[kp2171]

m!sz89

A piece of advice... sometimes hearing different perspectives means hearing uncomfortable things, sometimes said without soft words or rounded edges.

Personally, I trust I know the person who puts me to the wall more than the one who tries to handle me with soft gloves... so... we know you wouldn't be posting without some interest in changing your situation, and we wouldn't be posting without a sincere desire to talk things out... even if that isn't always in a way you'd most want to hear.

Not uncommon for me to talk about my experiences and my beliefs when I answer questions that sometimes could be answered factually. When a poster tells you about their beliefs and how that shapes their answer, its usually less about converting you and more about letting you know where they come from.

I think that's not a bad thing.

[kp2171]

if my lover kept saying "i love having sex with you"... at the most random moments, id first be flattered... then id be curious if it was a call for more... and if it persisted id wonder if it was some ego massaging that was getting a little out of control...

maybe he's looking for you to answer in kind... maybe he is wondering if you love having sex with him... whether you are as satisfied as he is? You've given your answer (not really) but he might be searching for a sign of how much you enjoy it... or looking for things that you might need or want that you aren't getting?

[m!sz89]

I appreciate your honesty because I was a tad offended by the religious comment on his perspective.. but on a softer note, am I supposed to tell him I love his sex in return if that's what he is looking for? Or should I just.. I don't know.. in the last line you said things that I might need or want.. I couldn't even put it in to words because I'm not completely sure that I even know

[kp2171]

I don't think you are "supposed" to tell him anything you don't want to, and certainly its not good to tell him anything you don't believe...

The sex isn't all you want it to be. I don't know why. Don't know if he just doesn't engage you... if you have needs he just is not taking care to tend... or what...

But if he's putting that out there, maybe he is looking for where your mind is concerning sex.

So... if you aren't thrilled and he is maybe testing the water... talk to him about it. When I said "what you might need and want"... that was referring specifically to in the bedroom. Not that its not good to talk about any needs or wants you have in the relationship... was just addressing the topic o' sex.

If you aren't sure about what you want concerning sex... well, we can talk about it... what seems right and what seems off... but if you don't know what you need, he sure as hell isn't going to either most likely.

Don't know that you'd want to talk about this right after he's gushed and glowed about being happy with you in bed... but if he is too offended or unwilling to talk about your needs... I don't know what to say. I'm just not wired like that. Thank god for fearless women who demand their needs are met and are willing to openly talk about it and work through it... things might not always go as one wishes... but you've a better chance at it when you aren't relying on extra sensory perception and idiot guy intuition.

I get to say that cause I'm a guy with idiot guy intuition. It can be overridden.