[Paununez]

My husband does not want to have a baby right now but I very much want to and feel it is the right time. We have been together for 2 years and we are doing great, I have a 6 year old girl from a previous relation and he loves her very much, he is an amazing father. Everything inside me tells me I am ready, my mother instict is telling me now is the time, I can't get the thought out of my head and heart, I want a baby so incredibly bad that it makes me misareable to know that he does not want one right now. I am afraid this can destroy our marriage, I love him very much and he is a great husband but my desire to become a mother for the second time is much stronger than anything. Please help me, is he wrong, can I change his mind and make him see now is the time, or am I wrong, should I wait like he wants (he is talking about years by the way, I don't want to wait even one year). Thank you for your help!

[smoothy]

Keep in mind he has a part in this... I can think of a dozen reasons he wants to wait... all of them very real and valid. It's a decision BOTH of you have to agree with or there will be resentment if there is an intentional whoopsie..

After all, look at it this way... he didn't say no... he only asked to wait for a while longer.

[Cat1864]

Two years is a relatively new relationship. How much of that have you actually been married?

Parenthood is something you both need to agree on. In your talks with him about having a baby that would be his biological child, has he given you any reasons he wants to wait? Have you truly listened and thought about what he is saying?

Other than a strong desire to have another child, why do you want one 'right now'?

May I make a guess that it has less to do with how great a father he is and more to do with your daughter no longer being a baby? For some women, they get the 'urge' to have another child when their baby becomes a toddler. For others, the urge can hit when their child is of school age. The time when the child starts becoming more involved in things that don't include mommy. If this is the reason, then it could reoccur when the next baby becomes a school child. So, please make sure you aren't trying to fill a void left by your growing daughter.

I strongly believe that you both need to sit down and discuss having a mutual child. You should both be open and honest with each other and open to compromise.

[Jake2008]

You want a baby, you feel the time is right, you feel you don't want to wait, you want one within the year, your motherly instinct to have another baby is very strong. You! You! You!

Give your husband a break. You are miserable as you say because you cannot convince him, and your marriage is at stake?

If your life revolves around another baby, and you cannot control your thoughts and emotions about it, my guess is you are making him just as miserable as you are making yourself.

There must be more to this.

You have a loving father to your daughter from a previous relationship, a good husband, a bright future, and you would throw that away because he is not ready for another child?

It is my opinion that you are incredibly selfish and self-centered, and put your needs and wants entirely over his.

I can't believe that you seriously think that you expect him to 'comply' just to keep you happy. Bringing a baby into this world isn't like picking out a new car; it is a huge commitment, by both parties, and the decision to have one has to be mutual.