[Kenya50]

Hello,

Where do I start...
I have been engaged for 3 years to a wonderful man and we've been together for 5 years. For a good portion of those 3 years I feel we've become roommates, and I am beginning to notice that there are so many differences amongst us, that I'm wondering if we are even compatible anymore. There is absolutely nothing bad I could say about him... if anything I have been treated like a total princess. I still have this unsettling feeling inside and have even begun to look at other men in ways that I am beginning to feel guilty. I have been wondering for a solid year whether we would be better suited with other people. Our wedding has been postponed 3 times for various reasons and I'm wondering whether this is a sign.
Sexually we have always been incompatible, since day one but our friendship has kept us so close. This has never bothered me up until the past year. I have never spoken to him about it and actually don't find him sexually attractive and I also think he feels the same way, so I'm not even sure we could fix this. I don't want to make this long and tortuous to read but I'm really stuck on what to do next if anything.
He and I live completely different lives and I feel more like his roommate more than anything. He is 12 years older than me and I'm starting to wonder whether that was a mistake in the beginning. A huge portion of my resistance in wanting to change is that I am very financially dependent on him but I truly believe that I could be financially independent but am afraid to take that plunge.

I'm also not a young chicken anymore... I am 34 years old and would like to start a family in the next 2 years so I feel this doesn't leave enough time to find someone new as there are no guarantees. I'm really lost and any advice would be appreciated.

[Homegirl 50]

Get out of this relationship. It would not be good or fair to either one of you.
There is no other reason to date for 5 years be engaged for 3 and call off the engagement 3 times but you two are not a match!
Don't waste anymore time with each other and please don't bring a child into this mess you're in.
There is no reason for confusion. You two are just not suited and maybe at his age he does not want to be a dad in a couple of years.
There are all kinds of red flags here.

[ZoeMarie]

homegirl's right. I can't even begin to count the similarities between you and I when I was with my ex. I don't know how many times we set a date and he would push it back. Pardon the expression but, sh!t or get off the pot.

[talaniman]

I take it that even though you are so called friends, you don't talk much. Do so, just to get things into the open and be honest with each other.

You aren't the first couple who are better just friends, than lovers.

[Jake2008]

If you need a pair of shoes in a size 8, but there is only a size 6 available, would you force your feet into a 6, just to have the shoes?

What you are doing in my opinion, is wanting a reason or justification to stay where you are, marry a man you are not compatible with, in order to have the security, and possibly a family.

It does not fit with what you need, but you are afraid to deal with what is right in front of you.

This is not fair to him and it is not fair to you. Both of you are clinging to a dream that will never be fulfilled.

One of you has to step up, and be truthful and honest about how you feel, and that it is possible the relationship is very near the finish line, when it should be just out of the gate.

You cut your life short by settling for a man you do not truly love, and he is not free to move on, thinking that you do love him.

Perhaps time to allow yourself to think about a life without him, and make it happen.