Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    acuario22's Avatar
    acuario22 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 3, 2010, 07:38 PM
    What to do
    Hi I'm really worry please help me I have been married for 4 years I have a 3 year son and I'm 22 years old every 2 to 33 days I check my computers history and I saw that my husband is watching porn sites I don't know what to do what should I do I already tell him that I don't like him watching does things it make me feel ugly and unconfortable and I saw that he is looking does pages again what should I do please help
    acuario22's Avatar
    acuario22 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    May 3, 2010, 07:52 PM
    My husband is watching porn
    Hi my husband is watching porn we have been married for 4 years I'm 22 years so is he I don't know what to do it make me feel unconfortable like I'm not sexy or things like that I already tell him that I don't liked and he tell me that he wound doet again and a week later he is watching this things again what should I do
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 3, 2010, 07:54 PM

    Did he say he was going to stop or what? I mean for me, porn isn't a huge issue, but if it was discussed and agreed upon I can see how you would be hurt
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #4

    May 3, 2010, 09:55 PM

    Get over the fact that porn isn't about YOU?

    Do you read romances? Watch chick flicks? Do you expect your guy to be just like the heroes in those? What about Disney movies--do you expect your guy to be Prince Charming?

    Porn is the male equivalent of female love stories. Period. As long as he isn't NEGLECTING you--what's the problem?

    This is a self-confidence problem on YOUR part--not a porn problem on HIS part.

    Although--the lying has to stop. Maybe you could work on communicating with each other about wants and needs, and stop making him feel like he HAS to lie about it to make you happy?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    May 3, 2010, 10:19 PM

    First, you don't need to post your question twice. Just pick the best forum to post in and then wait, someone will come along to answer as soon as they can.

    So you talked to him about it. What did he say? Did you demand that he stop?

    You need to talk to each other about this. You also have to realize that unless he's watching porn 24/7, it's really not a big deal.

    Why does it make you feel ugly? Is he ignoring you? Is this effecting your love life?

    Talk. Communication is the only way to make a relationship work. Don't be accusatory, don't demand that he stop, but let him know that you're not comfortable with this and then come to a solution. Maybe watch porn together, it can be a lot of fun.

    Good luck.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    May 3, 2010, 10:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    Get over the fact that porn isn't about YOU?

    Do you read romances? Watch chick flicks? Do you expect your guy to be just like the heroes in those? What about Disney movies--do you expect your guy to be Prince Charming?

    Porn is the male equivalent of female love stories. Period. As long as he isn't NEGLECTING you--what's the problem?

    This is a self-confidence problem on YOUR part--not a porn problem on HIS part.

    Although--the lying has to stop. Maybe you could work on communicating with each other about wants and needs, and stop making him feel like he HAS to lie about it to make you happy?
    I would like to add, that. He is at home with you. Whether looking at porn or not. The fact is he is married to you and he is at home with you. I agree with others as long as he is not neglecting you then there is not really an issue.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #7

    May 3, 2010, 11:35 PM
    Him looking at porn bothers you, and that is the point. If it bothers you to a point where you are feeling the way you do, then he should stop. Simple.

    It is all to easy in my opinion to say porn is not harmful, but the only person who benefits is the one interested in it, at the feelings of their partner.

    It puts a very personal wedge in the marriage.

    You cannot be faulted for the way you feel, nor can you be blamed for not just being 'understanding'.

    If he is doing the porn thing on a regular basis, and he is involved in porn sites that require membership, and he's on interractive sites using webcams etc. then indeed it is a problem.

    To what extent does he engage in porn activities, and why is he hiding this, and lying about it.

    Those three factors alone would cause me concern also.

    See if you can talk to him about this and gain some insight and answers.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.



View more questions Search