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New Member
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May 10, 2010, 09:20 AM
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What to do when your mom does not, or may never accept who your dating?
I am a 25 year old female and dating a divorced 36 year old man with two children. My mother completely disapproves just because he is divorced. But we are Christian and according to the Bible if his spouse was unfaithful he can put her away and is free to date and remarry. However, my mom is so against it to the point where she has never met him and wrongfully judges him. I spoke to my Pastor about it and he said according to the Bible it's OK for me to be with him but if he were me he would not get into it because it's a fragile situation. I really like this guy. We have been together for about three months and I have never felt this way before about anyone like I do for him. Please give me some advice because I don't want to hurt my mom at the same time I don't just want to make her happy and me miserable. I feel like I have to hide him now and secretly date him.
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Ultra Member
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May 10, 2010, 09:40 AM
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Since it is unlikely that your mother is going to change her mind anytime soon I would continue to do what makes you happy and perhaps in time when she sees you are truly committed to this man she will come around.
I would not hide this as you are of age to do as you please and if you do make an error in judgment,you are the one who has to pay the price,not your mother.
Your mother wants you to have an ideal relationship and while she may be using a Christian argument here,I suspect his age and the fact that he has children already may be playing a part in her decision.
You owe your mother a debt of gratitude for being a good mother but you do not owe her your life.
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Family & People Expert
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May 10, 2010, 10:42 AM
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A divorced person does come with a lot of baggage.
But regardless of all the obstacles that you have listed, it's still only been 3 months.
Before making a more serious commitment together, focus on getting to know each other better and seeing how the relationship develops.
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Ultra Member
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May 10, 2010, 11:50 AM
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In agree with the others.
It is after all you life, your not breaking any laws moral or other wise. Also you are at an age where you can do what you like. If you want to continue seeing him I think you should. And like I wish said, its only been 3 months so continue seeing him if that's what YOU want to do and keep on getting to know him and so on...
I do sympathies with the fact that you might be un comfterble in doing so because of your moms disapproval, but even though she is your mom and she seems to be very important to you, she can't live your life for you. That part you have to do yourself...
Hope this was helpful
Best wishes
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Ultra Member
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May 11, 2010, 09:28 PM
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I agree with everyone else , but I really think the bottom line is it's your life and you take responsibility for your feelings and actions , good and bad. Geez it's not like you're a Teen anymore :rolleyes:
I understand your mother only has your best interests at heart , but if this guy turns out to be the one I'm sure she'll come around.
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Expert
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May 14, 2010, 04:43 PM
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You can do your thing, but still respect your mom, just don't get carried away by those intense feelings and take the time to know the guy well, and 3 months isn't that long at all.
Its your life so live it right.
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