[lauryn1724]

I am 25 years old and am currently dating a 41 year old, who will be 42 in June.. We have been dating for almost 4 years, and he hasn't talked about marriage with me. I have asked him a few times about it but I think it thinks I'm just playing around, I would like to be married, and have children one day, I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time, what should I do?

[friend4u178]

Communicate and tell him how you feel about it , and make him aware your not joking , if you can't do that after 4 years together you never will.

Good Luck.

[ZoeMarie]

I'm assuming the two of you have established that you are exclusive? Neither one of you is dating anyone else? Do you guys live together or no?

[Fr_Chuck]

Either of you married before, does he have kids ? And the other questions, do you live together ?

After four years and esp if living together, men often see no need for the license. And of course having children don't require a license for many either.

But if you want marriage, make it clear to him, or push him and ask him. Make him tell you how he really feels

[talaniman]

You should have been talking about what you want years ago, so better get on it now.

[teastalk]

Ask him about it.

Open communication is the best relationship.

You guys should be able to communicate well by now.

[Jake2008]

Take your needs seriously. If being married and having children is what you want in this life, and he refuses to say one way or the other if he's on the same page, then take steps to end the relationship before you are asking the same questions 10 years from now.

Sometimes love is just not enough, when there are certain things you can or don't wish to compromise on.

It is a bit selfish of him, not to take you seriously. Maybe he just likes things the way they are, and figures if he doesn't talk about it, there isn't a problem to discuss.

Set aside some time, say on a Friday night, and take him out. Somewhere out of the usual places that is quiet. Tell him you really do need to discuss and get a fix on a few issues, as to where he stands, and how he feels about the direction the relationship is going.

Don't let him off the hook if he does the usual running around the bush. You have brought the questions of marriage and family up before, you aren't talking about replacing the coffee pot here.

Ask him straight up, what his thoughts are on the relationship, where it's going, and does it include marriage, and children.

If you don't get a straight answer back one way or the other, then I would say it is pretty obvious you are both heading in different directions.

[Homegirl 50]

I am 25 years old and am currently dating a 41 year old, who will be 42 in June.. We have been dating for almost 4 years, and he hasn't talked about marriage with me. I have asked him a few times about it but I think it thinks I'm just playing around, I would like to be married, and have children one day, I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time, what should I do?

I doubt that he thinks you are playing around. He is avoiding answering you. A man his age ought to know a woman your age who has been dating him for almost 4 years is going to want marriage and kids.
Has he been married before, does he have kids? He may not want either in which case you need to walk away before you spend anymore time on this man.

[lauryn1724]

He actually does have children but they are older and don't live with him, he has been married before and it didn't work out... Thank you all fro your advice, it's been driving me crazy lately I figured I could reach out and ask around to see different options, I'm not sure our relationship is really going to last much longer, I think he thinks I'm just going to be with him forever and not worry about a future, but that is important to me. Him, probably not because he has kids, and has been married... maybe we are just better off with different people.. And no, we don't date anyone else..