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lostNTexas · Apr 13, 2010, 04:39 PM

My husband is 54 and I am 45. We had a very active (one or twice a day sex life) for about 5 years. A few years ago, I found out he had been taking Cialis. He was not inclined to share this information, and lied about it quite a bit. He now admits that he needs the meds, but his sex drive is way, way, way down. He doesn't seem even the least bit interested. I was wondering if there is some drop in a man's hormones in his mid-fifties or could this be a sign of a deeper underlying problem. He is fit and active, so I wouldn't think a man his age would struggle with having sex and with having desire. I, too, am very fit. I am not ready to give up an active sex life just yet. Any insights?

cdad · Apr 13, 2010, 05:14 PM

It could be that your busting his bubble has hit him in ways you don't understand. It may have broken the confidence he once had. From now on it will be in the back of your mind if not his. That alone is enough to cause a lack of interest. Another thing is if he is feeling off his usual then he needs a through checkup. Diabetes and other problems can come cropping up and may have been overlooked. Just try to remember the greatest sex organ we all have is between our ears and that can have a major influence on attitude and mood.

Gemini54 · Apr 13, 2010, 10:03 PM

He is still young and should be interested in sex. I'd suggest you need to talk: definitely to each other, possibly to a doctor and probably to a counsellor.

Lack of interest in sex may also mean that there are other problems in the relationship... but first exclude any physical problems, then start on the emotional ones.

lostNTexas · Apr 14, 2010, 08:16 AM

Thanks for the feedback. We have a really good, close emotional relationship. However, I noticed his last few cholesterol tests have been very high. I suspect that might have something to do with all this. He's on meds, but it still concerns me that his diminished drive/inabilities is hinting at a more serious problem. Think he may need to see some sort of specialist. Thanks, guys.

Jake2008 · Apr 14, 2010, 09:50 AM

Many things can affect sex drive. Medication is one, and interractions with medications is another.

It isn't 'normal' to go from having a sex drive, to not having a sex drive. There has to be a cause for suddenly having zero interest in sex.

If he has no sex drive, and doesn't miss what he doesn't desire naturally, he may not think it's a big deal. Sort of if you aren't hungry, you don't eat.

Like anything else that physically changes so drastically, my opinion is it needs to be medically checked out. There are many other medications on the market that might be more suitable to turn this around.

With all other things being normal, I'd say book him an appointment to see what's going on.