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Jinx5934 · May 1, 2010, 04:11 PM

Hi. I am 16 and at a very strange point in my life. Recently, after a nasty break up with my ex-girlfriend about 2 years ago, we have become friends again. I cannot be 100% sure if I am just longing for a girlfriend as I feel lonely at the moment, or I am genuinely falling for her again. Problem is that 1 month after we broke up, she got a new boyfriend, and in all honesty, it really seemed like a rebound relationship for her. They are always arguing and he treats her badly. I am doubtful that she likes me in the way that I like her, but what can I do? As I have said my thoughts are very muddled at this point, with exams coming up very soon and these inconvenient feelings popping up all of a sudden. I am not sure how long my ex and her new boyfriend will last. Sorry if this sounds really muddled, but I really don't know how to phrase things at the moment. I don't even know if I love her again! :S Somebody, please help!

talaniman · May 1, 2010, 05:31 PM

Maybe your feelings will never go away, until you are doing something else, but since the ex is taken, you simply leave her alone, and get your thoughts under control, and take no action, whether you agree with her choice of guys or not.

I think you worry more about what your doing and who you do it with than her and who she is with.

Could you be a bit jealous, because of some old left over feelings? Sounds like it.

As I remember, being 16 means you are bombarded by weird intense feelings all the time, so I think you're pretty normal for your age. You just have to learn to cope with them, and not let them cope with you.

Jinx5934 · May 2, 2010, 01:44 AM

Thank you. It's so strange, last night I was very confused about the way I felt and I literally woke up half an hour ago and now I feel nothing for her! :S

alesha8781 · May 2, 2010, 06:20 PM

Tal is right. Sixteen in the dictionary should be defined simply "intense feelings." What was the reason the two of you split in the first place? For example, when you are older, people break up for many reasons, money, cheating, just too busy for a relationship etc. But when I was 16, which wasn't that long ago, any time I broke up with someone it usually boiled down to the fact that we just clashed and couldn't get along. Chances are, you broke up for a good reason and that neither of you have changed much. If you got back together, it might be the same thing all over again.

What you are feeling probably has more to do with she is with someone, and you are not, and inside you feel that you need to take her away from him just because of that. So proceed with caution.

Honestly, if it didn't work the first time, it probably won't the second time so I suggest you spend time with yourself, figuring out what makes you happy and enjoying hanging out with your friends. The better you get to know yourself, the more you understand what type of person you would want to be with and the more likely you are to have a successful relationship