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lelly_tots · Apr 27, 2010, 05:29 AM

OK.. so I'm a girl and have always liked guys but I have been having these feelings for my best friend for about two years.. ive been denying that they are for her but I can't help what I'm feeling anymore.. As far as I know she's straight but sometimes I get the impression that maybe she's not. The way we might stare at each other that little bit longer then maybe should be. I also started liking this guy but turned out he likes her and she seems to like him too so seeing them together really is hurting me I've tld her how I've felt about him well before she ever felt anything for him so she knows that but I get angry when she tells me she is going to spend time with him and I'm confused as to whether I'm hurting because I want him or.. if it's that I'm wanting her... any advice would be great please! Help!! :(

talaniman · Apr 27, 2010, 06:09 AM

Are you bi? Its tough when you are double jealous. But I think you back away from them both, and broaden your social circle for the sake of coping with whatever your feeling.

lelly_tots · Apr 27, 2010, 08:18 AM

I don't know... I never had these feelings for another girl before... myself and my best friend spend so much time together because we are in college together and both have the same interests sport wise and subject wise in college. Our timetable is the same so its hard to get away from her. I have plenty of friends I'm a very outgoing person.Just very confused now that I think I'm admitting my feelings. I don't wan2 feel like this cause I know I would never settle down with a girl it just wouldn't work for me. Thank you for your advice.:)

Devorameira · Apr 27, 2010, 09:41 AM

I agree with Tal. Just forget about having a romantic relationship with either one of them.

talaniman · Apr 27, 2010, 10:34 AM

our timetable is the same so its hard to get away from her.

Shake up your time table, and enjoy being the outgoing person that you are. You need a better balance of friends and more variety in your life.

That will keep a best friend from being jealous when their best friend has a boyfriend to keep happy.

I wish · Apr 27, 2010, 11:08 AM

I think that you're still learning new things about yourself that aren't quite clear yet.

So instead of rushing something with her, take the time to explore these new feelings and emotions that have developed. Once you answer your own personal questions, you will be a better position to figure out what to do next.

hheath541 · Apr 27, 2010, 11:19 AM

I've been in your shoes. I told her how I felt, we set up a date, she backed out. Now she's marrying my ex, and I couldn't be happier for her.

It's hard. Really hard. The easiest way to get through it is to decide to be happy for her. If she's happy, then you're happy, regardless of who she's with.

As for telling her, that's up to you. Do you think your friendship will be able to handle it? Is it something you know you have to do, or it'll drive you crazy?

If you really don't think you could have a long-term relationship with another girl, then I would suggest not pursuing anything. You don't want to lose your friendship over a fling.

lelly_tots · Jul 26, 2010, 06:12 PM

Hi again, I haven't had a laptop for a while. All I've managed to tell her is that I think I may be bi, she took it well and said to me not to worry that its not wrong and is OK. I haven't built up the courage of how I feel about her. Im not attracted to any other woman but when I see attractive men I still have the same feelings towards them. Its just with her Ive built up these strong feelings and want to be around her all the time.. and miss her even when we've only seen each other and have just gone home. She is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last at night. My feelings have just gone further for her. Is it possible to just feel this way once about another girl but still continue to find men attractive but not other women??

I wish · Jul 26, 2010, 09:27 PM

Your feelings have obviously changed somewhat over time, but it's still not clear yet. Give it more time. Let your feelings develop naturally. With time, it will be more clear.

Continue to interact with her and interact with other people as well. The more experience you have with social interactions, the more you will learn about yourself.

talaniman · Jul 27, 2010, 11:31 AM

Its not unheard of to be attracted strongly to one person of the same sex. Maybe it goes beyond just sex, but you can't tell because the feelings are very intense. Time will tell, so be patient, and don't go overboard until you do know what your feelings are about.

lelly_tots · Aug 31, 2010, 04:01 PM

I don't feel its about sex really at all. I truly care for her... but its something I don't think would be right to tell her.. it could affect the friendship we have and I don't think I wan2 take that risk really. It's a tough one but I guess I'll have to deal with it... right?