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    MusicLover27's Avatar
    MusicLover27 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:09 PM
    Should I contact my ex after 3 years?
    Hi, I was just wondering if I should contact my ex after 3 years? Long story short, she was my best friend for like 2 years then we decided to get into a relationship, after 1 year she cheated on me with another guy and dumped me.

    Immediately, I proceeded with NC and I did not talk to her 3 years now. I have no intentions of getting back with her and in fact I feel like I deserve better. However, recently after so long, she started calling me the last few days of which I did not answer because I didn't want to talk to her.

    Now I am debating whether to contact her. I can say I am completely over her and I am happy with where I am in life right now. Should I contact her?

    I don't think I want to be her friend. But ever since me and her broke up I haven't had a serious relationship, perhaps I have not had proper closure. I just disappeared from her life the day I found out she cheated on me even though she tried contacting me a few times. :confused:
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #2

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:21 PM

    Leave her alone...
    tomjj's Avatar
    tomjj Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:22 PM

    Closure is a nice thing.
    If you want to get some things off your chest and also feel like her power over you is over, have a chat. Find a way to move on. Since you are sensitive, maybe keep in mind that the call should not go too long and feel like a date call, but rather one you end when you wish. You can walk away from her. She probably feels some things she wants to get off her chest too.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #4

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:49 PM


    NO:eek::rolleyes:
    Not worth it:)
    Lucky098's Avatar
    Lucky098 Posts: 2,594, Reputation: 543
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    #5

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:53 PM

    She's more than likely contacting you because she wants to rekindle whatever relationship you once had again.

    After intimacy, its hard to be "just friends" again. I would say leave this wound wrapped up and don't reopen it. Talking to her may make you spiral backwards.

    But in the end, its all in what you feel comfortable doing. If you want to talk to her, talk about what happened, its completely up to you. If you feel that talking with her and go onto talking terms is good closure for you, then by all means... but please keep in mind, she broke your heart. Are you going to let her do it again?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #6

    Apr 15, 2010, 10:36 PM

    Ignore,ignore and ignore.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    Apr 16, 2010, 05:11 AM

    Just continue to ignore her, unless you want to open up that can of worms again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Apr 16, 2010, 08:36 AM

    It didn't work before, and friendship, or any other contact with someone that treated you like a piece of crap, AND dumped you, is just crazy.

    Don't give in to her now that you have healed, as you don't need that drama, or hurt again. Then you would have to heal twice.

    Ignore her forever. Let her find her emotional tampon elsewhere.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #9

    Apr 16, 2010, 12:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    It didn't work before, and friendship, or any other contact with someone that treated you like a piece of crap, AND dumped you, is just crazy.

    Don't give in to her now that you have healed, as you don't need that drama, or hurt again. Then you would have to heal twice.

    Ignore her forever. Let her find her emotional tampon elsewhere.
    LEAVE THE WOMAN ALONE! GROW A SET! :rolleyes:
    MusicLover27's Avatar
    MusicLover27 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 16, 2010, 07:48 PM

    Im glad I didn't contact her back. It must have been the smartest thing I did all my life! I don't know why even though I go on my life unhurt now and have moved on, once in a while I still think of her.

    Is that suppose to happen? Or does it mean I'm not over her yet? There are days or even weeks I go without thinking of her but when I come across something that reminds me of her I start to think of her.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #11

    Apr 16, 2010, 08:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MusicLover27 View Post
    Im glad i didnt contact her back. It must have been the smartest thing i did all my life!! I dont know why even though i go on my life unhurt now and have moved on, once in a while i still think of her.

    Is that suppose to happen? or does it mean im not over her yet? There are days or even weeks i go without thinking of her but when i come accross something that reminds me of her i start to think of her.


    Leave her alone! There is no future!!
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #12

    Apr 16, 2010, 09:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MusicLover27 View Post

    Is that suppose to happen? or does it mean im not over her yet? There are days or even weeks i go without thinking of her but when i come accross something that reminds me of her i start to think of her.
    I think about my ex-husband on occasion also, but then I slap myself and get back to a life I enjoy:)
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #13

    Apr 16, 2010, 09:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    I think about my ex-husband on occasion also, but then I slap myself and get back to a life I enjoy:)
    The woman is through with you. Stop wallowing and get on with your life!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #14

    Apr 17, 2010, 03:00 AM

    Those feelings are normal-dont dwell on them though,the past is the past.
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