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arle · May 1, 2010, 10:52 AM

So I had plans to meet this girl for lunch (first date). When I spoke to her, I told her Saturday @ 1:00 pm and that I would text her the location. I texted her the location the day before, but she didn't reply.

Today, I called her to let her know that I was on my way and she didn't pick up. I called her again and left her a voicemail saying that if she wasn't going to make it, to let me know because I have other things to do.

She just texted me saying that she didn't think we had a set time and then texted me 5 min after that saying that she just found my text message and was really sorry and hoped that she didn't ruin my day..

I am willing to give her one more chance but Im not sure how to reply to this. I was thinking something along the lines of "No worries, you didnt ruin my day. I dont have any tolerance for flakiness. If you can't make it just call so that I can make plans with someone else.."

Any thoughts?

roxypox · May 1, 2010, 11:32 AM

Don't give her a second chance!

I'm serious about that... that type of behavior isn't promising at all! It's a good thing that you told he you have no tolerance for flakiness though! Cause dude...

Also I don't know if this is a typical thing for a date, but maybe next time you have a first date you should have time + place settled in advanced...

As for this girl in particluar... I would forget about it! Of course one could argue that she was busy, she was doing things of importants.. who knows.. but my impression of behaviour like this is that she isn't really that interessted also she doesn't respect other peoples time.

jmjoseph · May 1, 2010, 11:39 AM

Stop texting women to ask them out, or to set up a time to meet. If you want to talk to a girl, have the respect that they deserve, and actually communicate with them. If you cannot talk to them face to face, call them and interact with them.

This sounds like just a breakdown of communication. Next time be a little more considerate before you start calling her names.

Sorry, but I'm old school.

arle · May 1, 2010, 11:41 AM

I called her to make plans on Saturday and told her I would text her the address which I did the following day.

I haven't replied to her yet and not sure if I should even show that I'm upset.

roxypox · May 1, 2010, 11:51 AM

Yeah, I don't think you should.

But that's just me.. I wouldn't respond. I'd just delete the number and call it a day...

talaniman · May 1, 2010, 12:03 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...er-465505.html

You seem to be having a hard time dating since your break up,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ve-441911.html

Hey guy, I will just tell you that when there is a glitch with hooking up with a strange new person, be very willing to drop them, and move to the next option rather quickly, and don't look back, because whatever the issue is, its not yours unless you make it so.

Further, I much prefer plans in person, or over the phone, and never get mad because they get screwed up because there is always a plan B, and if you don't hear back from them in good time, plan B for sure, and you let them find you after that.

Why even waste time, effort, or emotions on someone else when you could be doing your thing, and having fun elsewhere with someone else??

arle · May 1, 2010, 12:10 PM

Haha Talaniman, thank you for announcing that my dating game is broke. I haven't had problem getting girls but this one is very good looking (and Im very picky too). But you're right, personality comes first and we should learn to drop them if they don't fit our standards. It is a big red flag but Im a bit torn if I should give her one more chance since she apologized.

talaniman · May 1, 2010, 12:24 PM

Its only a date, why make it so difficult, and always keep plan B handy.

Talaniman Rule- Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind cripple or crazy.

The idea is to have a great time, and enjoy getting know someone. Not interview them for future romance. Or start some kind of exclusive commitment. Come on, even if one lousy date is good, doesn't mean there will be a future, so stop looking and stop being so picky. That narrows your options, and keeps the mind closed to new ideas.

Jake2008 · May 1, 2010, 12:45 PM

IF she is telling the truth, and you prematurely let her go without trying again, you could miss out on getting to know a really good person.

I think you should try again before your imagination and judgment take over and she's labelled a flake.

Wondergirl · May 1, 2010, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by arle

(and Im very picky too)

Remember -- girls are very picky too.

There's an old joke: I finally found the perfect girl, but she cast me aside because she was looking for the perfect guy.

arle · May 1, 2010, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

IF she is telling the truth, and you prematurely let her go without trying again, you could miss out on getting to know a really good person.

I think you should try again before your imagination and judgment take over and she's labelled a flake.

Hmm, but don't you think that if she was really sincere, she would have picked up the phone to apologize instead of txting? I called her twice and left her a voicemail to call me back if she wasn't able to make it because I had other things to do. She sent me a simple text to apologize which doesn't seem really sincere to me.

Wondergirl · May 1, 2010, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by arle

Hmm, but dont you think that if she was really sincere, she would have picked up the phone to apologize instead of txting? I called her twice and left her a voicemail to call me back if she wasn't able to make it because I had other things to do. She sent me a simple text to apologize which doesn't seem really sincere to me.

So she really did ruin your day?

arle · May 1, 2010, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So she really did ruin your day?

Although I was excited to get to know her a bit better, she did not ruin my day.. I want to educate myself so that I handle this the right way.

jmjoseph · May 1, 2010, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by arle

haha Talaniman, thank you for announcing that my dating game is broke. I haven't had problem getting girls but this one is very good looking (and Im very picky too). But you're right, personality comes first and we should learn to drop them if they don't fit our standards. It is a big red flag but Im a bit torn if I should give her one more chance since she apologized.

This sure sounds cocky.

"I'm very picky"... "getting girls"... "drop them"... "fit our standards"... "

And the one I like the best is ..."give her one more chance".

How do you know that it isn't HER giving YOU another chance.

Always be respectful of women. One day YOU might have a little girl, and how would you want her to be treated?