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kharoof · May 16, 2010, 11:32 PM

I got to know this guy who was very much in love with me. He proposed and asked my father for his blessing. After 6 months he had a car accident and became in debt and was about to lose his job. He gradually starting become more and more distant. He now has exams and asked for space. Whenever I said lets talk he would avoid it. Its been 12 days since we've last spoken. I text him saying hey are you up ( at night) I haven't gotten a reply. What do I do? I am devastated. Did he change his mind? Is it true that when I call when he doesn't want me to that it makes me seem needy in his eyes?

aimee_tt · May 17, 2010, 12:01 AM

Give him his space. Do not contact him. Do your own thing. Go out with friends and have a good time.

IF and when he is ready to talk he will contact you.

It looks like he's going through a rough time and just need to figure himself out.

talaniman · May 17, 2010, 05:49 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...im-298876.html

Is this the same guy? A guy who has fallen on hard times is not exactly looking to meet another's needs.

Jake2008 · May 17, 2010, 09:41 PM

You cannot read his mind or determine his reason or cause for treating you badly.

That he chooses to remain in a place by himself, probably means he will not communicate until he is ready. This leaves you hanging, wondering what is going on, and it is terribly unfair in my opinion.

I find it particularly odd that considering what he has been through, and you were close enough to be his fiancé, that he would not need you while he's going through a rough patch in his life. He could at least tell you directly that he needs time and space to get back on his feet again. That isn't too much to expect is it?

When communication breaks down, to this extent, I would be questioning whether he would respond the same way if you had an emergency, or if you had children, and one got sick. Would he also just shut down?

Give him the space he needs, without contact, and when and if he does come knocking at your door again, try to open up conversations that address the lack of communication.

Without that, you have nothing.