[Remy_29]

Hi am 20 and am a female,
Well here goes, so for the past four months I have been in an intimate relationship with my friend, who has said form the very start of this "relationship" has no strings attached and we can't get into deep. The reason being she's a girl and she doesn't want a relationship, I spend every weekend with her and see her most nights. Thing is its way past the line of friendship now, even she is starting to say what if its gone to far. But promised her I wouldn't get to deep, and I think I've fallen in love with her. Its like were going out, she does not like it when I go away or if I don't see her loads, or if am out with my mates lol When she was drunk she told me that she didn't want me to get with anyone else and she said she was selfish because one of these days what happens if she meets a boy she likes what does she do? Are we allowed to get with different people. I told her she can do what ever she wants she said from the start no strings attached. But the thought of that drives me insane.

Now I can't stop thinking about her, we talk everyday, I just left her house now! I have never been in a situation quite like this before. I haven't even been with a girl before, not like this. She's told a few of her friends about me, these people are older though. Am not allowed to tell anyone! Hence why am ask for help on here. What should I do about this whole situation? She keeps saying this isn't going to be forever and I keep telling myself that as well but am crazy about her.

She has a friend who is a bisexual and this friend of hers has a girlfriend as well, lets just call her "amy" but when ever she comes out with us amys all over her (the lass am getting with)and that drives me insane as well because amy has feelings for her. Ages ago before me amy told her she had feelings for her then totally messed her around. But its like amy can't do anything wrong and they flirt like mad, obviously amy doesn't no about us two, she can probably tell by my face that I can't stand her. She's a canny lass but I wish she would just leave her along, its so frustrating my "friend" likes to call amy a lot and message her and stuff yeah its fine, there friends I get it. But they don't have to be like that in my face all the time.

I feel like am waiting around for the end of this thing I have going, but getting over her will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. I totally happy and when were together things could'nt be happier she even told her friends I make her happy. What should I do?

[Clough]

Hi, Remy_29!

How long have you know this friend of yours with whom you're intimate and are you both near to the same age as each other, please?

Thanks!

[redhed35]

Your in a 'friends with benefits' situation,gay,bi,straight,the result is the same,someone gets hurt.

You want more she does not,she keeps you a secret,and has made it clear she does not see a future with you.

Why torment yourself.

Ill give the same advice id give anyone else in your situation,end it,you deserve better,go no contact.

I'm not saying its going to be easy,but as long as she is sitting on the fence as regards your relationship your going to be stuck in limbo.

[talaniman]

Oh come now. If you want to be happy, remove yourself from this gigantic friends with benefits circle.

Of course she is happy with this arrangement, she get it from many sources, but not you.

Either stay in this, and accept the openness of it, or leave, and go through the healing process.

[Remy_29]

Thanks for the advice :) and inresponce to the earlier question am 20 and she's 21. - known her a while but we only started hanging around bstart of feb, one thing lead to another and now were in this situation... Lol

[redhed35]

Thanks for the advice :) and inresponce to the earlier question am 20 and she's 21. - known her a while but we only started hanging around bstart of feb, one thing lead to another and now were in this situation.... Lol

Then your old enough to make a considered choice,are you going to be 21 or 22 before you decide you deserve better?

[I wish]

She has the perfect arrangement. She has her friends with benefits with you, while you're latching on like a puppy because you have fallen so deep with her. Furthermore, if she really liked you that much, she wouldn't be messing with your mind. I don't see why time would change her mind. She can easily find another guy to replace you and to mess around with.

All the while, she can go out and have fun with others because she has a no strings commitment with you. She can tell you all day that she doesn't want you to go find someone else, but that's not stopping her from finding someone else.

You've allowed yourself to become her doormat. I'm guessing that you're too afraid to put your foot down and say, let's be exclusive or go your separate ways? You're probably too afraid that she actually will go her separate way and regret putting your foot down.

Therefore, you are left with dragging out this indefinite period of limbo. The question is, how much longer are you willing to stay in limbo? Keep in mind, my first sentence, she already has the perfect arrangement, why would she change?

[Remy_29]

Yeah I ano your right and I appreciate your honesty! Its just we get on so well and she just an amazing person guess I just don't want to let her go

[talaniman]

Few would want to rock the boat. But what is it your holding on too? You want to give your all to her? What are you getting back for giving your all?

If you aren't willing to share, then say so, and do something about it.