may be a problem he is well aware of, but cannot fix.

While you continue to expect him to be more assertive sexually, he remains the same. The pressure from you, may be fueling the lack of fire in the bedroom.

Before you give up, have a serious talk with him, and without judging him, or making him feel inadequate, see if he won't agree to have a complete physical, and talk to the Doctor about the sex issue.

If he is otherwise healthy and could be engaging in sex, then see a couples counsellor. Something other than the obvious is causing this.

smoothy · Jun 16, 2010, 05:11 AM

There are better guys out there... that WILL go down on you (I assume its NOT a personal grooming or hygene issue) , that will have a better drive that matches yours more closely.

You at least see the real him... you have to decide if that's good enough. Because that's all you are getting with him.

Ever hear of the definition of insanity?

You do the same thing over and over again... expecting different results?

talaniman · Jun 16, 2010, 07:30 AM

I think you have had enough of a preview of what being with this person will be like in the future, so its up to you to know if its worth putting up with, or NOT! Then you have a decision to make for yourself. Accept who and what he is, or move to a better situation for yourself.

You sure can't change him.