[Mikelreal]

Let me go straight to my question
Have been friends with this girl for two years now.we re in the same college.. I asked her out recently,and she was like, she isn't ready for any relationship now,that am a very nice guy,and that we should just be good friends,she wouldn't want to lose me etc... now I don't know whether I should just let her be,or still be the "just friends"though to me that kind of awkward now,because it will be somehow you know, to be frank,I can't do anything without thinking about her.. I felt terrible when she said all those stuffs,couldn't eat nor sleep throughout that day.my problem now is,I don't want to be friends with her anymore,(and too make things worst she told almost all her friends I asked her out),because its making things difficult for me.. any suggestions..

[LearningAsIGo]

You need to separate yourself from her for a while. Since you don't want to be friends at this point and you're feeling rejected, there is no reason to see her on a consistent basis.

In time, you may want to have a friendship with her, but its only natural to want some distance after she turned you down for a romantic relationship. Just take a break and you'll move on in your own time.

Good luck

[Mikelreal]

!Thanks :) but what should I do when she calls,because she kind of calls more than often this days(she even complained about my not calling her),or when I meet her in school... all what have been saying are from my brain,my heart doesn't want to let go at all...

[I wish]

If you stay friends with the false hope that she might like you one day, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment and a heartbreak.

But if you don't let the false hope hurt you, then be friends.

[dontknownuthin]

Yeah, I think you need to trust your gut on this one - you don't want to be friends with her because you recognize that's not how you see her, it would be hard to act one way when you feel another, and she did kind of an immature thing telling her friends that you asked her out and she turned you down. I'd say, be friendly when you run into her but don't seek her out at all.

[Mikelreal]

Thanks guys, have decided not to ever call or text her again,if she calls fine(I don't want her to call anymore,its killing me.. what should I do?),if she doesn't I will be OK,afteral am not the first guy she has turned down (she told me she isn't ready for any relationship some months back),she get asked out a lot,though this is my first time..

[amicon]

You don't take her calls,or if you do-polite but busy.

[Mikelreal]

Thanks :) will do just that

[I wish]

If talking to her is tormenting you, the put a STOP to it.

Don't talk to her until your feelings for her have gone away.

[talaniman]

Leave her be, you got rejected so move on.

[Mikelreal]

She sent me a text yesterday,saying that she lost her former line so here is her new line etc... I didn't call back... she now cald me the next day asking why didn't I call her,I gave her some silly xcuse,we spoke for a while and that was it... right now I feel so good,because she wants me to call her,. and will never call her,have even deleted her new number from my phone before I memorize it again..

[dontknownuthin]

If she persists just be honest and tell her you're not comfortable in the "friend zone" with her so are moving on and hope she will respect your decision.

[Mikelreal]

I just sent her a text message,told her I needed some time off,and that we are still friends,but I just want to stay away for some time... what do you think?? She didn't reply... I don't know,hope she isn't angry

[amicon]

If she doesn't reply,you just leave it like that and keep on living your own life.

[talaniman]

Well Mike, we are all counting the days before you realize that properly done period of healing that involves NC, is what you need.

After send a text asking for space, what's up with wandering why she hasn't replied, and worrying if she is mad? This is your healing, not hers, she doesn't care that your miserable, and need to heal.

Take it from here guy, and be responsible for yourself, and keep NC, like you said you would days ago, and stop torturing yourself.

[Mikelreal]

OMG!! U are so right! Thanks a million! you really understand my problem.. thanks man

[I wish]

What was the point of texting her?

If she responded, you're going to over-analyze her words. If she doesn't respond, then it's only going to make you wonder why she didn't. It's a lose/lose situation.

Building false hope for yourself is only going to hurt you more. If you can't handle a friendship-only arrangement, then keep her out of your life.

[Mikelreal]

Well, I text her because she keeps calling and complaining that she"goes out of her way just to call me" but I don't. I decided to text her because she is the only one calling,and I am tired of giving her silly excuses.

[I wish]

It's because you kept giving her excuses, which is why she persisted. But she might think that eventually you will run out of excuses.

Ignoring her would have done the trick. Eventually she would have taken the hint.

Do you still have feeilngs for her? Is that why you need to avoid her?

[Mikelreal]

Wow... To be frank with you, I still have some kind of feelings for her,which I think is normal,because you don't just get over some just like that(itsnt only me,read other posts),
It takes time,and receiving her calls make things difficult for me... and yes am not just trying to avoid her,instead am avoiding her,because I have feelings for her... and also because because I want to move on with my life.
Whether I like it or not I won't be able to contact her,cause have deleted her number from my phone.. good for me I guess...

I have been ignoring her ever since,she just wouldn't code the message... and Talaniman,you are right about the false hope part,but Michael is trying to move on.