[joeymac18]

So I've been with this girl since she was in 7th grade. I moved in with her and her grandmother when she was in 9th grade. And the love we have for each other is as real and intense as it gets. Her situation is unique. When she was in 4th grade her mom started doing drugs and left the house and has been in and out of her life ever since then. She's lived with her grandmother over all these years. Her grandmother is a nurse and works every night from 11pm to 7am. And her grandmother has always been really hard on her taking all her anger that she has for her mom doing drugs out on my girlfriend. All of this has forced her to learn how to take care of her self at a very young age and making her much more mature then others her age. So one day she just asked me if I would move in with her and I didn't hesitate. I know how hard her life is and I wanted to be there every minute helping make her life easyer with dealing with her mom and grandmother. The love we share for each other is like a love story I can't express it in words. So we broke up once after a year and a half of being together and me living with her. We had goi into a argument because I had a suspicion of her talking to this kid. She got mad that I didn't trust her and spent a couple days at her friends house who is a single party girl. And that's when she called and said she wanted to break up. She said she felt she was married and didn't want that at this age. She said she need some space and wanted to focus on her and hanging out with her friends more but didn't want to loose me. She said she wanted me in her life and would deffinately want me to be the person who married her and spent our lives together. But she couldent handle it right now. It was really hard for me to take since it was so out of the blue. We didn't talk for a while and she started talking to another kid. We started talking again and she breaks up with this kid after a month and she wants to get back together. And again the love between us was unbelievable! She told me that breaking up with me was the worse decision she's ever made and would never put me through that again. She gets really emotional and cries whenever its brought up. So we've been together now for 2 years and have grown a lot. Things couldent get any better. Christmas just passed and she really wanted this ring. Just a little promise ring that she wanted me to get her so bad. So I got it and she wears it everyday and she's always talking about our future. Like "one day yoour gonna put that other ring on my finger and well be together forever." really sweet and sincere things. And we just had a bunch of snow storms here in Delaware so we've been snowed in for about 4 weeks and alls she's wanted to do is hang out with me and my friends. So that's what we've been doing. I had a job that required me to spend 3 nights at the beach and couldent talk much so she would call me every night crying that she can't sleep without me next to her. That she missed me so much. So I staid on the phone with her for hours until she fell asleep. And she ended up missing those 3 days pf school because she didn't have the rest she needed and was really lonely. She's close with a lot of my friends so she just hung out with them until I got home. So the day I came home from the beach she had lunch plans with an old friend from 5th grade who found her on Facebook. I told her to have fun and that I would see her when I got home. I get home and she has our room all cleaned and the lights dimmed and runs over to me jumps up and gives me a huge hug and kiss. We just laid together talking and kissing. It was amazing to just not care about anything and to lay there with her. So my friend decides that the 3 of us should go to the movies so we get dressed and wait for him. I sit with her while she's on facebbok and I clicked on her messages and see some flirty stuff between her and the kid she went to lunch with. I freaked out and she admitted I'm sorry it was a little flirty it wasn't intentional. She said sorry it wasn't at all how I was making it. And instead of letting it go like I should have I was super mad. We went to the movies and I didn't say a word to her. We get home a couple hours later and my friend leaves. We get ready for bed and it pops in my mind again so I brought it up again for some reason and we got into another argument. We slept in 2 different spots. So I wake up in the morning and I have a note next to me that says "hey babe, went to alexis's house. ill be home tomorrow. ill call you a little later. Love you!" we didn't talk much this day. But she calls that night says that shell be home tomorrow I love you and ill see you tomorrow. So I go to sleep wake up to my alarm around 10 and she just so happened to be in he room packing up a bag. Hey babe what are you packing for. She said I'm staying at alexis's. So I was like for how long, a week? As a joke. And she said "yeah." so I immediately knew something was wrong hopped up and was like babe come here what's wrong. She sat down and got teary eyed and just said I can't handle this right now. That she doesn't want this right now. I was shocked! Because things have been so good between us. And it was just a little argument. She says that she's super stressed with school and the S.A.T's coming. Her college applications. Dealing with her grandmother and mom. That she wants to just focus on her for now and hanging out with friends. So I said "baby i thought i always made dealing with your mom and grandmother wasyer. i thought that me being here giving you all the support you need helping you get through everything life has thrown at you was helping you. not stressing you out." she said " babe you have and i thank you for that. i love you so much and i dont want you to hate me. but i can't handle this right now." it was like time just repeated and she was telling me the same story as a couple years before. And it happened the same way as when we broke up before. We got into an argument and she stays at her same friends house then comes home with a decision to break up. Not even talk to me about what we can do to fix things, just that she wanted to break up. I just gave her a hug and she left. And a couple hours later I had my good buddy pick me up and I've been staying with him since then.

So I'm super shook on all this. I don't know how to take it. I thought things were going perfect and I really don't see where she's coming from. Its so crazy! None of my friend even believed me when I told them that we broke up. Knowone ever thought this was going to happened. Especially with the past few weeks and all of us spending so much time together. It was just reslly unexpected and unbelievable.

We haven't talked since the day we broke up. She told my buddy who she's close with I want things to cool down before I try to talk to him because right now were both really emotional and I think it'll be harder to talk. So its been 7 days and we haven't talked at all. I'm really broken over this and confused. Some friends and family are saying "man she did this to you 2 times now. dont put yourself through it again." others are saying "listen man, shes young. these are the things life throws at us. she needs to make these mistakes so she can learn. give her some time shell deffinately be back." I'm 19 and I've know I want to spend my life with this girl since I was 14. She's turning 18 in a couple months. And up until now I was sure that she was sure this time that this is what she wanted.

I need some help! I want this girl back so bad! She means the world to me. And I'm willing to fight and do whatever I have to do to get her back.

Should I call her, or wait for her to call me?
Should I even talk to her at all?
If we do talk should it be in poerson?

Should I let her no I'm really broken and this is tearing me apart? Or play it like I'm ohk but I still really care about her?

I just don't want her to take advantage of me and think that ill always be there for herto fall back on.

Please help me on this situation. I'm so lost.
Thank you.

[amicon]

Red flags-she isn't willing to solve problems by talking about them and she uses an argument and the fact that she's stressed out to breakup.
When people are in a healthy relationship and they feel under pressure,they want the support of their partner,they don't move out.

Another red flag is that it's the second time she has done this.

I suggest you stay no contact and start doing your own thing.

[joeymac18]

Red flags-she isnt willing to solve problems by talking about them and she uses an argument and the fact that she's stressed out to breakup.
When people are in a healthy relationship and they feel under pressure,they want the support of their partner,they dont move out.

Another red flag is that its the second time she has done this.

I suggest you stay no contact and start doing your own thing.

Thank you for the help. I understand what your saying. We haven't talked in 8 days now. She told my buddy that she does want to talk about the situation. But is kind of scared to because she said she knows if we start talking that she knows we will deffinately get back together in a month or so and she doesn't want that. To me that's like she knows she love and knows that if she talks to me she's not going to be able to help herself and want to get back with me. Its like she's forcing herself not to talk to me because she's knows were going to get back together. What does that mean? Like how am I suppose to take that?

[talaniman]

You take this as a much needed vacation by two very young people who have spent their whole childhood together and its time to grow up and deal with things in a much more mature way.

Just curious is she planning on continuing her education? If she is where? You both are at the age to face the reality of planning for the future, and that means some adjustments from childhood, to adulthood.

Independence of thoughts, and actions is surely coming. So for now, calm down, and give her breathing room, and see what happens.

This is no time to act like a kid, and get so excited, you make communications difficult.

[joeymac18]

You take this as a much needed vacation by two very young people who have spent their whole childhood together and its time to grow up and deal with things in a much more mature way.

Just curious is she planning on continuing her education? If she is where? You both are at the age to face the reality of planning for the future, and that means some adjustments from childhood, to adulthood.

Independence of thoughts, and actions is surely coming. So for now, calm down, and give her breathing room, and see what happens.

This is no time to act like a kid, and get so excited, you make communications difficult.

that helps so much =).
thank you!
and yes she wants to go to Monmouth University for teaching.
one last thing, I'm trying to figure out why she tells everyone that she's scared to hang out and talk because she knows we will end up getting back together. And that she doesn't want a relationship right now just wants to focus on her. But wouldent hesitate to get back together in the near future. Yet, she is talking and hanging out with another guy 3 days after we broke up?

[amicon]

I can't tell you why she's talking to this other guy,nor can I predict what will happen in the future.

I would advice you to start getting your life back on track and get busy doing your own thing.

I do understand that you're hurting and that you need to start looking after yourself now.
Take care.

[talaniman]

Will she have to leave town to attend this college?

[joeymac18]

Will she have to leave town to attend this college?

Yes she will have to leave town. Its about 3 or 4 hours from our home.

The things me and her would share every week up until a couple days ago were so deep. We would just lay together, no t.v. no nothing. Just lay together talking. And she would get so into detail about where we were going to move, what kind of house, how many kids we would have and what there names would be and where were ge we going to get married. We were watching a show the other day and it was about wedding dresses and she jumped up and was like lets go pick me out one! And was super excited. There's no way someone could look me in the eyes and say that stuff and not mean it. And she would get really upset if I even joked with here and disagreed with the things she would say. So I just don't get what she's thinking.. like why and where is this coming from? Is it her single friend in here ear telling her she should be single for awhile?? Like what..

[talaniman]

It's a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but her yearning to do her own thing is pretty strong right now, and to fulfill her dreams she has to leave. That doesn't mean her feelings have changed, its her view of reality, and what she wants in her life that's changed. I find it hard to believe you didn't know that's what she wanted for herself, so it shouldn't be a shock that the day has arrived, and she would leave.

[joeymac18]

Its a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but her yearning to do her own thing is pretty strong right now, and to fulfill her dreams she has to leave. That doesn't mean her feelings have changed, its her view of reality, and what she wants in her life thats changed. I find it hard to believe you didn't know thats what she wanted for herself, so it shouldn't be a shock that the day has arrived, and she would leave.

What I can't figure out is..

Its only been 2 weeks since our argument caused by me accusing her of flirting with this kid and our break up.

We haven't talked.

And now I just found out today that she's going out with this kid...

Wow. I don't no what the hell is going on..

[amicon]

I'm sorry,I understand that's hurtful,but all you can do now is start moving on and get busy doing your own thing.

Stay no contact and concentrate on your own life now.

[eddyg24]

all that happened to me leaving to a friends house coming back a different person I love her as much as u love your girl in the way they r your world and won't give up on the love you guys have well I feel like my x has no respect for me in the way she hurt me I have decided to talk to my x and tell her I love her and will be here for her only if she has not messed around with another guy in a sexual way I gave her like a month of space and after r talk ill let her make the decision go out and have fun and meet girls and hang with them don't tell them about your x trust me and if your ex comes to u I woild take her back people may say your stupid or dumb but they don't know what true love is I'm 19 and my x is 18 let her grow and mature and make sure u know what she did on your guys break if she comes back. I'm still waiting for my x it kills me but I'm still going out it will help good luck wish u the best. If u could tell me what happens between u guys it would be great just so I know what could happen if u don't I understand keep your head up

[Maberyick]

What happen then.. I wish id know..