[Rie]

I've been married for almost 6yrs we have a 6yr old, 2yr old and I'm pretty much 39 weeks pregnant. I'm very much alone, during this pregnancy I've received 1 massage (only because I hurt my back and had to sleep with a heating pad for a week). He sleeps on the couch then askes why I don't wake him to come to bed (yeah because every time I try he just rolls over). When he finally makes his way to bed either I'm awake just because or our 2yr old is awake. I get the usual kiss and "I love you" when I leave for work in the morning but when I come home after picking the kids up I usually have to ask. He loves to take off to the neighbours almost every night. When we brought our 2yr old he left that night to go over to our neighbour's place for a celebration drink. I know that may sound stupid but that's something that I will always remember and will bring tears to my eye's every time I think of it. I pretty much told him if he pulls that again this time he might as well just sign the divorce paper's. He complains that I don't do anything around the house but then when I try he complains that I'm doing too much. I'm just lonely and finding that I'm starting to have a very short fuse with my kids. Right now it's 4:30am (been up for about 3hr) my 2yr old is playing on the floor and I have to work tomorrow. Hubby is upstairs sleeping away after talking on the phone to some friend (yeah and it's a girl, who live's on the other side of the country) and that my friends is why I'm up with her. I'm going to stop now I could go on forever but I won't bore you any longer.

[justcurious55]

You're pregnant, working, and taking care of a toddler and he gets to sleep? He's lucky you're not me. I'd have dragged him out of bed and made him take care of the toddler while I got some sleep. And then only allowed him into bed after I got a nice foot massage. And that long phone call with a girl on the other side of the country, what is he even doing talking to some other girl all night when you're pregnant? Have you asked him if you could start staying on the phone with other men while he tends to the children and housework before having to go to work?

[LearningAsIGo]

I have a newborn and my husband and I went through something like this just a few weeks ago. Seeing him sleep and be happier (than I) made me furious! I finally broke the ice, gave him a big hug and told him "WE both have to stop being turds."

I know that sounds funny, but it worked for me! ;)
The point is, I had to tell him that I'm upset with those things because I'm stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and angry. Turns out, he was too and we were taking it out on each other instead of working as a team.

Is that what's going on with your relationship? When he does these things, do you talk with him about feeling lonely and overwhelmed?

Its no wonder you feel this way --I would too -- but sometimes our partners need it spelled out (very slowly) to them so they understand. Even when you think he should get it, don't assume that he does.

Going to the neighbors, calling that girl, are ways for him to destress and that's okay--as long as you get a chance to destress too. Make sure you find a way to give yourself time to relax and unwind and talk with him on how he WILL help you accomplish that. You're about to have another child and you need a chance to put your feet up once in a while.

Good luck!

[Rie]

Oh I've told him that he needs to stay home more and that I'm feeling lonely. He stays home for about a week then it starts back up again. It's got so bad for a bit that our 6yr old asked if Daddy was going to start sleeping over at the neighbours. When I told him what she had said even that didn't seem to make a difference. I've tried talking to him, getting mad, pretty much everything you can think of. It's not like I don't like our neighbour he's a nice guy, I go outside once in a while and chat with him over the fence but I don't go over there every night especially after spending the entire day with him. I'm beginning to think that maybe hubby and I want different things.

[LearningAsIGo]

It may be to the point where marriage counseling is in order.