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Sweetgirl10 · Sep 10, 2009, 02:33 PM

Thank you all for your answers and I will take into consideration:)

bswc · Sep 10, 2009, 10:06 PM

Chill, ignorance is bliss. You're here for some advise and support. Take that only from us.. we'd like to see you cheer up

Sweetgirl10 · Sep 11, 2009, 04:21 PM

:) Thanks a lot!! That put a smile to my face

Sweetgirl10 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:21 PM

Today when I was spending time with my boo I seen his sister who I attended school with and once was cool with. She didn't speak to me so neither did I. I just wanted to know does this sound like she doesn't like me because I'm talking to her brother or she heard something. I really don't know why because I never did anything to her and on top of that awhile back before me and my boyfriend got together I put him on my page and she ask how I knew him and I told her and we kept a conversation about it and that was it. She didn't even think to speak on telling me that that was her brother and how she felt. Also, I tried to be nice to her recently because she was pregnant and I asked her on myspace how was she doing and did she have her baby yet? I didn't get a response so when I seen her today she just kept watching TV like she didn't see me and when I left she just watched me leave. So could you please tell me what this sound like... I really don't care because I'm in love with her brother not her but I just want to know.

Alty · Dec 21, 2009, 10:27 PM

You'd have to ask her. Obviously something is going on, but we can only guess, so can you.

Go to the source, the one that knows what's going on, her.

Good luck.

ohsohappy · Dec 21, 2009, 10:34 PM

She sounds kind of stuck up.

Sweetgirl10 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:37 PM

Your so right ill just have to ask her myself. I didn't think personally that it would be a problem but I'm guessing its an embarrassment to her because we are the same age and her brother is older than the both of us

Sweetgirl10 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:37 PM

She hasn't always been stuck up because we were once cool before like we would talk

ohsohappy · Dec 21, 2009, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

she hasnt always been stuck up because we were once cool before like we would talk

People are just weird, I really wouldnt' taker it personally. People at my work talk to me like I'm an idiot sometimes for absolutely NO reaosn, but OH WELL, it's their problem, not mine, look at this the same way. There's no reason to care.

Sweetgirl10 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:43 PM

You know what I think I'm going to go with your advice because its so obvious I felt the same. I really don't care whether she does or not. When I asked my boyfriend about it he was like why do you feel like that? So I don't know and I am not about to stress over it. Like you said, "OH WELL" her lost not mine.

Sweetgirl10 · Feb 5, 2010, 07:56 PM

Well I haven't talked to my boyfriend for 3 days. It is voluntarily because, lately he has been really busy with his job because of him trying to get a place and I have been very supportive of that. Whenever we do talk we can have a conversation through text and then he goes silent and I ask him he is there and he's like I'm here baby I'm sorry. I'm working. So I got fed up with it and decided to not talk to him. This is the 3rd day now and I turned my phone off so he cannot get in contact with me. By the way I have practiced this before so he wouldn't feel like I was too clingy and like the longest I did it would be a day and he would hit me up later that day and say baby what's up why haven't I heard from you? So I'm not too sure what he's thinking right now. I mean guys what's going through his head? Is this wrong what I'm doing because I'm only trying to give him his space and be supportive from afar. By the way we have been together almost a year now(its only 11 months now). Thanks in Advace!! (All answers are welcome):confused:

CarrotTalker · Feb 5, 2010, 08:10 PM

Sorry, you are not giving him space and being supportive. You are being manipulative to him by turning off your phone.

He sounds like he is simply distracted, give him a few days to work on his life, if he contacts you, respond positively. Ignoring him might just make him worried.

At the same time, it seems like he isn't quite ignoring you, just distracted. He needs to do a better job at conveying that message to you. You then need to back off when he says he is busy.

Just relax, take a deep breath.

Try not to beat yourself up about it. It seems like you really mean well, you just are getting too worried about it :)

Sweetgirl10 · Feb 5, 2010, 08:30 PM

Okay. I won't. I will just turn my phone back on and continue to live my life the way I did before I met him. Which was independent.Your right. I've calmed down a bit from earlier today I was far more worst than before(on the first day).

CarrotTalker · Feb 5, 2010, 09:23 PM

It's really about finding the right balance between independence and dependence on your partner. As long as you learn from the mistakes, you can get better at it! Nobody is perfect.

MandyMarieLove · Feb 5, 2010, 09:58 PM

Try to not turn your phone off, rather than just not bug him til' he reply's to you.. in which you are being supportive, especailly if you tell him, "Hun, I am going to give you so space, because I know you're busy.. and I am sorry.. lol".. Inorder to be supportive you need to show you care.. Even more if you want him to know you're being supportive and you care.. right now you're just playing games.. and honestly it won't always work..

Try the more positive approach and see what happens.. You've been together for almost a year now, TLK thing out as well! :3

Sweetgirl10 · Mar 5, 2010, 12:57 PM

I found out some things about my boyfriend that he didn't tell me and at first it was okay with me, like I decided to let it go and accept his faults. But when I finally came to the realization that I could be living all a lie with him. Some of the things I found out were like his true idenity and "maybe" kids that he had before he met me. Im not too good with communication with him because whenever I see him I get so excited and he make me feel so comfortable and I feel so safe, also the same with being on the telephone. So, I decided to express my feelings through a text which consisted of 9 pages. Well, he in turn never did respond until 5 hours later and it was just a forward message. Two hours later he sent another forward message. So, since he didn't comment it on the serious situation at hand I just decided to brush him off too. Following the next few days he just sent more forward messages, then he finally sent one that said ll is..!. I didn't have my phone at the time because I couldn't find my charger. So when I finally did find it like 2 days later I got that message and never did respond. A couple of my friends told me that he was trying to get me to talk to him but that's so not the way man. I was expecting to hear anything from him and not just a damn forward message, that really showed how much he cared unless he just didn't care. So, I mean I really "did" love him and we have been together for so long. I want to move on now but my heart is pulling me back. Thank you so much in advance for your answers..

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 5, 2010, 01:12 PM

Wow, there are so many things wrong with this picture I don't even know where to begin. You find out that your boyfriend that you've "been together with for so long" MAY have KIDS from a previous relationship that you never told you about and your best way to approach this is to send him a 9 page text message? You can't communicate any issues with him because whenever you see him it's all sunshine and lollipops. How old are you two?

Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

Following the next few days he just sent more forward messages, then he finally sent one that said ll is..!. I didnt have my phone at the time because i couldnt find my charger. So when i finally did find it like 2 days later i got that message and never did respond. A couple of my friends told me that he was trying to get me to talk to him but thats so not the way man. I was expecting to hear anything from him and not just a damn forward message, that really showed how much he cared unless he just didnt care.

I don't understand this. Your friends said he was sending you texts to try to get you to talk to him and you don't agree that's the right way to go about this.. which is sort of what you did.

And to think if you had just spoke to him in PERSON about this, you wouldn't be waiting by your phone for 5 hours for some kind of response.

This isn't some sort of little petty fight, this guy has been lying and he may have children. Put your phone down and talk to face to face.

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 5, 2010, 01:23 PM

And to answer your question, yes I believe you need to move on. He hasn't been honest with you, you two have horrible communication and it doesn't seem like either of you are willing to put in the necessary effort to make this relationship work.

Sweetgirl10 · Mar 5, 2010, 01:36 PM

I agree. I don't want to know anymore, I will just let it go.

Cat1864 · Mar 5, 2010, 02:34 PM

Cell phones do not seem to be a good idea in this relationship. They seem to lead to game playing and not open communication.

I agree that you need to get out of this relationship and give yourself time for healing. Take that time to determine what you want in a relationship. Then take your time finding someone who is willing to be open and honest with you from the beginning. Someone you feel you can trust to be honest with you.

Don't allow yourself to fall into the habit of using texts and phones for important conversations. If you don't feel able or comfortable discussing your needs and concerns face-to-face, then it isn't going to be a healthy relationship.