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summertyme · Feb 9, 2009, 10:55 AM

There's this guy at work. He is always staring at me.

I don't know why. Sometimes he is walking, turns around and looks at me walking side ways or backwards.

He glances at me. We have a drinks machine that is for visitors in the reception where I work and he is always coming to take drinks although he is staff and they are for visitors only, but that's not important.

He forgot his card once and had to approach me to get a temporary one but was very clam and quiet.

Its strange. What could it be? He never makes an attempt to talk to me?

adam_89 · Feb 9, 2009, 11:02 AM

Well, do you want him to. Do you like him? Do you want him to talk to you? Does he give you any signs that he does? Does this just disturb you?

summertyme · Feb 9, 2009, 03:08 PM

[QUOTE= Does this just disturb you?[/QUOTE]

No. Its an observation as to what guys are thinking. It's the forefront for a reason behind everything.

I guess no one really knows what any body is thinking but God. He does what he does. Leave him.

adam_89 · Feb 10, 2009, 05:01 AM

Originally Posted by summertyme

No. Its an observation as to what guys are thinking. Its the forefront for a reason behind everything.

I guess no one really knows what any body is thinking but God. He does what he does. Leave him.

Ok, if you are satisfied with that, then OK. I would say that he may be interested in you though. Unless it is just really weird and awkward. It could be a crush or he could be a stalker.

summertyme · Feb 12, 2009, 07:45 AM

(Sorry, I didn't see your response)

I would say that he may be interested in you though. Unless it is just really weird and awkward. It could be a crush or he could be a stalker.[/QUOTE]

No he is not a stalker. My reason for posting this is that whether he likes me or not...

I have it before where a fella really liked a girl and told all his friends. He even split with his girl friend and his friends all started to tell her how he liked her but he - never ever said a word to her? He would just stare at her and tell his companions all the time?

I just want to know reasons as to why men can behave like this?

(I was showing something to a colleague today and the fella was really stretching out to look at what I was doing? I just noticed him doing that? Such guys get jealous when you speak to people but they don't know you and they don't speak?)

adam_89 · Feb 12, 2009, 10:31 AM

Some guys are really shy and don't know how to make the first move, and they may never make that move either. I can think several times where I would be staring at a girl and then she would catch me looking at her, and so I would look away. I never did act out on any of it though. Maybe he is waiting for you to say something. Try saying hey to him sometimes when you cathing him staring at you. Maybe it will strike up conversation.

summertyme · Mar 9, 2009, 07:05 AM

... "Maybe he is waiting for you to say something"...

Hello. I found out something interesting which states my earlier point.

I tried to make polite and general conversation with 'Mike'.

He didn't seem very talkative.

He told a mutual friend 'Kat' that he remembers the conversation with me but was busy and didn't pay much attention.

This is from a guy who is always staring at me and smiling when I say hello, smile etc?

Kat gave him my details to contact me (yesterday so nothing yet)and she referred to him saying something about "when we get to know each other". He said I was 'cute' and that the important thing to him is personality.

He does not seem shy at all, perhaps just not interested but wanting attention?

evelyn1989 · May 14, 2010, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by summertyme

..."Maybe he is waiting for you to say something"...

Hello. I found out something interesting which states my earlier point.

I tried to make polite and general conversation with 'Mike'.

He didn't seem very talkative.

He told a mutual friend 'Kat' that he remembers the conversation with me but was busy and didn't pay much attention.

This is from a guy who is always staring at me and smiling when I say hello, smile etc?

Kat gave him my details to contact me (yesterday so nothing yet)and she reffered to him saying something about "when we get to know each other". He said I was 'cute' and that the important thing to him is personality.

He does not seem shy at all, perhaps just not interested but wanting attention?

But the nice thing about this is, he remembered your conversation. How old is this guy anyway? Certain age groups of guys tend to be weird about things like this and I find it a huge turnoff. Anyway. It could be any of these reasons:

- really busy and hence hasn't contacted you/didnt talk much to you (this is absolutely true, it's the rare guy that can multitask)
- shy. I once had this really outgoing guy who would do things ard me but never speak much when spoken to. The tongue-tied thing happens to guys too.

- still wants to get to know you first. Probably thinks you are cute, but he might need more reasons to make a move on u, and no this has nothing to do with your qualities, but more like he hasn't known you enough to see your qualities yet. :)

- don't base everything off a one-time conversation. It was just once and he could have a zillion things on his mind. Try to talk to him again, but make it casual and don't expect too much out of it. The more casual you make it out to be, the more relaxed you will be, the less upset if he doesn't respond the way you want him to. Never anticipate his reactions, just go along with the conversation and enjoy it. If he doesn't like u, life won't end, but you would have at least made another new friend (:

summertyme · May 14, 2010, 07:01 AM

Still wants to get to know you first. Probably thinks you are cute, but he might need more reasons to make a move on u, and no this has nothing to do with your qualities, but more like he hasn't known you enough to see your qualities yet. :)

Hi EVELYN

Well its been a long time past and I eventually got to know the fella. You are right. To make a long story short I found out what he was indeed thinking all that time back during our first conversation and the correspondence with 'Kat'.

It was initially quite offensive on the contrary.

He said his impression of me was that I was most attractive but that I had Quote "no bum" which is a big contradiction. (I do a lot of jogging and weights which he absolutely abhores) but at the same time he was asking if I had cellulite or any marks on my back etc he was obsessive and those are clear signs of lust.

Actually I have never been told or asked those things before in my life.

He also said he was thinking something like why is she sitting next to me? I think.

Anyway, he was right not to want to talk to me and to spurn my approaches. As I said he was interested in me but he would never ever had said anything to me at all had I not pressed on it to my friend.

I am totally responsible for that. Plus and the main reason being - He is 8 years younger than me (but we look the same age!) (which he didn't like at first at all) and rightly so.

I generally wanted to just get to know the guy which was a big mistake and I should have just left things alone but I am glad as I learned so much about behaviour.

Especially from enquiring into older male friends that I sought advice from, all older married men. They were explaining the clear reasons for his comments and behaviour from a male perspective which all made clear sense.

The point boiled down to immaturity which is not his fault but I was quite degraded in the process which has had some remaining effects, but they won't last.

I have learned my lesson and next time I will wait ON God!

God Bless You