[orlae]

Hi I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 3 years! We broke up Monday two weeks ago! We broke up because we fight a lot but both love and care for each other dearley! Well so he tells me! He didn't contact me for the whole 2 weeks not even a text but eventually Monday he did contact me I didn't answer the phone but text him later that evening asking him what did he want! He replied saying that he had seen a photo of me and realised he made a big mistake letting me go! I said that we could be friends and he text back saying that he counts me as his family that he would never turn his back on me and would like if we didn't rule out getting back together in the future!I guess I was playing hard 2 get and just said to him that we weren't meant to be together but we could still be friends! Later that night he asked me if I missed sleeping with him I told him the truth that I did and he agreed!we got talking and he said could we meet and keep each other happy that way I said no that wed never move on that way and he said that hed like if we could do that, that hed hate going out looking for someone new!I said so you don't want to be with anyone else only me and he replied you got it in one!we ended up meeting last night and sleeping together!he told me he was sorry that he ever let me go! And today nothing not even a text message! Was he using me or am I reading too much in to it

[maydaymommy08]

How long hs it been since he's text or called you? If he just came to sleep with you then there's a problem there but there might be an explanation find out before you get to upset!

[AmericanGirl01]

Go with your gut feeling. You know him better than any of us. Do you feel like he is just using you? Do his actions make you believe that he Truly misses YOU and wants to get back together? The fact that you're asking this questions makes me think you feel used...


If so, then he wants to have his cake and eat it to. It doesn't work that way. Sex without strings is OK when it's mutual, but not when one person wants more but is too insecure to let on. You can either keep having sex with him, and keep your feelings to yourself and wait until he breaks things off for good, because he's dating somebody new. That wouldn't feel very good at all.

Or you can get real about this. Sort it out. If this guy is using you and it's affecting you emotionally, it's got the potential to end in tears – yours – unless you walk away now. Be strong and mean it, surely he'd still be in a relationship with you if that's what he wanted. So no begging him back. It's as simple as thanks but no thanks. Stay strong girl!

[orlae]

He's saying that he doesn't want anybody else only me though! I dropped him home at 11 last night and haven't heard anything since! So should I talk to him about it or just cut contact or stay friends or what! I know he does love me

[AmericanGirl01]

Did he say this after or before you slept together? Either way, it doesn't matter. Words and just words. Actions on the other hand speak way louder.

I wouldn't contact him if I were you. Continue on with your life. As of right now, you aren't back together, so treat this as a break up.

You need to ask yourself what do YOU want in all of this? It's not only about what he wants. This has all been about what he wants, you've given him so much power right now it's not even funny. Do you really want to be with someone that you're constantly arguing with, or someone that leaves you guessing how they truly feel about you?

IF he does contact you again for sex I would seriously kick him to the curb.

[orlae]

Did he say this after or before you slept together? Actions speak louder than words. Don't contact him. Wait and see what he does. Until then, continue on with your life. As of right now, you aren't back together, so treat this as a break up.

IF he does contact you again for sex I would seriously kick him to the curb.

After he said that he wouldn't give up on us that he would never turn his back on me that he loves me more than anything!


I must also admit that it was me that suggested meeting not him!I no now it was a really stupid thing to do but I guess I just missed him

[AmericanGirl01]

What do you want. Getting back together him because you miss him isn't good enough.

You both sound very young, in order for this to work a second time around the two of you need to figure out together what went wrong so that you can work as a team to make sure it does not happen again.. Do you really think things would be any different the second time around?

[orlae]

OK I spoke too soon he just text me asking how I was and how was my day!I do love him and I do want to be with him but at the same time I don't want to go back to all the fighting! I think I always blamed him for all the fighting but maybe I was wrong too!

[AmericanGirl01]

Like I already said. You need to figure out together what went wrong and work as a team to ensure that it doesn't happen again. If you're mature enough to be having sex you should be mature enough to have a serious talk with each other.

[orlae]

Like I already said. You need to figure out together what went wrong and work as a team to ensure that it doesn't happen again. If you're mature enough to be having sex you should be mature enough to have a serious talk with eachother.

You your right!maybe I should just leave it lie and wait and see until we meet again!?

[talaniman]

No he isn't using you, you both are using each other. Congrats, you are friends with benefits, by mutual consent.

[jmjoseph]

Stop having sex with him and see how much he "misses" you.

Good luck to you.

[orlae]

I have definitely leaned my lesson! We were texting away having a laugh and he said I feel sleepy so I said goodnight no goodnight message back! This was Thursday night text him to say hi on Friday and no reply and have heard nothing since! Now I know I was definitely used! I'm so confused as to why he did this I did nothing to him

[talaniman]

You have a lot to learn about people, as they will do what you let them do.

[orlae]

You have a lot to learn about people, as they will do what you let them do.

So what do I do? I so confused

[talaniman]

Stop believing sex and words equate love, and expecting he feels the same as you. By rights you should never have slept With him after the break up. Is he using you? Or are you letting him?

[88sunflower]

In your original post it sounded like you said he mentioned being friends with benefits. we got talking and he said could we meet and keep each other happy that way
To me he is saying lets just sleep together but no strings attatched. That's exactly what you gave him. Why should he contact you? Your there when he wants you there. You need to stop that. Don't give him that part of you. If you can sit down and talk things through and figure out where all the fighting is coming from then maybe you can go there again. At this point I think your being used. Your not strong enough to walk away because you still have feelings so you keep letting him control you with this out of the blue texting that keeps you hanging on. You take the control in your hands. You stop the contact. If he comes to you then its conversation only. If not then so long to him.

[orlae]

I will definitely stop the contact! I don't want to be used and definitely won't b making the same mistake again! All my friends say treat them mean keep them keen? Does that actually work?

[talaniman]

Sound like a control game to me, I prefer true love and romance, through working together, because loyalty and honesty have their own rewards.

Who has time for these games?

[88sunflower]

i will definately stop the contact! i dont want to be used and definately wont b making the same mistake again! all my friends say treat them mean keep them keen? does that actually work?

Don't listen to what your friends say. Listen to what your head and heart say. You don't treat them one way expecting opposite results. That's not the way it works. You treat them in a mature way and with respect and hope for the same in return. If not then that choice is yours to make. Continue on or move on.