[sbprice]

I have an 18 year old son . Who graduated from high school and is and apprentice mechanic who does work part time. He has always been a pretty good kid and everyone has always told us what a wonderful young man he is and how polite he is. The day he graduated something chnaged in him maybe the thought of growing up and going into the real word I am not sure. It started last summer he got his first real love and of course his 1st sexual experience and is still with this girl. We do not no her hardly at all. He says he doesn't care if we get to no her either. We have made every effort because he is important to us we said if she is important to him then she is important to us.We would like to get to know her but we are not aloud to even say anything to her. Even when I do ask to talk to her for a second she acts like o no what did I do.Guilty of something I don't know but it has been almost 9 months now and we still have no clue who she is. My other really major thing is similar to others the repsect thing , our son seems to have so much anger inside him it scares me . He is not physical or anything but gets really angry and refuses to talk to us anymore. He and I had always had a wonderful relationship and talked about everything until now. He is rude , swears at us , yells , totally ignors what we say . Does nothing around the house . His life has changed so much he was always an active kid , spent all his time working on things in the shop or outside either his stuff or friends or families and now unless it has to do with himself or his girlfriend or his friends he hids. If he has an agruement with his girlfriend he takes it out on us or he goes to his room and climes into bed and is so deeply depressed and mopes around so much. When I ask him about anything its I don't want to talk about it , leave me alone. I can see he is hurting and really it feels like to his father and I his girlfriend is playing mind games with him but we can not say anything. Even his friends have noticed. We can sit down and have a normal conversation with his friends and we can't with him at all anymore with out him taking eveything negative. I miss my son and it is breaking my heart I don't know what to do. I just want my son I no and love back . We have even said if he can't talk to anyone what about getting some help and he flips and says he will not go see anyone... He seems to think now that he is 18 mom and dad don't need to worry or care about him anymore. He is always telling me not to worry about him and stop caring and I said I can't do that I am his mother and I will till the day I die. Please if anyone has any suggestions on how to help talk to him and or what I should do. His anger has gotten so bad he punches his vehicles all the time and leaves dints in them he takes his vehicles out and 4x4's them and doesn't fix things and that is not like him either . I am worried he may do something to himself or someone else. He says he is fine but he is not fine. That much anger built up and I do not understand. I have even said join a gym to get rid of his anger but no he refuses. I want to guide him in the right direction but I don't know how. PLease Please I am at my wits end and feel like I have lost him forever. I know his girlfriend he says he loves her but his father and I feel very strongly that since they got together he has changed so much that even not noing her as we do and have tried not to pass judgement on her we wonder if its her that has done this to him playing mind games with him. He treats her like a Queen. When I have talked to my son he sounds so depressed and says things like no matter what I do I hurt someone. I can't do anything right. So that is why he hides in his room.What do I do??

[BigE285]

I've been in the same position as your son. I had my first love and she practically controlled my life. Everyone who knew me claimed I had changed, and I was not the same. Your son is a victim of this unfortunately. He lost all priority. I hate to tell you this, but he more than likely won't return to his good old self until this influence is no longer a part of his life. My advice: Let him make his own mistakes. Don't try to talk him away from her for this will only make him want to rebel against you more. If your son is constantly hurt over this girl, their relationship won't last way too much longer. When their relationship finally does come to an end, don't expect your son back right away. There will be a streak of months where he will be an angry, depressed wreck. Not to worry though, he will turn up and more than likely eventually apologize for his behavior. This is a classic first love case. Try to be understanding, he thinks they will be together forever ;). Good luck, hope this helps.