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zalkarad · Mar 8, 2010, 04:37 PM

Here's the deal: I met this girl 10 months ago, can't say she is very talkative,she is herself only when she knows the people,unlike me. Me, I'm a very sociable person.The problem is that after 4 months of being together, it was my sister's b-day and my mom called me and told me to take my girlfriend and my sis to go out for a pizza. I had 2 talk like 20 min with my girlfriend in order 2 convince her to go out with my sister. And ever since, my parents don't like her. Another thing is that she is 20 and doesn't have a job. Can't let her go because I care a lot about her and also cause she is a virgin, which means something. My parents told me to break up with her or else they will take their hands off me. This sucks a lot. THey are totally against my relationship.On the other hand, I cheated on her 2 times, but don't think I can find someone better then her.what can I do?

sunsandmoons · Mar 8, 2010, 05:01 PM

A lot of girls who are 20 really have terrible conversation skills. A few years ago when I was 20 and had a girlfriend of the same age, she was terrible at speaking to my mother. She passed it off as 'shy' yet she would gab on one hundred miles per hour to her friends. My mother looked at her in disgenuine and dishonest light. Thought she may have a hidden agenda. Ive heard of many other young girls too who 'claim' to be shy, yet they have plenty to say to their friends. This means they can't converse well with adults.

A lot of parents will look at this and think something is up, I know my mum did.

So much so, when I'd be in the company of other female friends who were quite/very chatty with my mother, she'd often say to me. I really like such and such, she's a nice girl, very chatty. You should get somebody like that.

There's a lot of truth in parents perceptions and words.

All you can try to do is convince her to get over her fears. Talking to people is something we have to do on a daily basis. For her sake, if she can't hold a conversation with a single adult, she doesn't fair very well on the jobs market.

When I was a teen, I actually found it easier conversing with adults. Felt like there was more common ground and they're usually better conversationalists.

As for cheating on her. I suggest you call her now, confess and tell her never to contact you again.

Cos you my friend don't deserve her.

zalkarad · Mar 8, 2010, 05:06 PM

The problem is that she... never met my parents,and they don't want to meet her. And to be honest,she is the ony girl I cheated on, because I felt I needed more and found more ( such as conversations,topics ). But couldn't stick to them.I know I can find someone to whom I am more compatible with, but it's almost impossible to break up with her... dunno why...

sunsandmoons · Mar 8, 2010, 05:16 PM

Well then you're in a pickle.

Ask your parents why they dislike somebody so much who they've never even met.

I don't mean to victimise you but I really hope you get bitten on the arse for your behaviour. So many people have problems with trust in a relationships because they know there are cheaters out there like you.

If you want somebody else, you break up with the person you're with before you find that somebody else.

What the hells wrong with you?

I wish · Mar 8, 2010, 05:17 PM

So you're a cheater. If you're willing to cheat on her, then you don't really care about her much anyway.

If you're telling us that you can't find anyone better, then you definitely don't care about her.

You're just settling. How is that fair to her?

I would say, make it a clean break. Quit leading her on.

Then, get your act together.

zalkarad · Mar 8, 2010, 05:18 PM

well... in this case I can say that I act more like a girl who cheats,not like a guy.because I only dated 2 other girls cause I felt I needed more attention,or I don't know what's wrong. Cause in sure she also loves me, but she has a special way of showing it,which I don't appreciate it. I would break up,but as I said before, I love her 2 much...

*special way= she doesn't say, she's like.. introvertite

talaniman · Mar 8, 2010, 06:22 PM

If you're a cheater, you're also a liar, because the truth is, because as long as she doesn't know about your cheating, she will not know of your true character, and that she deserves better. That also makes you a coward, who is afraid of the consequences of your own actions, and a selfish one at that. You don't deserve this virgin, nor she you.

Your family is the least of your problems, as your character is weak, and that my friend, makes your love weak!

Kitkat22 · Mar 8, 2010, 06:30 PM

Grow up! You are how old? Shame on you!

chickie543 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:06 PM

Ok you're all worried about your parents liking her? What about her parents liking you?? I bet if they knew who you really are , they would do some damage to you. I can't believe you can just say I've cheated on her 2 times, without any guilt or anything, something's wrong with you. You need help. Call this girl now, and breakup with her, you do not deserve this women. Wow I can't believe this.

Gemini54 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:38 PM

Ewww. You sound awful.

You think it's important for her to be a virgin and you've cheated on her (twice) in 4 months. Yuck.

I'm not sure why your parents don't like her when they haven't met her and why this should even matter, but it sure sounds as if you don't like her much either.

Give the poor girl a break - all you do is criticize her - be a man and let her find someone more worthy of her attention.

Kitkat22 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:52 PM

HOW OLD ARE YOU? Do you still live at home and what does a nice girl like her see in a loser like you? You brag about your cheating exploits like you are proud of them. Does your girfriend know about it? I hope she finds out and leaves you and then mommy and daddy won't have to worry about their baby boy anymore.

What does "they'll take their hands off you", even mean?:mad: You ask what you can do? Try keeping it in your pants!!

amicon · Mar 9, 2010, 01:34 AM

You have a lot of growing up to do-if you think cheating is acceptable you shouldn't be in a relationship.

Larken85 · Mar 9, 2010, 02:49 AM

Because she is a virgin? What's up you just want to take a virgin? Let me guess, once the deed is done you'll just move on anyway. You make me mad man.
But break up with her, it sounds like you really want to. Get out of the relationship and go find another cheater so you two can be equal. This poor girl does not deserve to be treated this way. She is twenty, you can't be very old as you are still under your mother's rule. I don't see what she sees in a person like you.

Kitkat22 · Mar 9, 2010, 06:15 AM

.

Real men DO NOT go around bragging about cheating on their nice girlfriend. You sound like a bratty kid who just scored the first time! You haven't answered any of our questions. Did mom put you in time out and ground you from the computer? Call 1-800-WAAH! :mad:

racquel58 · Mar 9, 2010, 06:22 AM

When I was younger I had issues with being able to talk to people too. Some people are just shy. Some have ulteria motives. HOWEVER... I would also wonder if you cheated on her, how else is your relationship with her? Maybe she is feeling really brought down by you. If you have cheated you won't seem to care much about her?

I don't know if you saying you 'needed more' is just a way to replace the blame on her. Or if it's that you actually did 'want more' and therefore cheated (still, no excuse).

My conversation skills with certain people got far worse when my ex was treating me badly. It was my fault for allowing him to do that to me, but still, I felt so much pressure especially with his friends because I knew they were all judging me.

sunsandmoons · Mar 9, 2010, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

If you're a cheater, you're also a liar, because the truth is, because as long as she doesn't know about your cheating, she will not know of your true character, and that she deserves better. That also makes you a coward, who is afraid of the consequences of your own actions, and a selfish one at that. You don't deserve this virgin, nor she you.

Your family is the least of your problems, as your character is weak, and that my friend, makes your love weak!

Wise words again, I love reading your posts.

It certainly does say a lot about a persons characte who cheats for one and also doesn't own up and take responsibility for their own actions.

pooja s27 · Mar 9, 2010, 03:05 PM

Firstly understand yourself why do you need that girl, is it because she is virgin or is it because you love her as person and don't want to lose her? Obviously you don't love her that made you cheat her twice in 4 months does she knows this? You are not loving her but have her as backup in life to rely on which is very bad, if you truly love her say truth about yourself to her and allow her to decide what she needs, coming to parents not liking her how would they like her when you are only not loving her truly, if you do then convincing parents is not impossible.

Kitkat22 · Mar 9, 2010, 03:42 PM

You are seriously asking for trouble. Sleeping around with no respect for yourself or the girl you are supposed to "love". If you are an adult and you respect your parents tell them about your so called messing around. If they have never met your "girlfriend" how can they say they don't like her.

As I said before I hope she finds out and finds a guy who is the exact opposite of you , which would mean, honest, caring, faithfull and most of all a gentleman.:rolleyes:

xcherryxkissx · Jan 18, 2011, 05:14 PM

Stop and really think about it... you're saying its important your parents like her, yet you're out cheating on her searching for someone 'worthy'.
Clearly it would make you happier to be with someone more suitable to you and your family.
Clearly it would be better for your girlfriend to be set free, rather than be used... the longer you spend together the harder it will be, just let her go, if you do/did ever care about her at all you'd do it for her.