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disgustedmom · Jun 10, 2010, 05:18 PM

My 18 year-old daughter repeatedly insults me and calls me overweight! I'm 5' 21/2" and a petite build, weighing 130. Even if I lose weight, she's SO hurtful! Is it true that if someone finds fault with others, that they're really unhappy with themselves? Do I respond to these insults?

ClueLess033 · Jun 10, 2010, 09:16 PM

She may call u names but it doesn't mean she really means it she prob only say it because she angry or upset with u..
Or maybe she has another problem like with friend or Boys and she takes it out on u..

Talk to her and see why she's so upset and angry

justcurious55 · Jun 10, 2010, 10:37 PM

Sometimes that's true. But even if that's the case, I wouldn't stand for it. Talking to her and finding out why she says it is a good idea. Making it clear that as long as she lives under your roof she'd better not say it is an even better one while you're talking to her.

Wondergirl · Jun 10, 2010, 11:01 PM

Yes, she has to put you down in order to make herself feel good. Think back. Can you noodle this one to figure out why? Has anything happened lately to cause her to feel less of a person?

Meanwhile, bury the hurt and make a joke of whatever she says -- turn her words into a silly song, Sesame Street style, for instance, or into a rhyme like "weighty, eighty, freighty, gatey, matey" or into a riddle like "Who is bigger, Mrs. Bigger or her baby? (Her baby is a little Bigger.) or tell a story..."Once upon a time there was a... " In other words, make light of her comments. She's trying to hurt you for some reason, so don't let her do that; don't let her have that power.

RadioActive697 · Jun 12, 2010, 11:25 AM

That may be true. She could also be angry or upset with you. She may be insecure or have emotional issues with herself. But just ignore it but talk to her and ask her why she does it. And when she makes insults don't say anything. Be the mature one. :)

ellen0 · Jun 12, 2010, 11:41 AM

Just remind her that you are separate people and she is young. This is the beginning of her independence from you though. It usually happens in the early teens. In time she won't worry about how you look. Until that day comes I would just keep saying that is no way to talk to your mother.