[Bluerose]

ScottGem,

Help! I'm not trying to start a fight honest... But...

Could it have something to do with me being in the UK?

What you call giving judgement, I call giving my opinion. Your making a judgment, I'm making a decision.

Reminds me of that song..

You say eether and I say eyether,
You say neether and I say nyther;
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther,
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like potato and I like potahto,
You like tomato and I like tomahto;
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!
Let's call the whole thing off!


I'm no saint... I am quite selective about who I spend my time with. But it is based on decisions I made not a judgment.

On here I'm giving my opinion based on the post I read. If I were to make judgments I don't think I could do this.

It might be a simple matter of terminology, and we should just agree to disagree.

You are not wrong. And nor am I. I think we are both correct, we are just coming from different directions.

But I will give it some more thought.

[JoeCanada76]

Bluerose,

Why would you ever think that you do not belong? We are all part of a growing family here. We all have different opinions, different thoughts and different ways of handling posters. Different way of answering questions. Lots of us show our personality in our posts. There is nothing wrong with this. We all learn from each other. I enjoy your answers, your posts and I doubt that anybody or everybody will agree on everything. That is why we have discussions. Like this one we are having now. It is a good thing. A positive step.

(:

Joe

[Bluerose]

Thanks for that. I do understand, honest.

Rose

[Miss Lewis]

I'm not a religious person but I can 'remember' this:
"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

Happy Holidays to everyone & lets hope it snows in good old Blighty this year!

Emma.

[ScottGem]

I think you are right that this may be a difference in cultural semantics. But I still think you are looking at this somewhat askew. I think what you want to say is to not be critical of people because of their choices, lest they be critical of your choices. While I don't disagree with that, I don't think it applies very much here.

That people come here asking us to judge their choices. A large percentage of the questions, especially in the Relationship categories are about that.

If a 14 year old asks whether she should have sex with her boyfriend the vast majority of responses will say to wait. Aren't we making a judgement about premarital sex in that case? If a wife asks whether she should forgive a cheating husband, aren't we being asked to make jufge her in giving advice?
If someone asks how to hack Yahoo or download free music, aren't we judging them when we tell them that that's illegal?

We do need to treat each instance individually. We should try to be as courteous as possible with each answer. We should try to present choices and let the asker make their own choice. But sometimes we have to tell the kid who wants to get past their school's firewall to play Runescape that he's being stupid to try.

And I repeat what I said before. I am comfortable with making judgements because I'm not afraid to be judged. That's because I'm careful that I make judgements I can support.

P.S. I know you aren't trying to start a fight. We are just discussing an issue.

[excon]

Hello:

I do my share of judging...

On the legal boards, we're often times asked whether somebody has to repay a debt because the statute of limitations might have run out. Like any legal question, I SHOULD address the issue of the statute of limitations... But, NO. I've got to tell the person that I think they're a flake. I just do. Scott does too. What's wrong with that? They ARE flakes!

I remember a question I received on askme.com. Boy, do I remember this question. A guy said that his 12 year old daughter came on to him, because his wife told her to, so he just HAD to screw her. No, I did not give him nice legal advice. I came unglued!!

I'm not a legal dictionary.

excon

[JoeCanada76]

I came unglued here on this board when somebody was talking about forcing his daughter to have an abortion and if she does not listen he was going to kick her out or beat the crap out of her.

The same guy posted on another post how can he get his daughter to listen, everybody was talking about boot camp meanwhile this girl is pregnant and he failed to mention this on this post. I put the two posts together and just lost it.

I had a very strong judgement for that loser of a father.


Joe

[ScottGem]

This (the posts from excon and Joe) is exactly what I'm talking about. We can't help but judge some of these people. And if someone wants to judge me for being critical of someone who wants to weasel out of a debt they agreed to pay or pirate copyrighted material or force their kid into an abortion then I feel very comfortable in being judged for that.

[BIM]

They ARE flakes!

I remember a question I received on askme.com. Boy, do I remember this question. A guy said that his 12 year old daughter came on to him, because his wife told her to, so he just HAD to screw her. No, I did not give him nice legal advice. I came unglued!!!

excon

OMFG!! I would have to judge him also, f***ing sick bas***d.

I guess I do feel I judge and then I give my opinion.

[talaniman]

I think we all have our limits as to what is reasonable and what pushes us over the limit as even today, I reserve the right to jump down any ones throat who harms children or runs from their responsibility to them and no amount of sweet talk will change my mind so save your breathe. We all have a trigger points and it will be interesting to see some of you reach yours.

[Allheart]

LOL

Guess what, I think even good ole Allheart has a trigger point... sad thing is I cry!!
Ooooooooh how I hate that about me... LOL

Tal, you are right, we all have that button that gets pushed.

Merry Merry everyone :)

[JoeCanada76]

Merry Christmas Allheart and to everyone on these boards.

(;

[manimuth]

As a new member, this discussion proves why I love this place! There is such wonderful diversity of personalities, angles, and opinions, and mutual respect for the diversity. Thank you all for giving your time and 2 cents like you do. I hope to get to know you and hopefully be accepted into your community. See you around!

[wizzkid89]

See scott, tal, exon, and joe are proving exactly what I mentioned in the first place. As a human being it is impossible not to judge, the only thing we can do is to not voice our judgments. And no I don't believe they should be considered opinions, however it depends on the definition over in england and I get that some of this might be lost in translation. Eitherway, I don't think judgement gets passed down just to the negative people on here, it also goes to the people doing good things on here, and trying to better themselves. I say this because, everybody judges everybody, not just the psychos, the rapists, the abusers, the cheaters get judged, so does the church goers, the single mom raising her kids alone, the sweet lady from across the pond who happens to like roses ;) get's judged. And I am sure that I do as well... I just think it needs to be stated that everyone gets judged not just those who do harm to others...

[Bluerose]

Scott, excon, Joe, and wizzkid89, you all make a very good argument. And I have to admit that posts about kids in pain and 'flaky abusive' dads really hit a raw nerve. I thinking I'll give you that one Scott. You all made some very, very good points.

From the wee Scottish woman from across the pond who loves roses. Lol
Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

Rose xx

manimuth,

Welcome to AMHD.

And thank you for those words of support for us all, you are very kind. I'm quite new myself and these lovely people are very helpful and patient with me and my daft questions. You will feel right at home here.