[vanheart]

Like Tal, said, its going to take some time for the dust to even settle.

Just concentrate on yourself & your health. Maybe create some diversions like visiting or talking with other friends/family, movies, books, your work. Whatever.

And don't change your life & move because of this. Be strong.

Sometimes karma never comes around for rats like these. But good karma will come to you by being strong, staying NC & doing good things for yourself.

[Something_Here]

I can def understand that you're pissed off, I would be as well. If I'd found out that a friend of mine had hooked up with my ex, I would've fitted him a new pair of cement shoes... You've dealt with heartbreak before though, so you can do it again. Time helps, as you already know.

As for the anger, lift weights, jog, or you could try martial arts. You'll get through this.

[krim19]

Thanks guys. I'm trying. A lot of my friends who I haven't seen in ages had already known about what happened. I don't keep a Facebook, and for good reason I guess(prolly the only person in the states, lol). They tried contacting me about it for a week, but I had turned my phone off. They are all being pretty supportive about the whole situation. I just keep feeling like I'm going to be sick. I'm doing push ups in my room as I wait for replies. What keeps bugging me is how underhanded this was. It feels absolutely vile

[vanheart]

It is underhanded & vile.

The real issue is here, you can't do a damn thing about it. Its done.

The only thing you can do is not allow yourself to continue the pain.

They have already caused it. Everything now you feel from now is entirely under your control.

I know that sounds weird, but true. Its just learning how & programming yourself & thoughts toward positive things.

Im not on FB either, but I do have some loving supportive friends & family that helped through the pain. (and of course the wonderful people here)

Keep doing those push-ups.

[likkleanna]

Just read all of this (took me some time but got to the end eventually) its not nice what this girl and so called mate of yours has done to you, if u ask me your well rid of the pair of them who needs enemies with people like that in you life best thing you can do now as everybody else has said is start a fresh, we know your hurting but show them you don't give a crap about either of them and you can move on without them because believe me they will need you well before you will ever need them and when that day comes toss them out like the bag of garbage like they treated you, your worth a damn site more than they will ever be, good luck with your future you can get over this :)

[vanheart]

Very true.

This girl wasn't right, and your "friend" wasn't true.

So, really, you haven't lost anything. Just gained the strength to build awareness, so you can hopefully recognize the good ones.

They no longer deserve a minute of your emotional time.

[krim19]

Thanks for all of your advice everyone. I'm trying to be rational about this. One thing that keeps coming across my mind is the fact that they kept both telling me that they are in love. Can people truly be in love in just a week? My friend is a complete loser, that has nothing going for him. If my ex digs that kind of guy it's fine. But was she saying that to piss me off? Falling in love within a single week?

[amicon]

Stop talking to them,there is no point.
Don't let them get to you.

Let them get on with their sad little lives and you get on with yours.

[vanheart]

Krim,

What you had wasn't love. With either one of them.
And as far as they go, who cares? Two losers hooking up, basically.

I know it hurts like hell, but just be patient with yourself. This hookup isn't your fault. But getting with those snakes are.

Don't worry about what they are doing. Just what you are doing. The smart, cool, and well adjusted one. The one that is learning.

We see people screwing each other over everyday, whether its on the street, or with people we know, or in movies or reality shows.

Until it happens to us. That's when realization happens.

Be happy to be away from them. Not good for you.

[krim19]

Van I know you are so right. I've got to be free. However I feel so scarred. I don't think I'm ready for any kind of relationships at the moment, romantic or friends. I feel closed off and think I'm starting to develop trust issues. Girls in general love attention from me, for some reason(don't worry I'm not conceited or anything) I have no will to talk to them. Whether it be at work or in class I've started to hold a very negative disposition towards women and people in general. I'm not so ignorant to believe all people are the same, but I'm just scared man. I can't believe I'm allowing let two trashy people change my outlook upon life. I have already acknowledged that this isn't healthy and that I need to break free from this train of thought.

[vanheart]

I know, this is going to take a bit.
Rejection sucks a$$. Believe me, I know.

Don't worry so much about girls or being ready for anything. You need to heal from this first. Be patient. And be good to yourself.

Man, this is all normal. Just keep on track. Trust is something that we shouldn't even worry about. Trust is a good thing. That's the basis of all relationships.

There's lots of good people & things outside of this. Maybe you haven't found those things yet.

Did you ever think about that?

[krim19]

I'm willing to be open to see new options, but so far reaching out to people blows. I want there to be other things in life. Dwelling on this is bs, and although I can't help it I'm trying. Other than the people on this forum I have no where to vent my frustrations. I don't think I should become morbid and cynical when these people are apparently having the time of their life. That's what gets me angry.

[vanheart]

One more thing.

We tend to conjure up all sorts of sh$$t in our mind, bad fantasies. Stuff that interferes with our well being. Im sure you know what I mean.

Don't dwell to hard. You already know. Now its about letting go completely.

[vanheart]

Let me ask you this.

If you were over this, what would you be doing?

[krim19]

Well I mix music, and dj at all sorts of events. I go out with friends, and try to meet different and unique people. I'm OK at socializing but I'm a little on the introverted side, so if there are more than ten people around, I tend to get overwhelmed. If I were over this I keep on going to school, working and trying to meet potential friends?

[vanheart]

Cool, put together some new sessions. There was a time before this. And now is the new time. Rock it.

Im a bit introverted at times too. Other times Im exactly the opposite.

Get out of your comfort zone. You may surprised.

[krim19]

Van I'm actually starting to feel better about this. Thank you so much. I feel like I'm going to get some sleep tonight. You are absolutely right, in saying that I did have a life before this mess. And I understand what you mean about being the exact opposite. I can probably be the life of the party for ten minutes. I just hope I never have to face these people again. The worst part is that after analysis of both of their character traits, I feel they might even try to contact me in the future and act as if nothing happened. I'm not one to hold a grudge, but this wound is a deep one.

[krim19]

Well this sucks. I've been trying to cope from all this betrayal and a third party friend informs me he saw my ex-gf in the arms of my ex-friend on Facebook. He commented negatively to the picture which made me kind of happy. The thing is I never thought I would have to hear something like that. I informed my friend that I don't want hear about any of this again, but he kept insisting that he thought it was wrong, and had the right to comment on the picture. I just hope neither my ex or my ex friend think that I went out of my way to post the comment. I'll be honest, but hearing those things made me feel sick. She left me for a loser that lives with his parent, has no job, schooling, car, nor any future. In retrospect all of this made me discover my ex's true colours. I feel completely rotten and this hurts. I don't want to waste anyone's time here, but felt it was necessary to vent. This sucks so bad. Any advice would great at this point.

[amicon]

I think you should tell your friends in no uncertain terms that you don't want any such info in the future.

If they are your friends,they should respect that.

Start focusing on other things,make plans and change your mindset by concentrating on your own life.

[Newguy2009]

That sux bro but its just further clarification that its over and now you have "no choice" but move on and better yourself. Do things for you now and you will get better with time. Forget these 2, they will soon become figments of your imagination.