[CageWalk]

Threads merged

Can anyone tell me if this is a good thing, or a bad thing?

For the past month, there's been this girl in my art history class at uni. She's by far one of the most intelligent in the class and looks like a young Mary Louise Parker.

We've caught each others glance and smiled once or twice, but never spoke despite 6 weeks of being in the same class.

Today, I ran into her on campus and we were walking towards the trams together. So I decided to say 'hey'. She said hey back, and we walk together, making small talk about assignments. Nothing special.

But then I realize I've left my books back in class. Rummaging through my bag, I mumble that I've left something behind and turn to leave.

But before I go, she suddenly blurts 'I really like your shirt. It's a favourite band of mine.'

I'm impressed and surprised. It's only a small local band without much of a following.

She then tell's me she saw them at the Red Rattler, which is a decent music venue close to where I live. It turns out we grew up in neighbouring suburbs and live in the same town.

We ended up talking about high school and I find out we both went to separate single sex schools for 'advanced kids'. For no apparent reason at all I said -

"well you must have been a high school a debater then, you just look like one.'

It was meant to be a half joke. I'm not even sure why I said it, but something about the way she spoke and held herself hinted that she was a high level public speaker. She's pretty eloquent in class discussion.

She gave me a really odd look, and even as I'm walking away she calls me back with - 'How did you know I was a debater? I only did it a few years in high school."

I shrugged, smiled and walked off.

It wasn't that I was trying to be mysterious or anything - it was just a total guess on my part. She gave me one final, very strange look.

So can someone explain what happened? Because I feel dazed as I type this on the tram home.

[NeedKarma]

Most girls want to be perceived as pretty whether they are intellectuals. There is a stereotype that really smart girls aren't pretty. By telling her that she "looks smart" she may have perceived it as being opposed to looking pretty.

[Som3Guy]

It sounds to me that she thought you had been cheking up on her. I mean like investigating everything she does , etc. Next time you see her try to tell'er it was total guess.

[CageWalk]

It sounds to me that she thought you had been cheking up on her. I mean like investigating everything she does and etc. Next time you see her try to tell'er it was total guess.

A shame if she did think I was checking up on her. I don't even know her full name or anything about her.

I should clarify that her exact words were something like - 'How did you know I did debating? I haven't done it since high school'

As for the pretty perspective, this girl exudes confidence. I don't think she'd be the type to need validation.

Any girl's perspective on this?

[Gemini54]

Sheesh.

Talk about over-analyzing things - and the two guys previous answers were weird. Just shows how little guys know about girls (no offense guys!)

Did it occur to you that she may have just been surprised at how accurate you were? It was a very good guess and very perceptive.

That's all. I'll bet you made a pretty good impression.

[Som3Guy]

Sheesh.

Talk about over-analyzing things - and the two guys previous answers were weird. Just shows how little guys know about girls (no offense guys!)

Did it occur to you that she may have just been surprised at how accurate you were? It was a very good guess and very perceptive.

That's all. I'll bet you made a pretty good impression.

Yeah I know. I suck when it comes to girls. Sorry. Tried to help though ;).

[CageWalk]

To the guys, don't fret, I'm just as lost as you are. I appreciate your perspectives either way.

Gemini54 - I've only created threads on this site 3 times. Once for advice after a break up in 2008, once after I met the prettiest girl working at a bookstore in 2009 and now.

I always remember you offering a novel perspective each time. I don't care if it's right or wrong, but you shed a new light on things.

[talaniman]

You got lucky, and piquéd her interest, and curiosity. That's great, just keep talking in a casual friendly way, and don't sweat the dazed stuff.

Connection? Maybe, but find out. Sure sounds like a good start to me.

[Chellemybelle]

Well girls make a lot of weird faces all the time, be happy you two found common grounds and just roll with the punches, I'm sure something will work out in the end. Just don't get to clinging or do anything that would fuel any ideas that she possibly couldve had about you checking up on her. Just don't get weird, haha, and be yourself. I guess that's all I can say:)

[CageWalk]

Threads merged

*********** UPDATE *****************************

A few weeks ago I asked a question about an encounter with a girl -

We had a mid-semester break and didn't have uni until last week. I ran into her as we were leaving our weekly class and asked how her break had been.

She ended up asking me to accompany her to a climate change debate which was running on campus at the time. We hung out for about an hour, just sitting and talking and not doing much. Her humour was dry and caustic in an endearing way.

I had to meet a friend so I left. She seemed a little surprised at my abrupt departure.

This week, I caught her after class. We ended up grabbing a quick coffee together. While waiting for a lift, we became so caught up in conversation that neither of us had pressed the up button for about 5 minutes.

Signs seemed to be good. Not only is she smart, she seems to really have her together.

I ended up walking her to her subway, where we once again stopped to talk in the middle of heavy thoroughfare. After several people ran into us, she said 'we really have to stop doing this.'

I told her I would be at the uni library studying on the weekend and if she'd like to come along.

She seemed really enthused about the idea and gave me her number. In fact, the last thing she said to me as she got on the train was - 'So Sunday, yes?'

I clicked my heels all the way home.

That was Wednesday. Today -friday- I thought I'd call her before I headed out to work (10am). It was to be a brief, concise call to tell her what time I would be at the library. But she didn't answer.

Anyway it's late into the evening now and no call back. Should I bother calling her again tomorrow (saturday)? Or should I just leave it be and let her call if she wants to?

She doesn't seem like the type of girl to play phone-tag.

[I wish]

No need to overanalyze everything as things. Just keep getting to know each other better, let things flow naturally and see what happens.

[talaniman]

She said Sunday, so Sunday it is.

[CageWalk]

Should I text her tonight with a short -

"1 pm, geology building?"

Or just go to the library tomorrow (I live close to campus and would study there either way) and see if she calls?

While the second option is more attractice and dignified, if she does have a good reason not to have returned the call, then could my silence be treated as blowing her off or a lack of interest?

I could really do with some girl's perspectives.

[I wish]

I see no harm in trying to confirm a time and place.

[talaniman]

Why not wait to confirm Saturday afternoon or evening, and go from there. She may have a lot planned before then so don't be pesky, eager, or impatient.

[CageWalk]

UPDATE:

I didn't end up calling her or messaging at all.

My logic was that, since I called her once Friday and already confirmed that I would see her Sunday - the onus was on her to get in touch at some point.

So I went to the library and its now 6pm sydney time. Still no response from her.

Did I do the right thing by not making any further calls?

I can only imagine that she lost interest, otherwise she would have returned the call at some point.

[talaniman]

That's the thing guy, there is no onus on her at all. Give her a call, not a text, and ask her if she forgot or not. If no response, THEN the onus will be on her, as you go about your business, and do your thing, and bother her no more. If she has interest she will let you know. If not, don't trip, you have no clue what's going on in her life, or what's on her mind, so you worry about neither.

You just focus elsewhere, and don't trip off a broken date. You will have tried, but without success. Move beyond it.

A date that does not come about, is hardly the end of the world. Nor something to dwell on.

[CageWalk]

For the past couple of weeks, I've been playing cat and mouse with a particular girl.

So far we’ve been on 3 spontaneous ‘mini-dates’ and one proper date.
The mini-dates may not even be counted as dates. We attend college at an inner-city art school so it was just window-shopping and coffee after class for an hour or two over the past 2-3 weeks.

So far, our only proper date was this Wednesday. She’s very reserved and poised. I should add that I’ve had several indicators of interest from this girl but she is tightly composed and difficult to read.

However, comfort began to escalate during that ‘proper’ date. We ended up going for a long walk. I never told her where we were going. She didn't ask or seem to mind.

However, for the next 2 weeks, she told me she will be swamped with exams.

After our date wed, she emailed me on Thursday with some exam notes. In the email she said - "my computer has the flu. If these files don't open then i can arrange some other way of getting them to you. like bound into a book."

Idiot that I am, I gave her a non-commital reply and since I'm also moving this weekend, I haven't spoken to her since.

In retrospect, I'm wondering if she is suggesting we meet up again soon, despite how busy she told me she was. Her joke about binding the notes was in reference to me teasing her about how she gets all her essays professionally bound before handing them in.

Or maybe it was just some throwaway line? I need a girls perspective on this since my logical guy mind says "she said she is busy. anything else she says is just confusing"

[Wondergirl]

Or maybe it was just some throwaway line? I need a girls perspective on this since my logical guy mind says "she said she is busy. anything else she says is just confusing"

We women are never confused. She was being deep.

[CageWalk]

I'm not saying she's confused. But I sure am.