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basketball21 · May 26, 2010, 07:23 PM

So this guy and I have liked each other for awhile. About 5 days ago we decided that we would be friends with benefits. We became friends with benefits because we just weren't ready to go to a higher level. We were both coming out of a bad break-up. When I say benefits I basically mean that we acted like a normal couple would, just without the title and no sex. So we would hang out, make out, walk hand in hand, etc. Then today he tells my friend that he lost interest and likes some other girl. I don't know what happened because everyday he sent me morning texts and said I was beautiful. Any ideas? I just want to understand him...

DaisyBoo · May 26, 2010, 07:54 PM

First, I believe if you are not a couple then you should not be doing couple things if you cannot handle them. It seems like you like this guy beyond a friend status and hope in time he would change his mind by being more than friends. I don't know your age but I can tell you that life goes on.

I don't know what you don't understand about him but I think you expected much more than he was willing to give. Abd remember: acting like a couple does not make you couple.

I wish · May 27, 2010, 06:15 AM

You were a rebound. He wanted a relationship with no strings attached, just in case he found someone else better, which is exactly the case.

You weren't on the same page from the beginning in terms of the type of relationship you wanted, so him losing interest this way should have been expected.

If he really cared about you, he wouldn't ask for no strings attached. It's a friends with benefits arrangement minus the sex.

talaniman · May 27, 2010, 06:20 AM

I think you got carried away with acting like a couple so YOU thought you were but he didn't quite feel the same, or decided that's wasn't what he wanted. Your first clue was,

We became friends with benefits because we just weren't ready to go to a higher level. We were both coming out of a bad break-up.

By the way, FWB, is generally about sex, so you were just friends without benefits. That makes you just friends that hold hands, which is... affectionate, but nowhere.

Hey that's cool, but that ain't holding him to you at all, and what he needed was a rebound, and maybe real FWB, and that includes sex. That's what I think.

You don't need pretend title to make you think you have something. If your not ready, then your not ready, but he is ready for more than holding hands, but maybe not jumping into a commitment.

It happens.