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danielmph · May 31, 2010, 04:53 AM

My brother broke up with her girlfriend before I knew her, and I found that they were dating after I met this girl.She told me about her past relationship...
All we had to do, was to be friends, but now I am falling for her. How do I tell her that I love her and I want to date her?

talaniman · May 31, 2010, 05:28 AM

How old are you? And what does your brother think about all this? How old is he?

Devorameira · May 31, 2010, 12:33 PM

You say you love her, but it's obvious that you're young and haven't got a grasp on what love is all about. "Liking" takes from months to years to build into "Loving".

Be sure your brother is okay with you dating his ex BEFORE you ask her out. If he doesn't mind, just ask her out on a casual date, but don't tell her you love her before you even get to know her.

HeavenlySpiced · May 31, 2010, 03:36 PM

DO NOT tell her that you do. Your brother might say he's okay with it now, but in the end it will hurt. I also have to agree with the others. How old are you? I would hope you were smart enough to tell the difference between a regular girl and one that once belonged to your brother. I'm just gonna say to not get too far into this girl. It won't benefit you. I have a twin, believe me, I know how it works with brothers. And watch how bluntly you throw the word love around. There's a difference between 'love' and 'like'.:confused:

teastalk · May 31, 2010, 04:07 PM

Yes. Ask your brother what he thinks first. If he doesn't mind, just ask her out on a date. I also think you are probably pretty young. Love doesn't develop until later on through being cared for, caring for the other, spending time together, etc.

danielmph · Jun 1, 2010, 05:31 AM

I am 21 and my brother is 23,His ex-girlfriend is 19

slapshot_oi · Jun 1, 2010, 05:48 AM

Since you know his ex so well, I'm guessing you see your brother all the time which means if you date his ex, he would see her all the time or be forced to severe contact with both her and you. He would have no shot to heal and he'd be doubly hurt because she's now dating his own brother, and that wouldn't be any fault of his own.

Spare your brother's feelings and find someone else.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2010, 05:51 AM

I would be very wary of dealing with your brothers ex, as maybe you like her but she like you because she is reminded of him.

To many things to go wrong with this situation. Talk to your brother. Maybe he won't care, or maybe he will be highly upset.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 1, 2010, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by danielmph

my brother broke up with her girlfriend before i knew her, and i found that they were dating after I met this girl.She told me about her past relationship....
All we had to do, was to be friends, but now i am falling for her. How do i tell her that i love her and i want to date her?

How long ago was your brother dating this girl and how long did they date? I'm not getting how he could date someone and you not know her unless it was at college.
She is quite a bit younger than he is.

I know I would not date someone my sister dated it's just kind of gross to me, but if he dated her casually for a short time and it was a while ago, ask your brother how he feels about it.
Does this girl know you are her ex brother?

danielmph · Jun 7, 2010, 05:07 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How old are you? And what does your brother think about all this? How old is he?

I am 22 and my brother is 23, he dosen't know that I am in love with his ex-girlfriend

Homegirl 50 · Jun 7, 2010, 08:33 AM

Does this girl know you are the brother of her ex?
How long ago were they a couple?

gobrella · Jun 7, 2010, 09:23 AM

Hey dude listen talk to your brother and tell him you kind of have feelings for your ex and he shouldn't care because the relationship is over right well if it over then it shouldn't be a problem and the girl I'm a girl all right I would love to know how some guys feel about me but some guys are to scared so go up to her and tell her hey I like you a lot and tell her if you don't like me than can we be friends I mean at least that's what I would do and just be nice about it but don't play with us girls because we are not little toys you play with and then through away OK so if you really like her you will go out with her for a while and not just a few days OK

redhed35 · Jun 7, 2010, 10:06 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ht-477195.html

Is this the same girl? A different girl? A different situation?

You state your age is 23 in the above post.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 7, 2010, 10:13 AM

That adds a different twist.
If this is the same girl, is this baby your brother's?

danielmph · Jun 8, 2010, 04:54 AM

This a different girl.. this one m working with.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 8, 2010, 08:26 AM

I thought you were in love with the pregnant one.
I think it may be a good idea to leave both of these young ladies alone until you get a handle on your own feelings.
The word love is just thrown about too much.

talaniman · Jun 8, 2010, 12:01 PM

I think you do better to not get carried away by your feelings before you have a lot more facts. Like what you mean by love, and what it means to be in love.

Since you haven't even talked to your brother, is a strong attraction you think is love, worth driving a wedge between you, and your own brother??

You need to have answers before you run head first into a brick wall as this work romance sounds like it could back fire and create chaos, at home with family, and where you earn your living. Hard to be happy with those two major areas of your life screwed up by feelings.