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altf4ed · May 24, 2010, 06:24 PM

I had a gay incident when I was a kid. It basically involved me getting raped. I don't really like other guys, but I don't know what to think of what happened back then. Some part of me thinks that I should be gay because that is the first sex-related act I ever committed, but on the other hand I don't want to be gay. I like girls.

jmjoseph · May 24, 2010, 06:27 PM

You need counseling.

It's a shame that you were assaulted. But it sounds like you are just confused because of it.

Talk to a professional please.

ohsohappy · May 24, 2010, 06:38 PM

If you don't like guys, then you aren't gay. Just because an incident occurred with another male (you said basically raped) does not mean that you have to continue down that path. I agree with jmjoseph, you need to see a therapist.

altf4ed · May 24, 2010, 06:51 PM

I don't really like idea of counseling. It seems like they would say I have a problem and then make a bunch of appointments just so they could get my money. I'm a little skeptical because of that.

ohsohappy · May 24, 2010, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by altf4ed

I don't really like idea of counseling. It seems like they would say i have a problem and then make a bunch of appointments just so they could get my money. I'm a little skeptical because of that.

Then talk to someone you trust, but honeslty, therapy couldn't hurt, and you don't have to go to a zillion appointments. Some people actually care. But if you're 100% sure you lik egirls, then you are not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay.

Fr_Chuck · May 24, 2010, 06:53 PM

Being rape is a crime, it does not make you gay, even experimenting and having gay sex, does not make you gay,
You are gay if and only if you desire and want to have sex with someone of the same sex.

You need to get over your early issues, and I would recommend a good counselor

altf4ed · May 24, 2010, 07:03 PM

I like girls, but there is a curiosity about guys due to the incident.

altf4ed · May 24, 2010, 07:05 PM

It isn't really a desire.

ohsohappy · May 24, 2010, 07:11 PM

Then see a therapist.

Fr_Chuck · May 24, 2010, 07:36 PM

And depending your age, there is often in both male and female to have some "wonder" and esp now in today's world where all types and forms of sex are being promoted it can often make the younger people cofused even more.

Only you know your feelings and desires.

If some event in our life, effects us, we need to see a therapist at times.

I go to one from time to time myself, and think most people should to help them in many ways.

Jake2008 · May 24, 2010, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by altf4ed

i had a gay incident when i was a kid. it basically involved me getting raped. i don't really like other guys, but i don't know what to think of what happened back then. some part of me thinks that i should be gay because that is the first sex-related act i ever committed, but on the other hand i don't want to be gay. i like girls.

Rape has nothing to do with sex, or sexual orientation. Rape has everything to do about control.and power over another individual. Children are targeted for many reasons because they are innocent, easily threatened, and naturally trusting. Many adults of all stripes target children, multiple times, multiple victims, until they are either caught, or they are dead. Rarely does one rape a child only once, there are many victims. Some who sexually assault children are protected, and their victims silenced.

To think that you may be gay, because of this incident, is what is called a 'thinking error'. It is an error in thinking that you had any control or consent over an adult who assaulted you sexually. There is nothing to connect you being targeted at a young age as gay. To be forced to comply does not change your sexuality.

Because you are confused with the issue, and are questioning your own sexuality, you put the rape into the category of being consentual, thus perhaps gay. You can no more judge your sexual orientation by that event, than you can by saying that you will also seek out children because you feel the need to control and have power over another human being.

Please think of one issue at a time, which is also why counselling is so important. To deal with the past, and realize through your own regression of events, is to settle with what happened, and realize that, although it has obviously affected your life, and how you see yourself in it, it was not a precursor to who you would become.

You could have a perfectly 'normal' relationship with a woman, and still feel that you are somehow torn between what happened to you, and who you are now. It will put a wedge into any intimacy, as long as it is in the shadows.

If you are gay, the past issue will also harm a healthy relationship, because you will always wonder what part the assault played in your decision.

And the assault has to be realized as a horrible event, separated from a normal healthy sexual relationship with a loving partner- gay or straight.

Please seek therapy. At least listen to the possibility, that the confusion and questions you have now, are heavily influenced by the rape you had as a child.

smoothy · May 25, 2010, 04:48 AM

If you preffer Sausage to taco's you might be gay.

But please get therapy... there is no shame in getting help when you need it. Lifes too short as it is.

slapshot_oi · May 27, 2010, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by altf4ed

It isn't really a desire.

If you're not turned on by men, you're not gay.

From the people I've talked to and posts I've read on here, you would know if you were gay from a fairly young age.

florida007 · May 30, 2010, 09:54 AM

Answer: when you look at a guy do you get a hard on and have a little lust that you want them. If you do; your gay. If not your straight. Just because you got raped by a guy means nothing. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Simple: (tell a policeman about the rape so that person cann't harm another man again) put them in jail.