[darkdays]

Ok, so I met someone else. We hit it off great. She was into me, I was into her. Everything about her took my mind totally off my ex, except for when we talked about our exes. We spent the night together. She wanted me to stay, we had sex. I was hesitant at first, but went along with it. It was great. Everything about her was great. I fell for her totally. I left the next morning for work, then come back to an email from her telling me how she was troubled about how I felt for my ex, how she won't ever be anything like her, how she never wants to be compared to her, how awful she was to me and that she was much better, that I probably couldn't handle a woman like her, and how she would go out of her way to be nothing like my ex. Then she says she doesn't know if we would be compatible together.
So I called her, and she pretty much was telling me how she wants to be loved for who she is, and never like someone else. Then she tells me she wants to slow things down.
Now she doesn't seem interested at all. It went from totally being into me to nothing.
Can anyone explain what happened?
Thanks

[rocklobster]

Sounds like she's being immature and might be just insecure with herself and her own problems.

You had a great time with her, but if she's showing
These types of feelings and reactions. It just makes her
Look unstable is all.

I say try and move on before you get attatched

[talaniman]

Relax dude, she is just being honest with you. Its not like the interest is gone, but as a stranger she has doubts, and rightfully so.

You have done the easy part, had the sex, now pursue and see what's next, but no more venting about the ex.

She is a smart cookie, and knows better than just lavishing you with love and attention, and she has correctly guessed that you still have baggage to unpack.

I suggest you do that, and enjoy getting to know if you and this new stranger are compatible.

Hope you use birth control, if the opportunity for sex arises again, but to be honest, I doubt it will. You would be well advised to find out the difference between love, and lust first.

However DD, it good to see your are attempting to move beyond your past.

[I wish]

Why are you in a hurry to find a new girlfriend? That's exactly what we call a rebound.

I think that you're too rushed: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ce-458010.html

You haven't been broken up for long. As your ex is clearly affecting your interaction with new people, I strongly suggest that you spend more time recovering from the break up.

Furthermore, when you meet a new girl, you don't need to rush into intimacy. That's could be worse than opening a can of worms. Just get to know new people and enjoy their company.

As for this girl, she was being honest. I suggest that you let her know that you're really interested in getting to know her better and that you understand her concerns. If she's willing to give it another shot, make sure you SLOW THINGS DOWN. Keep your pants on and do more talking to get to know each other's personality.