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bordo3k · Apr 28, 2010, 08:04 PM

So I've been talking to this girl for a little over a month now. We hit it off the first night we met and then saw each other the following two Saturdays (she lives 35 minutes away and does not have a car at the moment). We text and talk every day but trying to make plans with her can be like pulling teeth. She always texts me with messages like "I'm so glad I met you" and "I can really see myself with you." I even put my foot down and told her I was no longer interested because I wanted someone who actually wanted to spend time with me. She then kind of freaked out and kept sending me text messages about how she wants to take things slow and that she likes me so much and that she really wants to be with me at some point. Eventually she wore me down and got back in my good graces and we hung out once again last weekend and it went great. Now It seems like we like each other even more, and the text messages have gotten even sweeter, but still it seems like there are no future plans on the horizon, no matter how much she texts me with "I can't wait to see you again." Obviously it's pretty easy for her to wait. I just feel that if two people like each other on the level we seem to like each other, those two people would want to put aside at least a little sliver of time for each other every week. Here's the kicker. She has a lot of money and lives pretty fast. She re-confirmed it this last weekend that we do have something and that she truly is interested, but why wouldn't she have the urge to see me at least once a week? I'm all right with taking it slow and not rushing- in fact I think all relationships should start with only seeing each once or twice a week- things seem to usually work out better when you start at a turtle's pace, but this snail's pace that me and her are going at is too stressful for me. Does any of this sound worth the wait?

sabrewolfe · Apr 28, 2010, 08:58 PM

Worth the wait? I think that's a question only you can answer.
If you decide she is, then I would suggest not getting frustrated and a little less anxious.
If not, then maybe it's time to cut her loose and see other people who can give you more of their time.

talaniman · Apr 29, 2010, 04:03 PM

After only a month?? You barely can spell her name, let alone understand, or know who you are dealing with.

Much to soon to be thinking the whole world revolves around her, so text, or no, just keep enjoying your own life, and if she is at all interested she will do more than just text sweet nothings.

Do people ever just talk on the phone, as they get to know each other?? Just me, I like the idea of just talking texting and getting together when you can, as I see no reason to rush into anything with a stranger, just enjoy getting to know each other with no strings attached.

That way if things don't get better, you haven't invested your heart so soon.

Devorameira · Apr 29, 2010, 04:26 PM

You are wanting to move WAY too fast.

If you really care about this girl, you need to slow it down before you run her off.

If you are truly interested, listen to what she's telling you. If you feel like you can't go at her pace, then I'd suggest that you move on.

Gemini54 · Apr 29, 2010, 09:57 PM

Geez, you've only known her a month.

If you like her, then accept that you have to take it slowly.

There is nothing worse that a guy that comes on too strong and makes demands. 'Putting your foot down' and laying down the law about how often you should see each other after just a month makes you sound like a control freak.

aimee_tt · Apr 29, 2010, 10:48 PM

I did the same thing with my boyfriend. I didn't have a car so I couldn't go see him. But my mum wouldn't allow me to catch public transport to see him or walk to see him. (she has safety issues) So he would have to come see me and it was like once a week for the two month. It used to drive him insane and he nearly broke up with me. As he didn't like how he was the only one to make an effort. I told him how I felt and that things would get better if he gave me a chance. Things didn't go right all the time and we did fight a lot but neither of us could let go.

Almost three years later were still together.

You just need to decide for yourself. Is she worth it? Can you see this going anywhere?

If you can't then stop it now you'll only cause yourself pain.

But if you can give it a go. If it works out then great if not then you gave it a try.

I wish · Apr 30, 2010, 09:11 AM

Slow down buddy. There's no reason to rush. As long as she's willing to keep in contact with you, you can be sure that she's interested.

Focus on enjoying the time that you do spend together. Focus on having enjoyable conversations. Keep sending the fun texts. Let things flow naturally. Don't force the issue.

If you can't be a little patient with her, then you don't really like her. Respect her wishes for the pace and enjoy the process.

bordo3k · May 4, 2010, 11:42 PM

A lot of really good insight here. Thank you everybody. Well, I've been playing it cool and decided to let things flow naturally and she seems to be coming around. Apparently she likes me a lot more than I thought, but still agreeing with her that slow and steady is the way to go. We'll see how things work out. If all goes well then great, if not then that's life. Thanks again everyone!