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LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 07:56 PM

I don't know what's wrong with, I have been having this problem for long time I don't seems to be trust me girlfriend. I have been with her for 3yrs or so.. I'm her frist boyfriend ever.. n stuff. But I'm so afraid of she cheatin on me or so.. I so don't trust her what so ever.. I get so suspicous on whatever she do or say.. she tellls me everyday that she loves me and everything she complety scrafice everythingg for me but I am an idiot that I feel so inscure and everything.. I don't know why? Any good advice that could help me? Thank you in advance!

Bluerose · Dec 17, 2006, 08:19 PM

I'm sorry, sweetheart. But if you love her, you will have to learn to trust her or you will drive her away. Can you both sit down and talk about the way you feel and listen to what she has to say.

Skell · Dec 17, 2006, 08:22 PM

Yes, your lack of trust will drive her away. Im surprised it hasn't already and if you don't sharpen your act up you will lose her forever and then you won't have to worry about trusting her or her cheating because she will have another boyfriend who does trust her.

Is she your first girlfriend?

Have you been cheated on in the past?

Has she done anything for you to not trust her?

You may need to go and seek some professional advice on how to learn to trust, otherwise you will be destined for a lonely life!

LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 08:23 PM

I did.. she tells me that " i swear on ma rentz god u anyone u wann .. i dont do anything behind ur back. and i only love you" but.. me stupid don't seems to get that.. lol

Originally Posted by Skell

Yes, your lack of trust will drive her away. Im surprised it hasnt already and if you dont sharpen your act up you will lose her forever and then you wont have to worry about trusting her or her cheating because she will have another boyfriend who does trust her.

Is she your first girlfriend?

Have you been cheated on in the past?

Has she done anything for you to not trust her?

You may need to go and seek some professional advice on how to learn to trust, otherwise you will be destined for a lonely life!

Yaa.. I guess you could say.. that she is first actull girlfriend girlfriend that I caredd... have I cheated in past.. yes I have.. n I feel reall bad about ma self.. . She hasn't doneee anythingggg big that I should not trust her. Because everyone makes little mistake you know?

Skell · Dec 17, 2006, 08:40 PM

So you have cheated on her, yet you mistrust her? Wow, that's a good one!

You have some serious issues and to tell you the truth I feel sorry for your girlfriend. She doesn't know that you're a liar, and instead she is trying over so hard to earn your trust when you are living a lie yourself.

My suggestion would be, but ill doubt you listen, is to leave this poor girl alone as she will be better off without you, and work on yourself. Work out why you cheat, why you mistrust people and fix it!

Your only going to cause this girl a lot of pain and as I said I wish she only knew the truth and left your cheating ar$e! It is probably the wake up call you need!

LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 08:42 PM

Thaankx for great help.. :).. but that was back in days.. before when I wasn't really that in love or anything.. but now.. I realized ma mistakes.. n I caould bet ma life on it if tell her she will forgive me :) and.. even though.. I did feel bad about it and tried to let her go.. but she doesn't wann let me go!

Skell · Dec 17, 2006, 08:46 PM

Well tell her and we'll see. She deserves to know!

I think perhaps you telling her and clearing your dirty laundry / conscience may help you get over some of your trust issues.

What you think aboud that?

LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 08:50 PM

Yaa I did kind of tlak about it.. she refuse to know..

Skell · Dec 17, 2006, 08:53 PM

What do you mean she refuses to know?

This is messed up. Your messed up

I go back to my original advice and say that you should be single while you work on your many issues.

You won't listen though so I just hope that karma catches up with you and everything works out the best for all parties involved!

Good luck!

LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 09:01 PM

Lol wow.. u saw great maturaity.. bysayin.. "This is messed up. Your messed up

I go back to my original advice and say that you should be single while you work on your many issues.

You wont listen though so i just hope that karma catches up with you and everything works out the best for all parties involved!
" lol.. I don't know how can you make any judgement/assume/or situation when you don't know anything about it. Well.. thanks anyway!

Skell · Dec 17, 2006, 09:05 PM

You just told me enough about it for me to assume many things.

1) you don't trust her
2) you cheat on her
3) she refuses to acknowledge it
4) you seem to think it is OK

Sorry but that is enough for me to see that this is messed up.

Sorry if my maturity doesn't seem to meet with you approval.

Frankly, nor does yours!

LvrBoy · Dec 17, 2006, 09:50 PM

Okey well.. I don't think so you actully readd care fully I said.. I DID!. doesn't mean that I'm still cheatin on on her... and where did you get that from that I think its oky?. lol when I said.. you I do regret what I did.. n you I did accept that that was messed up.. but you didn't have to make cursuel judgemnt about me what I deserv or about karam!

talaniman · Dec 17, 2006, 10:47 PM

Back to the point is that your insecurity, though unfounded is hurting this relationship so it stands to reason that you need to take the steps to deal with this problem.

chosen1 · Dec 18, 2006, 12:28 AM

Originally Posted by LvrBoy

I dont know what's wrong with, i have been haveing this problem for long time i dont seems to be trust me gf. i have been with her for 3yrs or so.. i m her frist bf ever.. n stuff. but i m soo afraid of she cheatin on me or so.. i so dont trust her what so ever.. i get soo suspicous on whatever she do or say.. she tellls me everyday that she loves me and everything she complety scrafice everythingg for me but i am an idiot that i feel so inscure and everything.. i dont know why? any good advice that could help me? thank you in advance!

You sound like your still young... I was this way for a while from 16-21... u need to try to believe her and don't worry about what she is doing... if she is cheating on you you will find out from somebody somehow, then you can forget about her and solve your problem. I had the most beautiful girl for some time and was a jealous guy and didn't even like guys looking at her, but as time goes along you will realize a lot of things and take those looks she gets as compliements. Good luck

Makiavelic76 · Dec 18, 2006, 01:03 AM

Here I go:

Dude, hmmm.. does any other previous Gf cheat on you?

Have you ever been exposed to cheating environments since you were a kid? At family level?

What you have experience in the past should be work it out in the best positive way, when you reach your rational mental capabilities, which in my concept it would be around 18 or 20 yo.

Going back in time and make such analizes requires lots of courage to understand how those things are messing with your head today. Take the good from the bad, learn from your parents mistakes, learn from your own mistakes. Expose your mind to constructive and positive thoughts about relationships.

If you have this amazing gal, your should be proud, so, why don't you make her proud too? Evolution is the key here.

You deserve to be a better person, and the fact you are admiting here that u have some issues, it's the 1st step. So go for the others in a non stopping way.

Go deep my friend, go deep down on you..

Best luck

LvrBoy · Dec 18, 2006, 09:40 AM

Thanksss both of you :).. I think I should... :) thahnk youuu so much!

kdoodles · Dec 18, 2006, 12:03 PM

Oh my god, please learn to spell and use the proper words, they say those that accuse their partner of cheating or lying are usually the ones that are doing the cheating

Wildcat21 · Dec 18, 2006, 01:38 PM

Stop wit ht dumb questions. You will push her away. You may even pus hher to cheat.

Yo've had some good answers - I am surprised you're still together.

neelpath · Jun 21, 2007, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by LvrBoy

I dont know what's wrong with, i have been haveing this problem for long time i dont seems to be trust me gf. i have been with her for 3yrs or so.. i m her frist bf ever.. n stuff. but i m soo afraid of she cheatin on me or so.. i so dont trust her what so ever.. i get soo suspicous on whatever she do or say.. she tellls me everyday that she loves me and everything she complety scrafice everythingg for me but i am an idiot that i feel so inscure and everything.. i dont know why? any good advice that could help me? thank you in advance!

Hi lvrboy, good to see that you love your girlfriend a lot. But don't u think you are being over possesive. Listen buddy, there is one thumb rule, if you catch hold sand tightly in your palm it will flow out from your fist. Just hold the sand gently. I am sure your girlfriend also loves u, just think if she keeps spying you and suspect you of betraying her, which you are not doing, then how will you feel. Its better that you sit with her and discuss about your both's future together. If she is opening to you that time, you can tell about your insecurity, but don't blame her. Just say calmly, that you love her so much, that you are afraid you will lose her.. I am sure she will understand it. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend for future. Hope I suffice you with your answer. Bye and take care.

Kattalover · Jun 21, 2007, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Skell

So you have cheated on her, yet you mistrust her? Wow, thats a good one!

It's actually very typical to suspect others of doing the same things we do or have done.