[talaniman]

What was most telling about his last post was he never came back with what his resolution was, but came back with the same problem.

Hmmm, different girl, same problem? Is it fair to assume, he is the problem?

[MLB33]

Ami - Ive read everything I could possibly find to read. I do mean everything. I feel like we need to all have a conference call haha its hard to translate feelings through words on paper because people get the wrong idea. But, yes in a way I suppose you could call this relationship a rebound but ONLY because it was a short time after my other one. I was in no hurry whatsoever to jump back into something. This one just kind of happened and I fell like a rock for her. Im that guy, that all my friends are like, yeah good luck with marrying him. Not because I'm wild or anything Im just incredibly independent. My mom is the same way, prob because my parents got divorced when I was 8 (27 now) and she had to be that way for me and my brother. So she instilled that attitude in us. We have a great dad don't get me wrong he's just right down the street and always always has been. WAY off topic now sorry.

But no, Ive been in rebound relationships and this is def not one. I really do love this girl. Im saying that with a straight face and... I just do. I mean I can't help it. Like I said before, I wanted to marry her and I just always figured we would be married and we talked about kids names and blah blah. Talked about it with my parents non the less. Anyway, I mean we were just planning to be together forever. Somewhere along the line I forgot that I had to ask her I guess, Im a moron I don't know.

Just to clear things up a bit. She did say she didn't need me when we broke up. She said "You know how you taught me to stand on my own 2 feet, well Im doing it, you taught me too well." And said she wasn't in love with me. THen she called me a week later and said sorry for saying those things that she wasn't being "her." So, yeah she said it and yes it absolutely killed me to sit there and take it, and try to stay in check but I did for the most part. A tear ran down my face (a 1st for me) but you know.

My God Im sorry for getting all off topic. Yes I healed from the previous relationship. I knew in my head and my heart that wasn't going to work. I just didn't know what it felt like to be broken up with. I feel like I need to call all my ex g/fs and apoligize to them ha. Its pretty terrible. But this one... the present one... I just don't think its over. You can call me stupid like everybody else is, but I just don't. I think it can be reconciled... we will see I guess.

Thanks for not jumping to conclusions in your last thread

[MLB33]

Tali - Good observation. I very well could be. I will tell you this, I did make some of the same mistakes and from the previous relationship, I was just hurt. Like I got my feelings hurt. Aww yeah poor me whatever. But, this time I stepped back and actively assessed the situation and wrote down what was good bad and ugly. Along with many other thoughts. I don't want a quick fix, I realize I have to show her. But the MAIN problem was she thought I was never going to committ. Can't say that I blame her.

Example: She was going to move to get her 2nd masters. She would be moving in... I don't know, call it 6 months. She always used to ask how long I thought it would be before I was ready to get married. I kind of pushed the question to the side like most guys do. So grad school was going to take another 2 years and she would be 2 hrs away. I was trying to play it cool and make her feel comfortable when I said "its ok, go for it, I'll see you on the weekends." That was the WRONG answer. I should have paid attention more and realized she was thinking that was going to be 2 more years before we got married. See what Im saying? I didn't see it then though...

[amicon]

You are who you are and I don't think you're stupid,nor a moron for that matter;mostly people here don't share your opinion,as you have gathered(!)-and we have,every single one of us who have posted on this thread,been where you are now at least once.

That's why we recommend what worked for us.

Again,I advice you to look at the facts.
What would you advice a stranger who presented your problem to you?

[MLB33]

Right, and I have thank you so much for just thinking about what your saying to me as opposed to just writing NC in huge letters. Im not knocking anyone on here please don't think that. The fact is, NC does work!! Without a doubt it works because you do head soooo sooo much faster and that's the point of this whole thing right? Right. Its just been 3 weeks but it helped me step back and evaluate my situation. For me however, I don't want to give up on this yet, as you know. So NC forever, may not be the solution to giving it another shot. That's all I was ever trying to say.

Ive thought about that and I would advise them to assess the situation and move very cautiously at first. Warning them, as you all do, that it might blow up in their face. Even it does, look on the bright side, you tried you know?

[MLB33]

Let me justify what I just said real quick so I don't get blasted for it. By trying I mean actively trying and making rational decisions on when to do what and how to do it. Just kind feel it out. I DO NOT mean to call at 2:00 am singing that "I miss you now song" to her. Just wanted to clear that up

[Newguy2009]

So NC forever, may not be the solution to giving it another shot. Thats all I was ever trying to say.

We know what you are trying to say. Its clear that you have made up your mind. I just don't understand why you come here asking these questions if you already know what you are going to do.

Leave her alone man. You are acting like a wimp and its not attractive to any woman. If a doctor told you you were sick, would you believe him? She has told you that its over and that she doesn't want you. Why don't you believe her? Do you think she's lying to see how you react? I think not sir!:D

Not attacking you and I don't think you are dumb or a moron, you are just letting your emotions get the best of you. When all you have to do is look in the mirror and realize that this is over. I don't know what else to say but that's what it is, over. The End:eek:

[MLB33]

OK

[MLB33]

UPDATE: Ok, my ex called a little bit ago asking me a question about where a place was located and the hours they were open. Just a random question. We talked for about 10 min, laughed a little. I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat sometime this week and she said yes. It wasn't a reluctant yes, she didn't even think about it. She told me that yesterday (saturday) she just sat outside all day and did nothing. I don't think she was trying to hint at anything but I don't know. She said her schedule was in her car and so I just told her to get back with me. I ended the conversation with "just let me know when youre available, and Ill talk to you later."

Any advice for my next steps?

[amicon]

Well,wait for her to call,as that is what you have decided to do.
And continue to let her pull your strings.