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LJDK · May 17, 2010, 02:03 AM

Hi.
We are now officially over the excitement of a new relationship. So I can still get in the mood very easily being a man, but we all know not all women are so excited to have sex once that phase has passed.

So we as a couple decided to give porn a try, and start experimenting with my fiance's sexuality. What she likes and what her body is all about, as she no longer has all the adrenaline and hormones that comes with a new relationship.

So yesterday, after having the 1st weekend together in 3 months, we made love and she had what she would call the most intense orgasm ever. Listening to her voice and watching her expression, I would say I have never seen her enjoy it so much. And taking into account she nearly blacked out and could not move for a while.

Later during the day I suggested we watch some porn which she agreed on. So we started watching and soon it became evident it does turn her on. Once in the mood we turn it off, as she does not want to watch porn while having sex, only before to get in the mood. She had another insane orgasm... only this time I did not finish with her and had to stop shortly after due to her body becoming sore.

She was very tired, which is understandable considering the lack of sleep over the weekend and drinking. Being considerate I told her well I won't be able to sleep would it be OK if I watch porn and finish off. She agreed. At 1st I was lying next to her in bed, but that felt weird, so I moved rooms for a few minutes. I asked her if she minds and replied no it saves her the effort as she is really really tired. And she was starting to come down with flu.

Well those are the details which I hope might bring some stuff to light.
My concerns are, are there any pitfalls using porn as a turn on? She was ready to go after we watched it. Which in turn saves me effort. We agreed we will not use it every time, but only as a mechanism if she is not really in the mood, but I am.

I am just scared I might turn her into a porn addict. Could this happen? She prefers porn that looks real, not the porn pro's who have these huge breasts and scream like the roof is coming down.
What are your experiences with this and or advise?

Cat1864 · May 17, 2010, 06:32 AM

LJ, I am convinced that you look for problems and possible problems in the relationship.

Porn is only as important as the individual or couple makes it. You cannot turn her into something she isn't.

It is a tool like toys, fantasy, etc. If you depend too much on any one item it will of course end up affecting your relationship. It is the same with focusing on one part of the relationship or over-analyzing each word, action, touch, movie/song choice, etc.

LJDK · May 17, 2010, 06:49 AM

So its all good as long as we do not make it our sole turn on toy?

slapshot_oi · May 17, 2010, 07:00 AM

Cat couldn't have said it better, you're looking for a problem.

Could she become a porn addict? Ya, but so could you. There's a certain amount of risk with everything you do in life.

Chill out man.

LJDK · May 17, 2010, 07:03 AM

Im already a porn addict. ;)
And yes I might analyze things a little too much.

Jake2008 · May 17, 2010, 07:08 AM

A porn addiction is like any other addiction.

It has to be something that, over time, cannot be lived without. It affects you in ways far beyond the bedroom, and the porn activities, viewing etc. increase over time to get the same effect.

What you are experiencing is a new toy. Like any new toy, you want to play with it because it brings you pleasure.

Eventually the rapture with the toy will fade, and it's just another toy in the toy box.

When you add aclohol to the mix with your girlfriend, her inhibitions are lessened, and her satisfaction likely becomes more self-serving.

If you are feeling like you are taking a backseat to the porn, or that the porn will become preferable to you and you alone, then that would be a problem.

I would put the porn away, and the booze away, and see what comes naturally before you come to any conclusions about your sex life with your girlfriend.

smoothy · May 17, 2010, 09:52 AM

View it as a tool... but do avoid keeping it from becoming a routine. Guys too often find something that works... then beat it to death.

Keep things mixed up... this is one tool to use... now go out and find some more. Nothing can ruin something you like than repitition ad nausea. Like any good mechanic you need more than one wrench.