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Homegirl 50 · May 12, 2010, 04:12 PM

She is likely not going to, so you need to get your head in the right place and try to move on.
You're young and have a lot of life to live. You have hit a road block, one of many you'll hit in life. Buckle up and keep driving.

talaniman · May 12, 2010, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by LostWithoutHer

It's bloody horrible, I just want to shrivel up into a tiny thing and never come back as a human. I just want her to contact me RRRR driving me insane!

You want her to contact you so you think there is hope she cares and changes her mind about you, thus putting your life together with no work from you. The easy way out.

Sorry guy, it just doesn't work that way and you should really get beyond wishing she would give you any false hope that she wants you back at this time.

The sooner you realize that you have the sole responsibility for your own happiness, the sooner you can get on with the work of making it so. Until then, your misery will be of your own making, and she has no fault in it.

See this as you getting off your own azz, and making things happen for yourself, without her help. Or you will drive yourself insane!

LostWithoutHer · May 13, 2010, 03:41 AM

Thanks for the comments.

LostWithoutHer · May 17, 2010, 03:18 PM

Okay I'm back online after being so upset to come on and her and write anything. She went to her prom, I had to drive past her and him together holding hands as I finished work at the same time she was waiting for a coach to go to her prom. It killed me seeing them two together, I've never seen her look the way she did, she looked so amazing, fake tan, long dark legs, the lot. As she still hasn't given me her number I couldn't text her all night, the night went on.. me wanting to die, I had to get drunk, therefore making me worse.

The next day, still no contact from her. The only contact we have is Facebook, she still has my number though but refuses to text me. All of her mates had been online saying how good the prom was etc etc, nothing from her still. All day I was asking myself if I should ring her house phone or not, I didn't. 8pm arrived and online she came, she posted her pictures up on Facebook, I asked her stuff like 'Good night? Where'd you sleep? You and him together now then or what?' You know.. as you do.. She said they were 'kind of together' and that she slept at his house, but said they didn't have sex or anything, just kissing all night. This broke my heart, I was having a serious breakdown in my room, finding it hard to breathe, crying like I've never cried before, I was lying on my hard bathroom floor in agony, thinking 'why?'.

Her pictures made me have yet another breakdown, seeing her like I've never seen her, very very drunk, very close to him, looking so so happy, saying that that night was the best night she's ever had, leavng me wondering; 'havn't we had better nights when we made love?'. I had to talk to her on the phone, I rang her house phone, I just had to.. After having a long chat about things with her for about an hour, I was feeling strong enough to say my goodbyes to her because all she's doing is non stop hurting me.. She seemed relieved? Leaving me very upset.

The next day, more and more pictures were being uploaded to Facebook of her prom and them two together, including pictures of him round at her house holding each other, smiling away with their champagne, me thinking that should have been me there... After agreeing I wouldn't contact her, I did. I sent her a lot of long messages to her Facebook telling her how destroyed I am, telling her she can't get together with him because it's killing me. I know I know, selfish of me.. Some days I feel strong to tell her 'Aslong as you're happy so am I', but then some days when I wake up or in the day when I'm at work I just feel like I need to talk to her and feel like I'm going insane and will go mental if I don't talk to her. She hasn't replied to these messages, and I know she's been online. It's been two days since I heard from her, I feel so alone, I feel destroyed, I feel like if I left her alone then she would get together with him, which means I tell myself I need to keep messaging her about things, I know I have to let go but I can't, I get scared to go on Facebook to see more pictures of them two or what they're saying to each other, I know you're going to tell me to delete her from everything but I can't, I'd rather know the truth than keep me wondering what the hell is going on with them..

Please, I need advice, a lot of it. I can't do this anymore. All I think about is good memories we shared, and I know she isn't thinking about anything to do with me. :(

I miss everything about her. I miss her voice, her touch, her company. Everything!

talaniman · May 17, 2010, 03:52 PM

I was harsh with you before, because I knew how your emotions would make you do some rather silly and impulsive things, and they have.

My advice is simple, get by yourself and cry your eyes out. You have to have her out of your system, and get with some reality, and start doing better things for yourself, so you are ready to stay off the Facebook, and go completely No Contact with her.

No, it's a damn hard step to take, probably the hardest thing you have ever done, and you may as well learn now. We all here have been through the same thing, and now its just your turn.

LostWithoutHer · May 18, 2010, 03:08 AM

I'm okay with the break up, I would be able to go No Contact with her if she didn't have anyone else on the go! She has Uni coming up, her exams coming up. I love her so much I would have given her the space to do them, but all she seems to do now a days is study, see him, text him. Breaks my heart!

All I ever do is cry on my own, it solves nothing. :(

talaniman · May 18, 2010, 03:44 AM

I think you haven't had the proper time to adjust to your circumstances as when you broke up, you stayed in contact for a few months, and stayed hopeful for better results, and that makes things much more miserable, and frustrating, but eventually, you will get tired of the crying, and being stuck, and you will get busy rebuilding a life that you enjoy, without her. Its going to take time, but you have to do as she has done, move on and is doing her thing because you sure ain't going to change things.

Homegirl 50 · May 18, 2010, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by LostWithoutHer

I'm okay with the break up, I would be able to go No Contact with her if she didn't have anyone else on the go! She has Uni coming up, her exams coming up. I love her so much I would have given her the space to do them, but all she seems to do now a days is study, see him, text him. Breaks my heart!

All i ever do is cry on my own, it solves nothing. :(

You are obviously not OK with the break up because you don't want to go NC knowing she is with someone else, But you must.
I know it hurts but you have to let go of her and move on with your life.
Stay away from Facebook and any other thing that allows you to keep up with what she is doing. That is not healthy.
This is going to take time.