[Clough]

Hi, HotPotato2009!

Concerning a mid-life crisis, I would think that age 30 would still be a bit young for that to be happening. I went through mine from about ages 40 - 45.

Is there anything happening currently in his life that might be causing him to have stress? Also, does this sort of thing between you and him happen frequently, as far as the mood changes are concerned, please?

Hopefully, others will also come along to address your question.

Thanks!

[jmjoseph]

It sounds like he was trying to get some "action". And since it took you a whole 30 minutes (I know), he had his wittle feewings hurt.

Is he childish? Does he act immature?

Some guys go through stages when they realize that they are not 21 any longer. That they stand out at college aged parties, and no longer get carded. But this sounds like because you weren't immediately aroused and receptive when he "presented", the offer was removed from the table. He might have even "finished" without you.

Try talking. Stroke his ego, but don't compromise yourself.

People think that women are complex creatures. Men sometimes are too. But mainly it's food, entertainment, sex, and sleep. I wouldn't look too deep into this.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

Okay what did I miss. He was falling asleep on the couch, and he came to bed, and fell asleep? What's to wonder? Sleepy guys don't share, and I see no reason to make this a big deal.

How do you get mid life crisis from this? Or even mood swings?

[HotPotato2009]

@ JMJOSEPH - No he didn't want any action at the time. I know how he get when he want to get action, and that was not it.

[Devorameira]

He's way too young for a mid-life crisis.

How long have you been together? Has this moodiness surfaced at other times in your relationship or is this something new?

If you’ve been together for a significant period (over a year) then you should know him well enough to determine if this is a personality issue or an isolated incident.

If it is an isolated incident, you need to find out what is troubling him (money, job security, etc).

If you can’t find a valid reason for his moodiness, then you might consider that he may be suffering from some depression and may need some outside help to overcome this.

There are so many possibilities for his demeanor. Can you provide some additional background information to help us point you in the right direction?

[Cat1864]

Have you tried talking with him about your concerns? An open and honest discussion might help resolve some parts of the problem.

HotPotato2009 agrees : Well he did have a small stroke a couple months ago. And I feel that he feels that he getting bored with his job and not having money, That could cause him stress

Did this happen before his stroke? If not, then it might be an idea to talk to his doctor about the side-effects of the stroke and the job related stress.

Is he looking for a better job?

Are you planning your wedding? That can be added stress, too.

[HotPotato2009]

@ DEVORAMERIA - What happens when a person goes through a mid life crisis?
He's had depressing moods from time to time after his stroke. And we just recently got a car too. So they could be it also. We have to pay $164 every other week then we have car insurance on top of that. I think the car may have added some stress too.

What kind of background do you want?

[HotPotato2009]

@ CAT1864 - I've tried talking to him about it, and sometimes he tells me and other times he says nothing.

He talks about looking for another job, but doesn't do it. He just talks about getting a part time job. He says that he wants to wait on me to get a permanent job before he looks for another job. But I feel he if wants a new job he should look for one. Cause it might take a while for me to find something permanent.

No, not planning a wedding yet. I think I may be the one stressed out more if we were planning a wedding :-)

[talaniman]

Its clear he is under stress, and from the finances to his health, he may be distracted, but I doubt it's a mid life crisis. More like learning to deal with a tough situation sounds to me, and we men do get a bit moody, and distant, when we are looking for a comfort zone.

I don't think this is all unusual given the circumstances he has been through, and going through, so be supportive, and stay positive, and not take it personally, as it sounds like he is wrestling with a few things at the moment, and needs time to make the right adjustments for himself.

So patients, and understanding are your best bets. Don't try to fix him, he ain't broke, just "growing"

[HotPotato2009]

@ Talaniman - Thanks :-) I appreciate that. And I will try to stay positive. It's not always easy trying to stay positive because his attitude is kind of making me feel depressed in a way. You know, his depression affects me too, but I will try. I guess that's all I can do. And hope that he will tell me what's wrong

[talaniman]

@ Talaniman - Thanks :-) I appreciate that. And I will try to stay positive. It's not always easy trying to stay positive because his attitude is kinda making me feel depressed in a way. You know, his depression affects me too, but I will try. I guess that's all I can do. And hope that he will tell me what's wrong

He will, but don't take his distraction PERSONALLY! :cool:

[Cat1864]

Is he on any medications?

[HotPotato2009]

Thanks :-)

@ CAT1864 - Yes he is. But he's been taking them for like 3 almost 4 months and he hasn't been acting this way. He takes some cholesterol pills that are supposed to lower his cholersterol and something else that I don't know the name of

[Cat1864]

Thanks :-)

@ CAT1864 - Yes he is. But he's been taking them for like 3 almost 4 months and he hasnt been acting this way. He takes some cholesterol pills that are supposed to lower his cholersterol and something else that I dont know the name of

I just wanted to make sure he wasn't having any issues with medications that could be causing their own issues along with what he is going through mentally.

[HotPotato2009]

Yea I understand what you mean. I really feel that he is just really tired of working where he is now. He's always told me that he wanted to get another job. He's also pretty good at drawing and I kind of think he wants to pick up on that more. But there aren't many art school for airbrushing around our area...

[talaniman]

Change jobs is not to good of an option at this point in the economy, and trust me, I know the trapped feeling when your options are extremely LIMITED. That is depressing, as well as the fear of taking a chance with landing another job, when the hiring is tough, when you have a job, even one you hate. That's not easy, but he may get creative.

Cholesterol drugs have side effects, and he has to be tested every 3 months to see if they work, and he probably takes blood pressure meds and thinners also, having had a stroke. They too have to be monitored, and adjusted. Ask me how I know.

He seems to have a full plate.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...im-469922.html

You might gain insights from this thread, and know you're not alone.

[HotPotato2009]

Well you guys, I found out what was wrong with him. He said it was me! He said that he feels that I treat him like a child, because I asked him who he was talking to on Facebook. Now I'm not the type to ask every time, only sometimes (I would say like 40% of the time. Which isn't a lot compared to others. Then he said that he don't always want to me go to VA with him and then the issues about the car (that he claims in my fault) but its really not if you know the story behind it.

So I told him I was sorry if he felt that way. I don't understand why he don't tell me these things when the problem occurs. Like all those times, I asked him what was wrong,he said nothing. So how was I to know that he was feeling that way. He wait until things get so bad to say something.

But, I told him that I was try and slack off a bit.

[Devorameira]

It's normal to suffer from some depression after suffering a stroke. A stroke would make you realize that you aren't immortal.

I've heard people say that once they have a stroke they constantly worry about having another one - a really bad one, so that could present a lot of stress and worry.

With everything he has going on right now and knowing his history, I think you just need to be patient and supportive for a while longer. If he doesn't knock the depression in the next few months, he may need to see a health care professional to help him through this.

[talaniman]

I don't buy his crock of crap, but you did the right thing by not making it a bigger deal than what it is. That's a great sign, that you can deal with his mood swings, and weird a$$ thinking, and actions.

"Its never about what life throws at you, Its how you deal with it that counts!"

[HotPotato2009]

Yeah. I do try. Sometimes I get a urge to say things, but I know how sensitive he is, so I try to walk away.

I don't think he's being fair though. He really hurt my feeling a bit by blaming me for his depression. The last thing I want to do is depress someone