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    alisha789ahmed's Avatar
    alisha789ahmed Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 16, 2010, 12:02 PM
    My boyfriend and me have the same best friend but I'm jealous
    Me and my boyfriend have been friends for a very long time and then recently started going out, about a month ago. We have the same best friend, but she is more of my best friend than his. When I'm around he has private chats with her and I told him I don't like it and he has stopped but then I think that I'm affecting their friendship, which I don't want. I don't think they have anything going on at all because she has a boyfriend and he loves me a lot but I still don't see why I can't be around when they talk and why it has to be that I can't be allowed to be there, she tells me everything and he says that he tells me everything as well so what is the problem :S
    He once accidentally said that he has to look around to see if I'm there before he talks to her and then I come up out of nowhere and he walks off. That really upset me but he said, that's what you wanted and I remember you saying that if you want to have any private chats, do it when I'm not there. I am so confused. I don't like what's going on and I want him to be able to tell me things regardless if he is telling someone else at the same time and if she was a guy then yeah it might be understandable but she is a girl and my best friend and makes me feel weird. What do I do? How do I react? I said to him that I won't be around when he talks to anyone now and that I won't ask him any questions like "tell me what you just said" and all that. How can I get him to stop being like that? :(
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    May 16, 2010, 12:32 PM

    As long as your boyfriend and best friend are just friends, then there's no need for you to worry. You don't really need to do anything about it at all.

    If you really feel threatened about it, talk to him about your feelings. If he assures you there's nothing to worry about and that they're really just friends, then let it go. Trust him. Being paranoid is an absolute waste of time.

    Remember - Love and trust go hand and hand, and one can’t exist without the other. You're the one he wants. That’s why he chose you to be his girlfriend, not his girl best friend.

    If you can’t deal with it despite his reassurance, then the issue is on you, not him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 16, 2010, 07:46 PM

    I think you have issues that need to be worked on.

    I think you give some thought, and a lot of it, to your actions, and words, as its hard to take back things said, and done, from impulse.

    Then you can acknowledge that you know you have a problem, and are working on it really hard to both your friends.

    Shame to let feelings, intense as they are rule your life, love, and friendship.

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