[lostandconfused25]

I'm 18 years old, turning 19 tomorrow and she's 16 years old, turning 17 in about a month. We've been together for a year and a half now and we've been through so much together. I won't even get into that right now.

But two days ago on our 1 1/2 year anniversary, she told me that she's bored of being in a relationship and wants to break up. She says she's not bored of me, but she doesn't want to have to worry about another person right now. She also said that she won't be in a relationship for the next couple of years and that she wants to just remain single. But she's going to wait to officially 'cut ties' with me until next week since she wants to celebrate my birthday with me this weekend.

I'm completely against the break up, but she says that I'm being selfish by wanting to remain together since she's unhappy. She says that us breaking up is not that big of a deal. What gets me is how she says that we will remain best friends and that not much will change. I'll be her 'main rock' and that she won't treat me much differently. She still loves me and always will, she wants to still have physical relations with me, and she thinks that I can be her husband when we're both older and ready to settle down.

How am I supposed to handle this situation? She keeps saying that if I don't take this easier (I've been very emotional the past couple of days voicing my displeasure) that I'll lose her completely and she'll delete all forms of communication from me. I don't know what to do and all she keeps saying is that there's no way I can prevent it.

I can't sleep at night, I have no appetite, I've never been this depressed before in my life, and I can't agree to doing this because it hurts too much. Is it really that big of a deal or am I making it bigger than it needs to be?

[amicon]

All your feelings are normal and will fade with time.

However,the friendship your ex is demanding is a bad idea.
When somebody breaks up with us they don't get to make the rules!

What you should do,is go no contact and start living your own life.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page,there is lots of good advice there.

Take care.

[Larken85]

DO NOT allow her to just be your friend with benefits which is what she is suggesting. It is always a bad idea. She wants to break up in my opinion so she can do whatever she wants without having to care about what you think of it. And since you will always have a feeling about what she is doing the FWB relationship will not last anyway. It seems more like a way to let you down easy. And don't let her come to your birthday party either, this will cause you embarrassment in front of your friends and family since they will all surely know what is going on and believe me you will look like you're so totally whipped its not even funny. Or they will think you are pathetic. Hate to say it like that but that is how I would look at it from their point of view. I suggest cutting ties with her now if you want to save yourself prolonged heart ache. The relationship will never be what you want it to be again and the two of you will not get married if this split happens, trust me. Also just be strong and tell her she has two choices, either she leaves you alone forever or she stays with you forever. It is that simple and you can do this, you are older and you wear the pants in the couple so grow some rocks and stand up to her.
I am sorry you are going through this but it seems like there is not much else you can do. If she decides to go, you have to let her go. And you will have to heal on your own. Be single for a little while yourself and make sure that you are good and ready before entering another relationship. DO NOT DEPRESSION EAT!! Believe me its not a good idea,

[talaniman]

You handle this break up by accepting that its over, and rebuilding the life you had, before her. You keep your dignity, and self respect, by leaving her alone, and doing your own thing without her, and let her do hers.

Its sucks bad enough getting dumped, so don't make it worse by making a fool, and a spectacle of yourself by begging, or acting immature, about losing her. Because she ain't going back to the way it was.

Truth is, over time as you heal, and recover, you will be off to better things.