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Kylaa · Mar 9, 2010, 07:43 PM

I hope I can explain this enough so that someone can understand. I am late 20s. I have a group of friends and we have all been friends since we were around 18, some 15 and 16. We were all close but as time has passed and we have got older we have slowly grown apart. I should explain that 3 of the friends are sisters. I have went through a lot of troubles in my life with depression and others and have always found my friends a comfort. One friend (I will call her friend A) has been my close friend (best friends as they call it). Ok skipping a few years.. last year I went for dinner with one of my friends who informed me that Friend B (the sister of friend A) has been talking about me to her. She said to her that 1) I should not be telling friend A my problems as it brings her down. And 2) Her sister (Friend A) has changed for the worst since she met me!! OMG I cannot explain how hurtful this is and I still feel it today as I was told by this other friend not to tell anyone or it would get out that she told me! This has been a burden on my mind for over a year, I started distancing myself from friend B and decided that was it for us. IT got round our group that things were not the same between us but nothing has been said between me and friend B. Skip to now and my dad was diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago, all my real friends have came forward and been a support. She has not... I should also say she knows my dad well and that my dad took her in for a few weeks when her mum threw her out a few years ago! Anyway I HAVE TO say something, I cannot say that I know what she said about me bring her sister down but I HAVE TO SAY something it is driving me mad! I cannot stand this girl anymore she treats everyone like crap and aparrently the others in the group think this also! Anyway I wrote this letter...

Can you tell me what to do any advice would be welcome. I am past resolving this, she is not a friend. I only have to have her in my life because her sister is my best friend!

LETTER
I wanted to write you this to let you know how I feel. Since I found out my dad had cancer my life and outlook has completely changed and even more now today since I got the news he has survived the operation and the tumor has been removed. I have started realising what and who is important in my life. My real friends have came forward and have been a real support for me and also my family. I have to tell you that I am hurt that you have not been there, considering we are long time friends and my dad was part of your life and also let you in to his home when you had nowhere to go. A long time ago yes but I never forget these things. I realise that the friendship between me and you disappeared a while ago but I really did expect some sort of support from you at this time. Anyway like I said its clear to me, you and everyone else that me and you no longer get along as we did before so I am sending you this so that it is out in the open. We don't see each other often so that's fine and we can both explain to FRIEND A because I am sure she will want to understand. From my point of view this is the end of the line, I used to keep my feelings in and not be true to myself and that has changed now so I have to be kind to myself and speak this to you so that I and also you can move on with peace and know where we both stand with each other. I am sure you probably have some thoughts on this also. That's all I have to say.

clkaroma · Mar 10, 2010, 03:54 AM

I think you might make matters worse for yourself as they are sisters although I feel you should say how you feel to them its very tricky. The sisters will stick together I feel. Good luck I hope your dad will recover shortly x

KBC · Mar 10, 2010, 05:30 AM

I would not send her anything, let the sleeping dogs lie where they will,, don't stir up something that should be left in the past.

The hurt you feel, she may or may not feel any of it, it's only your side of the street you need to worry about, why drag her back into something she might not care about anyway.

She isn't worth this drama you are living in, resentments hurt those who allow them to fester and boil inside.She isn't the one I see with these feelings,you are the one holding all this in.

Accept that she isn't a friend,for whatever reason,and go forward with your life without this hatred dragging you down.