[elliemay]

Won't listen to anything I say when I threaten her with if you don't like it move out she doent think ill do it

[Jake2008]

wont listen to anything i say when i threaten her with if you dont like it move out she doent think ill do it

While you are both sabre rattling and waiting for the other one to blink, is there any discipline in this relationship, or does it always get down to her leaving if she doesn't follow your rules.

What have you tried, what has worked, what hasn't. What kind of things is she not listening to, what is she doing that gets this ball rolling with no results at the end except an ultimatum.

Is her father in the picture, and how dose he react.

How is she doing in school, are there other siblings in the home? Are they affected by her behaviour as well?

It would be very helpful if you could paint a broader picture.

[Fr_Chuck]

Since she is still living in your home, it is obvious they were just threats and she knew it.

Perhaps stop threats you won't do, and start doing things you will.

[jenniepepsi]

Some people I know do not agree with me on this score. But unfortunately, in my opinion, at 17 years old there isn't much of anything you can do. You raised her. You obviously care about her, so I'm sure you did a good job. She is 17. It's a double edge sword. You can continue to let her disrespect you. Or you can crack down on her. Either one is not fun. Because if you crack down too hard, the moment she turns 18 she runs out that door and you never see her again. If you just let her get her way, she isn't really going to learn until she learns it from life experiances.
And that's what it boils down to hon. In my honest opinion, by 17 years old, a mother has done all she can do and its up to the young woman. I say its time to set the rules, in a firm but loving way. And say 'if you do not like my rules, I love you but you know where the door is.'