[talaniman]

Gather all her things, and make sure she gets them, so that can be the end of this story.

[mac_20]

I'm in the process of gathering her things. I was just going to leave them at one of her relatives place and she can pick them up there. I haven't yet responded to her text, and she just text me again. "you know I know you're not too busy to reply" Then that was followed by another one that didn't make a lot of sense, and was quite rude. It's late and St. Patricks day, so she's obviously drinking.

[amicon]

Like you said,leave her things with a relative.

Delete her texts without reading them and block her number if you can.

Stick to NC. Good luck.

[mac_20]

I know you guys will think I'm crazy, as all of the advice on here seems quite blunt. I'd like to keep the possibility of things with her open in the future. With NC she has slowly started to be bothered by the fact that I'm not there for her whenever she wants anymore. And therefore, she has stepped up the frequency of her messages to me. It also makes her mad, (probably both at me and her) and therefore she reaches out to me with this anger. Her last rude message said "i want what I deserve, you have no respect, I'm Fu@%ingad I was w u so long" That's how it was. Mispelt like that. I have a feeling what it meant to say though. So. How do I convey to her that I do care for her, and that I do respect her as a person, but I don't respect when she says stuff like that to me. I'm not expecting her to, nor do I want her to come running back in her current state. She has to figure herself out. She knows that although, knowing and doing something about it are two different things. So how do I tell her I care for her, and that I might be there down the road once she is at peace with herself? Continuing NC will probably only push her further away, yet by responding, she knows all she has to do to get my attention, is hurl some offensive and hurtful remarks my way. Kind of a loose loose situation...

[talaniman]

Give her stuff back, and continue to leave her alone guy. You can't sit on the fence and hope the future will work out with her. Yes she is upset, so what? That's no longer important. What is important is that you deal with reality, not your reluctance to let go of her BS. That's why she contacts you, to keep you confused, and false hope alive.

[mac_20]

All right, well I've decided to give her a day or two to cool down a little, and hopefully I don't receive any more nasty messages over the weekend. Then I'm going to email her and tell her when I'm available to meet. I'm going to try and be assertive without be rude or aggressive.

[vanheart]

She's got you just where she wants you.

That isn't going to be good for you. Now or later.

Don't be a sucker as she's doing what she wants, leaving you to worry if she's going to hookup or not. Who needs that BS?

Trust is everything. And you can't trust her. Then or now.
But real the point is she wanted a break. Moved out. Later dude.
(ie, not be with you)

Lose the false hope & get in control of your life. Which means moving forward without her. Don't be her friend. Don't hang on.

She's one of a million girls out there, cool ones. If you really want to man up, then go NC with this juvenile.

[mac_20]

How does she have me right where she wants me? Sure what she is doing is getting at me, but I'm not giving her the pleasure of seeing that. She's obviously bothered by the fact I haven't responded, so haven't I taken some of that control she wants away from her?

[amicon]

Take full control of your own life and stay away.

Why think about meeting up and give her the chance to start the mindgames again?

[Imabadman]

How does she have me right where she wants me? Sure what she is doing is getting at me, but I'm not giving her the pleasure of seeing that. She's obviously bothered by the fact I haven't responded, so haven't I taken some of that control she wants away from her??

Again... you're missing the point. It's about you moving on and NOT letting her effect you anymore.

[mac_20]

I had a feeling you guys were going to say that ;) Trouble is, I DON'T WANT to move on. I want to work on things with this woman. I know it takes two to work on things, and clearly she doesn't want to do that now. I do think that she has some really deep rooted feelings for me, and that they will resurface again.

I wonder if I should have told her that I'm going NC? She clearly resents me for not responding to her. She told me in a very rude message that I have no respect for her, and I'm sure that comment came from her resentment of my ignoring her.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule-Never follow your heart when it’s so broken, it makes the brain feel like mush
She will take longer than a few days to cool off, and for now she just wants her stuff back. Stop waffling and holding on because you think holding her stuff hostage will keep your foot in the door.

Trouble is, I DON'T WANT to move on. I want to work on things with this woman. I know it takes two to work on things, and clearly she doesn't want to do that now. I do think that she has some really deep rooted feelings for me, and that they will resurface again.

All the advice we give means nothing if false hope is so strong, but the decision to what you do is ALL yours.

[vanheart]

You are contradicting yourself.

You say it takes two, but she clearly doesn't want to. That's not two.

How long are you going to pressure with indecision & heartache?
What? Wait around?

False hope in a nutshell. Lets this one go.

May be the best thing you ever did.

You can realize it now & suck it up, or realize it later & do some serious crying.

Like Tal says don't follow your heart here from past joys, follow your gut.

You already said and I quote " I shouldn't even want her back after some of the stuff she pulled"