[emilymay1988]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2years now and we have a 1 year old son,
Recently I had some texts messages from someone I classed as a friend that weren't appropriate, I sent back that I wanted nothing to do with him. My boyfriend saw both what was sent and what I replied so he knows I wouldn't cheat but months down the line still says I lied and hid them from him and that he can't trust me, this is pushing me away to the point I can't stand anymore.
A few months ago I heard his so called mates say some awful things about me but he has taken their side saying I've lied, I've sworn on my sons life that its not true but he still doesn't believe me, they have also told friends of mine that he wants a dna test. I asked him and he denied it but still continues to take their side.
I am distraught. I am at breaking point, he is hot and cold with me expects me to do what he wants when he wants.
I've lost my best friend as we were friends long before we got together but I don't know what to do.
I'm always in the wrong I get shouted at if I snap or get angry.
Please give me some advise as I want this to work but don't want to be the one to take the blame, its his problem not mine

[JoeCanada76]

I do not understand this. There must be more to the story.

You showed him the texts you got and the texts you sent. Yet, months later says you lied? What did you lie about?

I am thinking there is more to this, and honestly I found your question confusing.

Why would you swear on your sons life. There must be a question about the kids father. So you keep hearing things from his friends?

What about what he is saying? Has he ever asked for a dna test?

Also it could just be an easy way out of responsibility maybe? On his part.

You try to say it is all him to blame, that its his problem only but your wrong. If your truly a couple then it is both your problems to resolve not just his.

[redhed35]

you have hit the nail on the head,its his problem!

there is a main stable to any relationship that needs to be there,and that's trust.

no trust = no relationship.

if he can't get over something that DID not happen,you need to put your foot down and tell him to cop on,you have a child together,if he is so immature to listen to hearsay and gossip about you,won't stand up for you,for me,id give him the chance and if nothing changed,I would walk away.

your being hung drawn and quartered for something you did not do.

he has trust issues,or he is protesting too much.

[I wish]

It's not about what you did or didn't do. If he doesn't trust your word, then you've got bigger problems than just the text messages with the other guy.

Unless there are some facts missing, if you're telling the truth to him already but he doesn't believe you, then it's time to put your foot down. If he can't find it in himself to trust you, then it's time to break up.

There's no reason for you to prove yourself to him if you didn't do anything wrong. Unless again, we're missing some facts.

[JoeCanada76]

At the same time she is so called going by all the information by 3 rd party. She keeps talking about what she is hearing from his friends but not him. Why is she always talking to his friends and not him.

I honestly have a feeling there is a lot more missing to this whole story, if you re read the whole post you would see there is a lot more to this story then meets the eye.

[positiveparent]

There's an old saying that goes " he/she who accuses is usually the one doing the dosies"

Basically it means the one who claims the other is up to no good is more often than not the one who is actually up to it.

I would say you definitely have trust issues here, if he wants DNA tests and you're sure he's the Dad call his bluff make arrangements to have them done.

Don't bother argueing with him, if he thinks the way he does and you're not guilty of what he claims then I personally would leave him, child or not, because a relationship fraught with arguments and communication break down isn't good for a child to be raised in.

Don't feed the flame, ignore what other people say if you truly have nothing to hide or have not been unfaithful in the relationship then just ignore him, he cannot argue alone, he will soon go on to another topic, and get his relationship with you and his child back on track.

You both seem somewhat immature, but you have a baby and that Baby should be your first priority, its not healthy for a child to grow up in a home with constant bickering.

You can put a stop to all of this, you can leave him or you can refuse to be drawn into his petty accusations.

Myself I would take my child and leave, because the child's well being and happiness should be your main priority, that goes for both you and the Father.

I would also say that he is a control freak.

[talaniman]

It's a big red flag that outsiders can influence a relationship so deeply.