[louiseismyname]

Thanks, ami, tal and sully for your kind insightful words. Im feeling much stronger today and I'm going to ignore him from now on again. Ive got too good a life going on for mummys boy to spoil it this time.

It just hurts that he says he loves me and then ignores my texts and calls for three days, that too me isn't love more like mind games. Xxx

[amicon]

That's it ignore him forever-NC forever!!

[louiseismyname]

Thanks ami, I really do love this guy :0( and he uses that love to play mind games with me

Why is it that I have this fab fella who would give up his life for me yet I'm drawn to this other guy who treats me like dirt and only ever thinks of himself.?

While I've been trying to make this other guy speak to me I'm not putting in the time and effort with my fella, I don't want to lose this guy as he is the best guy in the world. God its just so hard, I'm not going to answer his texts and calls again, I made a mistake thinking we could be friends but you are so right when you say on here that sometimes after a relationship brakes down there is just no going back to being friends :0(

[amicon]

You need to detox yourself from this dependency you have-that's not love it's more like a drug you crave.

What you're doing to each other,and you're playing your part as well,as you can't leave it be,is toxic and a complete waste of time.

As for the relationship you are in now,do you really think it's fair on your current guy,your being with him,with all this carry on?

Have a think about that.

[louiseismyname]

Ami - no I really don't think its right and fair on hence hence my saying in an above thread. Id never want to hurt him ever, hence my venting on here rather than contacting my ex. I just hate that someone could want to hurt someone else so badly, so any times including a few days ago I've thought of ending it all because of the hurt and pain my ex boyfriend wants to put on me. I won't do it though as I have a family and many friends that need my support at this difficult time (my nan) xx

So many people tell me that I'm a kind and loving person and that I'm so thoughtless towards myself and so giving to others, if this is so then why does this ex want to hurt me if I'm a good person?

[talaniman]

Because he is not a good person, and the sooner you accept the world is full of bad people, who do bad things, then you will do what good people do about bad people, to protect themselves, they don't associate themselves with them at all.

Any attention you give them, brings bad things into your life.

[louiseismyname]

Thanks Tal, I hate myself so much for loving him!!

Im just going to try and keep myself busy to forget him :0( I just hate it that someone can play on someone's loves for another. I hate to think that there are nasty people out there but I suppose its true and I've got to face that horrible fact. He just ignores me for days at a time and when he is bored he just texts me a "hey its me how are you" line and expects me to jump through a hoop.

He calls me a slag and a whore but then gets mad if I'm with someone else, its like he is jealous that I'm with somelse but don't really want me himself. I just don't understand many things at the moment but what I do understand thankfully is that he plays mind games and hurts others to gain happiness for himself xx

[talaniman]

I love you Louise, but your repeating yourself, so forgive me for asking if you have been texting him recently?

I just need to know if this is him, or are you still trying to keep him in your life by still contacting him.

He just ignores me for days at a time and when he is bored he just texts me a "hey its me how are you" line and expects me to jump through a hoop.

I would expect he contacts you out of the blue, as you have not text, or called him in many months, I mean many months. But if you react to his texts, that's breaking no contact, and is keeping this vicious cycle alive.

[louiseismyname]

He has been texting me Tal so I stupidly text him back saying I was with someone and yes I loved him but id like for us to be friends, he said that how can I be with someone else if I still loved him?

[amicon]

Forget friends,forget HIM.
If anyone were to call me the names he has called you,I'd sue them!

[louiseismyname]

He even said the other day that he thought id make the pregnancy up and was lying. The names he calls me hurt the most, why would you say that to someone?

[amicon]

This is where you trip yourself up-you try to figure him out-instead of saying to yourself; Right,he is a complete idiot,s***f him,and then get on with your life.

[louiseismyname]

That's what I'm doing ami now - I've spent far too long trying to analyse his $behaviour and it gets me no where and makes me unhappy. When we spoke the other day I told him how much he was hurting me, he said I don't know what hurt is and I asked him why he said that? He said that he self harms cause of the pain inside him!! This is the guy that said he cut my name into his arm and then blamed me (his ex girlfriend told it was all a lie and he hadn't cut hmself)

From now on I'm looking forward and forgetting him xx

[talaniman]

he has been texting me Tal so i stupidly text him back saying i was with someone and yes i loved him but id like for us to be friends, he said that how can i be with someone else if i still loved him?

Harshness warning

So its you who have been not going No Contact properly that's kept this alive for so long? No wonder you have not healed, and been able to move beyond this idiot you think can be a friend.

Are you so desperate for a friend that you are fooling yourself? Yes you are as every post you have written is all about you keeping this idiot around to make you miserable. After the last nine months when do you take some suggestions, and do what it takes to keep the devil away from you.

Its not his fault he is a jerk idiot who disrespect you and calls you names.

Its entirely, absolutely YOUR fault for taking his abuse, ignoring NC, breaking NC, and going back to the same treatment as before.

That is utter INSANITY, doing the same freaking thing over, and over (breaking NC), and expecting different results. (him acting like a good person, he is not, and has proven to you, he will not even act like you want him too).

I hate it when someone whom I care about, and want her to be happy just keeps doing DUMB stuff to hurt themselves again, and again.:mad:

Especially when they keep saying how right I (and others) are with our advice, but don't heed it. My gosh, its been 8 freaking months of LYING to US!! :mad:::confused::mad:

[louiseismyname]

Tal - I have never lied on this forum :0( believe me I regret TRYING to be his friend, I thought it would be OK between us and he would accept my new fella ! Big mistake and a lesson learned but I'm not in as deep as per usual and am happy to walk away now before getting hurt again.

I now understand that we can never ever be mates, yes that is sad as I do love the idiot but understand that my current fella is far more important to me than he ever was. I just need the strength to keep busy and keep my dignity that he is trying to take away from me. Il be OK, I always am, I've got my family especially my nans illness to keep my mind busy plus a whole heap of college work. Thanks again for your help guys, without you id be on the funny farm for sure. I won't post anymore comments on here as I don't want to upset or offend anyone xxx

[amicon]

I just want you to get on with your life and be happy-ok?

[talaniman]

That's all I want also, but it really hurts to see my friend keeping running her head into a brick wall.

Don't let my rant stop you from posting, but I get upset when you aren't making the progress, you could be so for that I apologize, because here is where you should be comfortable to vent your feelings without me getting all emotional, and evil.

See, I am human too, and do have feelings same as you, and make mistakes sometimes... same as you. :D

[louiseismyname]

Thanks for your advice - il not contact him again. I can now see the bigger picture and understand that its all controlling mind games and not love - yeah it hurts me very much and I feel like having a good old cry but il never shed another tear for him, that would been seen as weak in his eyes.

Maybe he did love me, maybe he didn't? I don't suppose il ever find out the real truth on that score

[amicon]

No,and just leave it at that,you'll never know.

Some people aren't capable of loving themselves,so they can't love anyone else.

Sad,but that's life.

[louiseismyname]

Thanks ami - I just hate myself for loving someone who cares so little about my feelings :0(, I wish that I wasn't such an emotional and sensitive person at times.