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    hungtoronto's Avatar
    hungtoronto Posts: 162, Reputation: 34
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Apr 28, 2010, 03:10 PM
    Class Assignment - this is hilarious
    Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment:

    The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.

    As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
    to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

    Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

    Rebecca (PINK)
    Bill (BLUE).

    THE STORY:

    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
    Chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
    Reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
    Liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off
    Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too
    Much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the
    Question.

    (second paragraph by Bill )

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
    In orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
    Neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
    Spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
    Said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign
    of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
    Flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
    Jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
    Cockpit.

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
    Last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
    Had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
    Hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
    Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
    One morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
    Out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
    And carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from
    Her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
    must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    ( Bill )

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
    Miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
    Lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
    Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth
    A defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
    Destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
    Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
    Pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
    Initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
    Atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
    Headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam , felt the
    Inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
    Partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

    ( Bill )

    Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
    Attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I
    have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no,
    what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
    Steele novels!"

    (Rebecca)

    A$$h@le.

    ( Bill )

    B*tch!

    (Rebecca)

    F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

    ( Bill )

    In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.



    (TEACHER)

    A+ - I really liked this one.
    sabrewolfe's Avatar
    sabrewolfe Posts: 420, Reputation: 96
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Apr 28, 2010, 03:17 PM

    Totally awesome!
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 28, 2010, 05:10 PM

    I liked it too... But I would have given it a B... as I don't think a conclusion was reached but both parties... Lol!
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Apr 28, 2010, 06:10 PM

    That was good !
    hheath541's Avatar
    hheath541 Posts: 2,762, Reputation: 584
    Experts
     
    #5

    May 10, 2010, 05:48 PM

    Me likeys.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    May 12, 2010, 04:23 PM

    Hilarious. I guess Rebecca and Bill duked it out in class over this one.

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