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dawglb3219 · Apr 30, 2010, 01:59 PM

I have a guy friend that is eighteen. I want to ask him to hang out, and I have finally gained the confidence to do so. But my mother is getting on my nerves, and is telling me that it would be inappropriate for the girl to ask him out. But when I say ask him out, I meen just as friends, and that is it. Nothing more, nothing less. But When I asked for her permission to ask him out, she said it would turn him off and it would be gross. But I don't see how? I'm 15, and we have been friends for a while, talking on the phone and all of that. I harly ever see him in person though because we go to different schools and we live far away from each other. I need to know, would it be inappropriate to ask the guy out? I have never done this before, and my mother is being very discouraging.

Eileen G · Apr 30, 2010, 02:02 PM

Of course it's not inappropriate. If you are asking him out as friend, just make sure the venue you choose is suitable, cheerful rather than romantic.

And he will love it. It's really hard for guys always having to be the ones to put themselves out there, they love having a girl ask them out, even if it's just to pizza and bowling.

I've always believed that it's best to be friends with someone before you start dating.

dawglb3219 · Apr 30, 2010, 02:20 PM

Really? Thank you by the way. What are cheerful places rather than romantic places? Because I was going to go see something along the line of "Clash of the Titans" or "The Losers" Nothing romantic, an action film actually.

Eileen G · Apr 30, 2010, 02:34 PM

Bowling is the obvious one, or a SF or comedy film, or just out for a pizza.

justcurious55 · Apr 30, 2010, 03:24 PM

Usually, when you use the term "ask out", it implies a date. So, in this case, considering your ages, I believe it would be entirely inappropriate simply because he has no business dating a 15 year old. If you're really just going to go out as friends and nothing more, then it shouldn't be a big deal at all and I don't see why you would need to work up your nerve. So what are you really asking- if its OK to ask him on a date or is it OK to invite him out as a friend?

dawglb3219 · Apr 30, 2010, 07:17 PM

If it's okay to ask him out as a friend. If it's okay that girl asks out. I don't know why my mom see's it as inappropriate, but she got me paranoid. She wants me to play "hard to get" even with friends. And the deal with me having to work up my nerve to do this is because I am EXTREMELY shy. I never evens ask my girlfriends to do something I'm just that shy. But I guess I got a little confident today and I asked two people to do something (both of which are girls).

justcurious55 · Apr 30, 2010, 07:21 PM

As long as its strictly friends, then I agree with eileen, nothing wrong with the girl doing the asking. Maybe your mom is old fashioned? I prefer to be asked out and many women (and men) still expect that men will do the asking. But there's nothing wrong with a girl asking. The problem with playing hard to get is that it you don't do it just right you become way too hard to get and people lose interest trying to get you.