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    purplemist's Avatar
    purplemist Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 27, 2010, 10:23 PM
    Sleazy Cousin
    Hi, I had a bet with my cousin over some sports tournament, and the wager was that whoever wins can ask anything from the other (pin to plane). He is married and has a kid as well. He won the bet and when I asked him what does he want, he said he wanted a french kiss from me. Probably he would have asked me to sleep as well with him. I think he crossed the line of a brother sister relationship. Please help me and guide me as to how I should deal with the whole situation. Also, I cannot avoid him completely, though I want to.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Apr 27, 2010, 10:32 PM

    Just tell him that his request is highly inappropriate, that he's crossing a line because you're cousins and you think of him as a brother.

    Or you could make a joke out of it, say "Ya right. Why would you want to kiss someone that's like a sister to you. That's just gross. Now tell me what you really want". This will give him a way to save face but still let him know that you're not okay with it.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #3

    Apr 27, 2010, 10:43 PM
    Perhaps just laugh and ask him what his wife would think of him french kissing you? Say you'll only do it if she agrees and she's watching. (Hopefully they're not into threesomes!)

    Seriously, just say you don't want to do it and next time you'd prefer not to have any bets with him unless he keeps it clean. You can do it nicely - just smile a lot when you say it.
    purplemist's Avatar
    purplemist Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 27, 2010, 10:48 PM

    I have already told him that its absolutely inappropriate for me to even think of doing this. But he keeps on provoking me saying I do not have the guts to do something like this. Also, please tell me how to avoid him at family gatherings, because I am sure he would again taunt me.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #5

    Apr 27, 2010, 11:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by purplemist View Post
    I have already told him that its absolutely inappropriate for me to even think of doing this. But he keeps on provoking me saying I do not have the guts to do something like this. Also, please tell me how to avoid him at family gatherings, because I am sure he would again taunt me.
    Well tell him that's correct , and you don't intend to change your mind.

    If he comes near you again tell him to get a testicle protector , because he's going to need it next time he does.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #6

    Apr 27, 2010, 11:38 PM

    Guts?

    I would tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone-or you'll be taunting him!

    At family gatherings,stay busy talking to everbody but him.

    What a complete jerk!
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #7

    Apr 27, 2010, 11:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by purplemist View Post
    I have already told him that its absolutely inappropriate for me to even think of doing this. But he keeps on provoking me saying I do not have the guts to do something like this. Also, please tell me how to avoid him at family gatherings, because I am sure he would again taunt me.
    Well in that case, say that you'd be happy to discuss the issue of your 'guts' with his wife.

    This is sexual harassment, I suggest you let someone else in the family know what's happening - to protect yourself from any spurious claims he may make when you continue to reject him.

    If he taunts you at family gatherings - perhaps say in a very loud voice - ".. [name inserted] wants to french kiss me - eeeew, can someone please tell him it's gross... "
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Apr 28, 2010, 10:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini54 View Post
    Well in that case, say that you'd be happy to discuss the issue of your 'guts' with his wife.

    This is sexual harassment, I suggest you let someone else in the family know what's happening - to protect yourself from any spurious claims he may make when you continue to reject him.

    If he taunts you at family gatherings - perhaps say in a very loud voice - " ..[name inserted] wants to french kiss me - eeeew, can someone please tell him it's gross...."

    I have always found that after I have told someone politely that I am not interested that screaming "You want to do WHAT?" when we are in the presence of other people ends the discussion.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
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    #9

    May 2, 2010, 07:04 PM

    Although his actions and request are disgusting and totally inappropriate, I have to ask... Who's idea was it for the wager? And if it was yours what were you hoping to find out, and why did it have to be a wager in a bet? If he was like a brother to you, why not just ask him?

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